


Stars

by quinnntessentially



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: As is the rebuilding trust, As is tradition, Crystal Tower Questline (Final Fantasy XIV), F/M, Feels, Fluff, Friendship, G'raha pines after the Warrior of Light, Hurt/Comfort, Learning to Trust Again, Love Bites, Memory is a theme here, Mentions of Blood, No one can convince me otherwise, OOPS! G'raha has a crisis too, One-sided Emet-Selch/WoL, Oral Sex, Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Patch 5.1: Vows of Virtue; Deeds of Cruelty Spoilers, Patch 5.2: Echoes of a Fallen Star Spoilers, Patch 5.3: Reflections in Crystal Spoilers, Post-Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers, Public Displays of Affection, Public Foreplay, Purring makes oral better, Sex, Top G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch, WoL is insecure, the warrior of light has a small crisis, then fluff again, these two are goons, these two are just goobers tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:08:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 63,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27841252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quinnntessentially/pseuds/quinnntessentially
Summary: G'raha spotted the Warrior of Light leave the camp and curiosity got the better of him.A story of love, trust, and renewing both over the course of Crystal Tower and ShadowBringers.
Relationships: G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Warrior of Light
Comments: 211
Kudos: 155





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to this song a lot while writing the first bit. Feel free to also listen while reading <3
> 
> [Stars - the Weepies](https://youtu.be/C99im3d6AyY)

The first time G’raha hears the Warrior of Light, Q’Wynn sing, he is entranced. He’s seen many musical performances in his life, practiced in the art himself, yet hers was one he would never forget. He records the image of her in his mind, the moon is her backdrop and she sits perched upon a crystal spire emitting a soft glow near their camp. Closing her eyes, she plucks at her lute.

Her voice carries over the cool night’s breeze, soft in tone and almost a whisper. He can tell she’s trying to be quiet but his curiosity at her absence from the camp had him seek her out. If only to view from a distance. The Warrior of Light is a fascinating subject for observation after all. He learned this when she was sent to finish his own task in which he took full advantage of testing her abilities with a game of his own design. For now though, he listens, refusing to interrupt her performance. 

Her voice grows louder now, she’s settled into the music and lost herself to it seems. He watches as she taps her bare foot to the crystal she’s sat upon in time with the song. One of his first observations of her at the camp was her incredible dislike for shoes. Whenever she could, she’d rip them off insisting that the feeling of the ground beneath her feet was far better than the comfort of the soles. He creeps forward, wanting to better hear her but despite his best attempts he draws attention to himself. One wayward stick snaps beneath his foot and the music suddenly stops.

She’s quick to draw a defensive position. Quicker than he is to find a proper hiding spot to avoid further embarrassment at her noticing that someone was watching her silently. Her gaze pans the area and it doesn’t take her long to notice him, to which she smiles, brilliantly in his opinion, and relaxes her stance. Swinging the lute to her back along its strap, she hops from her perch and runs over while he stands frozen, unable to act. All he can do as she skips over to him is school his features to not betray his humiliation as he’s sure his face is as red as his hair.

“I didn’t expect to see anyone out this late!” She’s almost directly in front of him, her green eyes aglow in excitement. “I couldn’t sleep so I decided to serenade the stars I suppose. What brings you out here? I thought I saw you scurry back to your tent already.” 

This catches him off-guard. He hadn’t realized that she’d paid enough attention to him to take note of his presence at camp, or lack thereof in this case. He didn’t want her to know that he followed when he realized she had left the camp, so instead he settles on the half-truth of, “I suppose I too couldn’t sleep. The expedition is far too exciting to allow such an endeavor to be easy.”

“Very true. Although, I suspect it's exciting for very different reasons between the two of us. As much as I’d love to focus on the scholarly aspect of our gathering of individuals, I have other duties to attend to that take much of my focus.” She looks into the distance, towards the Crystal Tower that pierces the land. Her face takes a more serious expression, one burdened with duty. “Perhaps, when all is said and done, I can read what you and yours end up writing about this place. Even adventurers need some peace and quiet sometimes.”

He observes the changes in her demeanor. She’s become somber, silent; focusing on something far on the horizon. He suddenly feels even more like an intruder. “It seems I’ve interrupted your attempts at acquiring some peace and quiet. I’ll take my leave.” Turning, he begins to head back to the camp, back to his tent. Alone. He can tell his ears are betraying his mood. He enjoys her presence but he cannot continue to intrude.

“No!”

He’s startled by the force of her protest. He turns his head back and sees her sheepishly looking at the ground. 

“I mean, I…” She hesitates, “I appreciate the company. Not many talk to me as if a friend rather than as the esteemed  _ Warrior of Light _ . Cid does a good job most times but so many people forget that I, too, am just a person.” She’s grinding her bare toe into a patch of dirt in the crystal formation. Clearly she’s feeling just as awkward as he had been, still feels. “If you want, we could enjoy the night together.”

His eyes grow wide. Never would he have voiced it before, but there was nothing more that he wished for than to be noticed by her. Yet, here she is requesting his presence. His mind is reeling, failing to formulate a response. He must be taking too long to respond because she continues. 

“You…” she stutters, “You don’t have to. I just thought since you were already here. You don’t even have to talk. Just some company might be nice, yeah?”

He looks into her emerald eyes before he finally responds simply, “I’d love to.”

That earns him a smile. If he could make her smile all the time he would.

He watches as she starts to climb back up on her perch. She turns back to him and pats the spot next to her and he attempts to climb up after her. He may be nimble but he’s flustered and this seems to have caused him to be the proud new owner of two left feet. His grip begins to fail and he feels gravity pull him back to the ground, but he’s saved from a fall by Q’wynn’s strong grip. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you,” she smiles down at him helping him up. “I wouldn’t be a very good friend if I let you fall.”

His heart thuds in his chest, but he just manages a smile back as he is hoisted up next to her. Once they’re both safely on top of the spire, she leans back on her elbows looking up at the sky. There is only silence between them while they bask in each other’s presence. He dares not look her way for he fears if he does he’ll get caught staring so instead he, too, looks up at the sky. 

The stars shimmer on a cloudless night, decorating the velvety midnight blue expanse. He’s semi-familiar with the constellations of this region and he considers sharing some facts in an effort to impress her with his knowledge but before he can get a word out, he can hear her plucking on the lute once more. Soon, she’s humming with the instrument, eyes closed once more with a slight smile on her face. 

Watching, careful to make no noise, he listens. But then he recognizes the song, takes a leap, and joins in. 

If she’s surprised or annoyed by this, she does not react. Instead, she goes from humming to singing, harmonizing with him. Quietly, they duet in dulcet tones beneath the night sky. He lives for this moment, never wanting to forget this feeling, wishing it would never end. He would sacrifice much and more if it meant that he could do this each night, with her. For now though, this one time is enough. 

Too quickly the song ends, though, and there is silence once more. He dares not speak first. Instead settling on focusing on the horizon once more. He’s positive his face is red once more. His actions tonight have been much too forward. She deserves so much more respect, so much more than anything he could offer. He wishes he were better than--

“You have a lovely singing voice.”

Thoughts are halted, unbelieving that he’s receiving a compliment from one of her abilities and talents. He’s nothing special; a simple scholar. He turns to face her, a clear question on his face. She smiles, gently and continues. “I heard you sing with me. You do so quite well. Did you study music previously?”

“Very little. But I suppose I did for a time.”

“Well, that small bit did wonders. I’m rather self-taught so I have plenty of room to improve. It makes for a nice hobby when I’m on the go though. If my lute can’t come, I always have my voice, I suppose.”

“I’d argue you’re far better than many performers I’ve seen throughout Eorzea.”

It’s her turn for her face to go red and she quickly turns away, refusing to show her embarrassment. “There’s no need to be kind for the sake of politeness. I know where my true abilities lie. All I’m truly good for is killing. My path is not one of creation, rather destruction.” She’s tucked her chin between her knees, attempting to take as little space as possible up. 

Mind racing, he doesn’t know what he did wrong. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to belittle you. It was an honest compliment.” Suddenly unsure of any further action, he’s frozen. 

She sighs, “No, you did nothing wrong.” She burrows her face further into her kneecaps. Softly, so quiet he can barely hear it, she says, “This just isn’t where I expected to end up. This is not who I thought I would be.” Her tail curls around her wrapping around one of her legs, ears flat against her head. Soon, though, she sits up a bit straighter, takes a deep breath and begins once more, “I’m sorry. I’m supposed to be stronger than this.” 

He’s silent as she begins to stand up. “I should let you get to bed. These burdens are my own.’ She pauses once more, thinking. “Thank you, though. I appreciate the thought.” Shifting her lute, once more to her back, she turns in the direction of the camp. He’s not sure what possessed him to do this, but he couldn’t let her leave. Not like that. Not as she was. 

And so, he grasps her wrist.

“No, don’t leave quite yet.” He takes a deep breath. “Perhaps your burdens would be lighter if shared with a friend?”

Turning to look him in the eyes, she studies his face. He feels as if his worth is being measured, as if he is being scrutinized on a deeper level than ever before. His stomach drops. He misunderstood her kindness for friendship. She was merely being polite but he assumed she actually enjoyed his presence. And now? Now is when the bubble bursts. He braces himself for the inevitable and then she speaks.

“Perhaps you’re right.”

It takes him a second, he’s not convinced he heard her correctly. It’s not as if he’s unused to being right, but he’s never been particularly great at making friends. He’s too eccentric, some would say too much to handle for most people. But here she is, extending an offer in friendship. One whom he holds in high esteem, even if they only met recently. After all, she is the Warrior of Light.

He releases his grip on her wrist and she settles back down next to him. This time she sits cross-legged, closer to him than he had sat next to her just earlier. 

“I never wanted to be this ‘Warrior of Light’, you know?” Despite his initial shock at such a statement, he’s silent as she begins. “I just wanted to get out of my tribe, see the world. I wanted to meet new people, make new friends, spread happiness. It’s a children’s dream I suppose. You cannot thrive off of making people happy. There is always the need to do hard work.” 

She sighs and leans back to look at the sky again. “And so I joined the local adventurer’s guild. It was good to start out. I was given the odd job here and there. I was able to help some people out, refine my archery. But then.” She looks back down to her lap. “Then they found out I have the Echo. Soon, I was needed everywhere by everyone. Who am I to deny people hope? Who am I to say no to saving my, our home. First it was simple investigations. Gather information, prevent enemy movement. But then? Then they found my true usefulness in killing primals.”

“I went from someone skilled with an advantage in battle to more myth than woman. I became a tool. Most people speak to me because they want me to do something for them, not because they enjoy my presence or want anything beyond an exchange of services. Is it too much to want a simple friendship? Cid does his best, but even he tends to think of me as more like his own tools than an actual person. I am a machine, a weapon. One used against the strongest foes in the name of Eorzea. It should be an honor, right? No matter how I look at it, I wish I were someone else; that someone else could just take over.”

She stands up now, arms out stretched addressing the empty expanse of the wilderness. Shouting, she addresses a non-existent crowd, “You hear that world? Your beloved Warrior of Light is scared. She wishes she wasn’t required. She wishes she could fade away, never to be found again.” She falls back to a seated position. “I feel like a terrible person for wishing for such things. I’ll perform my duty, do not mistake me. I just wish…” Now she lays onto her back, arms spread across the smooth crystal. “I just wish I didn’t feel so alone.”

Wishing he could say something, anything to help ease her pain, he lies beside her keeping in mind to leave a respectable distance. Together, they lay in silence, both gazing upon the heavens. The cool evening wind brushing against their skin. He never once considered that being the Warrior of Light would be such a burden. He never considered that person behind the title, Q’wynn, could grow to resent it. Eventually, he decides to simply say, “We may have just met, but if you need someone, I’ll gladly be there for you.”

He hears her shift her weight and glances over. She now lays on her side, facing him. “You’ve already done so listening to my rant tonight. I’ve never voiced these thoughts previously. It feels...” She considers her words. “Freeing. Even if nothing comes of letting them out, at the very least they’re no longer bottled up inside. So, thank you. I needed that push to finally vent I suppose.”

It’s his turn to roll onto his side so they now face each other. “What else are friends for?” She smiles that brilliant smile he had seen earlier once more. 

“You’re right, what else are friends for.” She closes her eyes still facing him. He can see her shiver as the night has cooled down. The fur of her tail bristles in an effort to hold in her body heat. 

“It’s getting much too cold to continue our stargazing I fear. We should return to the camp.” He suggests but to his surprise she shakes her head.

“No, not yet. I’m not ready to put my mask back on. Not after you convinced me to remove it for a time.” She scoots closer to him. They still face each other and he can feel heat rush to his cheeks at the proximity. “What’s sharing a little body heat between friends, right?”

He sputters a bit at that, “I’m not fully sure this is decent.”

“Oh come on, we’re fully clothed and this will allow us to keep warm. Or are you ready to be rid of me so soon?”

This time G’raha closes his eyes as he sends a silent prayer to the Twelve. “Well, come here then if you insist on staying out in the cold. I refuse to be the one responsible for you getting sick during our expedition.”

He’s earned another smile causing a tight feeling in his chest. She lays on her back to stare at the sky and lies so that the skin of their arms brush against each other. He, too, turns to watch the stars once more. This is  _ not _ what he had expected to happen tonight, but full glad he is for this turn of events. The Warrior,  _ No, he reminds himself _ , Q’wynn is much more than he anticipated. He’s learned a valuable lesson tonight. One of being careful of how to perceive those already placed upon a pedestal by the world for they too have their own troubles and trauma.

He hears her sigh in contentment and he chances a glance in her direction. Eyes closed, she appears to be dozing off. He’s deciding if he should wake her up so she can get proper rest in her tent but while he’s making up his mind she curls into his side and he freezes. Watching her face relax as she rests, he allows this comfort for the both of them. He wraps an arm around her in an effort to provide some more warmth. As he does so, he hears her speak quietly. Apparently he had misjudged how asleep she really was.

“Thank you, G’raha. For being a friend.”

“For you, Q’wynn? Anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this as a character study and practice for writing my new OC, Q'wynn Bhen, Seeker of the Sun female miqo'te. Eventually though I realized I had written about 3000 words and it seemed a shame to leave it to rot in my Google Drive. After some slight encouragement, I chose to yeet it to AO3. I hope you enjoy two goons interacting under the stars.
> 
> Also! If you want to join an amazing community, [the Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic) is great and has done wonders for me and my mental health. Its wholesome and dedicated to being a kind community for fic readers and writers alike!


	2. Chapter 2

When Q’wynn awakens the next morning, the first thing she notices is she’s not in her tent. The second is that someone has their arm draped across her waist and another’s tail is twined around her own. Shifting her weight, she turns towards her companion.

_ Oh. _

_ OH. _

The events the previous night she thought were a dream, were in fact reality. Her face reddens in embarrassment before she does her best to gently wiggle out of the embrace, despite a small part of her wanting to stay. G’raha grumbles in response and his grip tightens just a touch, but she perseveres eventually making her way out. Waiting a few moments, she stretches to greet the morning sun, checks that all she had brought with her is still present, then turns to the man whom she had unwittingly slept beneath the stars next to.

Toeing him gently, she tries to rouse him. “G’raha, get up. They’re going to ask a lot of awkward questions if you don’t get up. Like now.”

She can hear him grumble in response, shooing her foot away from his stomach. Still, she continues. She is  _ not _ going to go back alone if they’re going to be caught by the rest of “NOAH” as he decided to name the group. Despite her best efforts though, her foot is not enough to rouse the red-head so she takes drastic measures. 

In Q’wynn’s mind, if one does not get up when politely tapped with the tip of her toe, they’ve earned her tickle wrath. This cannot be challenged, any attempts are futile. And so, G’raha discovered this. Quickly.

She pounces, fingers going for the most obvious starting point, the stomach. While her toe may not have succeeded in this area, his defenses are no match for her dexterity. His ears twitch in annoyance at first but soon she can see that her strategy is working. Grinning wildly, she continues her attack. Soon his hands attempt to do more than gently swat and he groans before eyelashes flutter with opening mismatched eyes.

“Who the--” He croaks out, his voice cracking at first use for the day. He registers his surroundings and eyes grow wide before he pushes himself back and away from her. “Q’Wynn! What the… Why…”

She can see the cogs in his mind racing and finds it humorous for a moment before deciding to put the poor man out of his misery. “I’m guessing that we fell asleep last night after I insisted that I wanted to stay.” She rubs the back of her head before fidgeting with one of her ears. “I’ll take the heat when we get back to camp for that I suppose. Wouldn’t want them to think something  _ else _ was going on.”

His face goes red at the thought and he’s quick to agree, “No, no you’re right. There’s absolutely nothing like that going on. I mean, that’d never happen. Nope.” He’s rambling now and she’s enjoying just how flustered he is about it. 

“Never? I’m not good enough for you?”

That stops his stream of consciousness instead now, gaping like a fish. “No, that’s not what I… What I meant was…” He’s running his hands through his hair, fidgeting on the spot. 

“G’raha,” she interrupts. “I’m teasing. Come on. We really should go.” Extending a hand down to him, she helps him up. “It’s not as if I expect anyone to look at me twice anyway.” She laughs at the thought. “My lifestyle isn’t really the best for relationships. I don’t remember the last time I’ve been able to call a spot home.”

She notices his silence, which is odd for the scholar who usually enjoys filling noiseless voids with factoids and thoughts. His still fidgeting as they walk, hands unable to keep still, ears just slightly lower than normal. One of the first things she noticed about him when they officially met face to face was his inability to hide his emotions due to his overactive ears. She found it endearing, cute even. Not that she’d tell him at risk of embarrassing him or herself, but she’ll enjoy it in secret.

“You okay? You’re quieter than normal. Did I do something wrong?” She’s turned to him, hoping to get him to speak even a little.

“Hmmm?” Distractedly, he hums in response. “Oh, sorry, I must have gotten lost in thought. What did you say?”

“I just asked if you’re alright? Did I push too far earlier? I did not intend to make you feel bad.”

“Oh! No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I just…” He pauses. “I’m not used to even thinking about such things.”

“Relationships?”

“Yes, those.”

She hums in response. “I can relate to that.” She swings her arms behind her, clasping her hands. Her gait becomes more exaggerated as she considers her words. Knees reaching higher than necessary for the steps that she takes. “I’m sorry if I hit a sore spot, then. Still friends?”

This gets a laugh out of him, “Of course, still friends.”

“Good, because I don’t think I’d let you go so easily anyway.”

“Oh really? You think you can stop me?” 

She’s relieved to hear him loosen up and begin some banter. “I  _ know _ I can stop you. What makes you think you can overcome the might of the Warrior of Light?” 

“Well.” He holds up one finger. “One, I’ve got a few inches on you. Clearly my height advantage will assist me in this endeavor. Two, I’m faster than I appear. Three, you wouldn’t be expecting  _ this. _ ” On that last word, he sprints off as fast as he can back in the direction of camp.

She laughs at his retreating form and soon chases after him. He might be right, his height and therefore his longer legs might assist him in successfully escaping her. But he didn’t consider that she has  _ endurance  _ on her side and they were a good distance away from the main camp. 

Ensuring her lute is properly strapped to her back, she takes a breath in preparation and runs after him. Despite being barefoot, she’s quick. Each stride is stable and sure. Looking ahead, she watches as he attempts to maintain the harsh pace he began his great escape. 

He lasts much longer than she had originally expected. They had almost made it halfway to the camp before he began to slow down but as soon as she saw the signs of fatigue, she picked up her own pace, closing the gap. She’s now close enough that she can hear his panting. Preparing for impact, she leaps and hits her target who makes an inelegant sound as they both tumble to the ground.

Refusing to lose, she’s quick to pin him to the ground, holding his wrists to the dirt while straddling his hips. He doesn’t struggle though, instead his eyes lock with hers as his chest heaves from the strenuous effort to make it as far as he did. They are frozen like this for a few moments and briefly Q’wynn feels the urge to lean forward and…

“Oh gods.” Leaping up, she removes herself from the suggestive position and paces a short distance away, hands covering her eyes, ears flat to her skull.“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I just got caught up in the chase and…”

His hand grasping hers interrupts her thoughts. “It’s quite alright.” If her face wasn’t already fiercely red, it is now. She turns to look for any hint of lie in his eyes, but finds none. Instead, she swears he is also beginning to blush. Rather than focusing on that implication though, she turns in the direction of camp.

“Come on, I think we’ve been away long enough.”

He merely nods and follows her. They almost arrive at the camp before they realize their hands were still entwined and they each awkwardly release the grip simultaneously taking a step away from the other. She’s never felt so embarrassed in her life and she’s done many a stupid thing in the name of training and preparing for her various jobs and duties as the Warrior of Light. This though, this takes the cake.

She doesn’t know what’s come over her. Perhaps it's just the excitement of having a new friend, one that truly feels like a friend.  _ That must be it _ . She thinks to herself. It's just the thrill of someone seeing her, the real her and not the Warrior of Light. With that in mind, she settles down a tad and leads the way back into camp. They navigate past most everyone without issue and are only briefly teased by Cid who when he sees her expression of horror quickly backs off. 

She’s outside the entrance to her personal tent when she realizes he’s followed her all this way. She grabs her left arm with right hand, rubbing it slowly as she turns to address him. “I’ve got some stuff to take care of before I have to go through the Labyrinth to make it to the tower proper. I really did appreciate your company last night though. I’d be happy to do it again sometimes.” With a quick smile, she makes her way into the tent before her nerves get the best of her, anxious at hearing what his response would have been.

She’s not normally like this. She doesn’t normally get this anxious about what someone thinks of her. But here she is bumbling about like a young kit all over again. She decides to shift her focus to her bow, ensuring it's in good shape for the journey tomorrow. Checking the string, she ensures there are no weak points. Once satisfied, she runs wax along its length to protect it repeating the action on the wood of the bow itself.

The repetitive motion is relaxing and she finds herself pondering the day so far. As awkward as the morning was, it was one of the more pleasant ones she’s had in awhile. For the first time in many moons, she didn’t feel like the Warrior of Light, but more like herself. She liked it. She wants to feel that way more. Smiling, she sets the bow aside. Perhaps, she’ll allow herself such comforts for the duration of this expedition.

She exits her tent and she can tell by the angle of the sun that soon the camp will gather for dinner. Having not washed up for the day yet, she chooses to take the moment to quickly clean up in the local Silvertear Falls. She nods at those she passes by through the camp as she makes her way to the shore and after feeling confident there’s no one around in the secluded section she’s chosen, she removes all but her smalls and leaps in.

The cool water shocks her system as she plunges in and soon she surfaces gasping for air. She’s quick to do her normal washing routine and then opts to enjoy the feel of the water on her skin. The afternoon is silent as she’s enjoying the cool breeze that sweeps across the lake when she hears another splash nearby. Her ears perk at the noise and then she hears a familiar scholar’s voice groan in response to the cool temperatures of the water.

The noise itself is innocent enough, but it causes her quite the opposite response. She’s frozen in the lake, blushing at the thoughts that raced through her mind.  _ This is enough _ , she thinks.  _ Get a grip, Q’wynn. _ She shakes her head and decides she should put some distance between herself and the man in question. Quickly, she gets out of the water, tosses her clothes back on, and sprints back to camp. 

The entire way back, her thoughts are filled with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, this was meant to be a short piece but then I WENT OVERBOARD and there is potentially going to be A LOT MORE. I say potentially so I don't feel guilty if that does not happen but I have some ideas. This will really just be a collection of moments where I mush these two together until I am satisfied, which, who are we kidding... I'll never be lmao.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you're enjoying my attempts at better understanding this character while also getting my fill of a certain catboy.
> 
> Thank you for reading! <3
> 
> Please join me at [the Book Club!](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic) It's filled with wonderful people who are all kind, helpful, and supportive. Without them nothing on this profile would have ever been written. Hope to see you there! <3


	3. Chapter 3

G’raha would be a liar if he said that he hadn’t enjoyed the start of his day, as unusual as it had been. He knew the instant he had laid eyes on Q’wynn, the Warrior of Light, when she was sent to complete the job he had been tasked with that she would be an interesting person to observe. But now? Now it seems as if they are friends and he relishes in it. She is an inspiration to him, kind-hearted and dutiful, yet more than capable of finding simple ways to enjoy the day when presented the opportunity. 

He will admit, though, that he was a bit disappointed when she was quick to flee to her tent after they had arrived back at the camp, leaving no time for him to respond to her hastily given thanks in farewell. He hopes she knows that he enjoyed the previous night just as much as she did. He hopes she knows that he’d repeat it every night for the rest of his life.

He stops at the thought. Where’d that come from? Such an idea is ridiculous. Neither of them have the time for such a thing and surely there many others that are more worth her time. No, he’s content with what time he’s had and if she deems him worthy of more? He’ll gladly take it. In the meantime though, he has an idea of how to at least provide some assistance to the Warrior of Light before making the initial trek into the labyrinth. 

Returning to his tent, he pulls out all the books he can find on the tower and its history. Fortunately, his personal interests in Allagan history have caused him to collect many such things over the course of his studies. He spends the vast majority of the afternoon, taking notes careful that his writing is legible. The least he can do is attempt to discern exactly what threats that Q’wynn may face. Friends care for their friend’s safety, right? This is but a harmless gesture. Nothing more.

He continues this for much of the afternoon, painstakingly going over anything and everything he has. When he feels that he’s done as much as he can, he looks at the stack of papers with satisfaction and then it hits him. He stinks. Horridly. He hasn’t had a chance to wash up since the morning before and the failed escape attempt from Q’wynn worked up a sweat. 

Figuring there’s enough time to quickly wash up in the nearby lake, he makes sure he cleans up his research mess, grabs what is needed and heads down. The day is much warmer than the previous night had been. Temperature varies wildly over the course of the day in this part of Eorzea. He’s pleased by the change though, he knows the water will be cool and the heat in the air will be a balm to his skin. 

His walk is short but enjoyable. The quiet is conducive to sorting through his thoughts. Thoughts filled with her, regardless of whether that is his intent or not. He wonders if she truly did enjoy last night or if she’s just being kind. He has yet to see her say as much as a single rude word to someone. He really hopes she did. He really hopes to get an opportunity to do so again. 

Arriving at the lake, he slips out of his clothes leaving only his smalls, undoes the braid from his hair and jumps into the water with a small splash. The cool water forces a groan from his throat and he wipes his hair out of his eyes. He swears he hears a rustling nearby but chalks it up to just local wildlife. That is until he sees the quickly retreating form of Q’wynn sprinting back to camp.

The rest of his bath is spent worrying what he did wrong.

Upon returning to camp, he hopes that she’s not hiding in her tent but cannot find her. So he returns to his. He looks at the stack of notes he had made, quickly grabs them, and stuffs them in his pockets. Hoping this is enough to make amends for whatever he had done, he leaves his tent. Dinner should be done and the rest of the group gathering, so he heads to the communal table. 

Most of the ironworks crew is already seated when he arrives. One look from Cid though makes him worried that he actually did something wrong in his interactions with Q’wynn. Before he can muster up the courage to ask, the man speaks.

“You and the Warrior are getting quite close aren’t you?” Cid says this with a smirk that wasn’t there before. 

“What do you mean?”

“Ever since you two got back from whatever you were doing together last night, she’s been tripping over her own feet. She was in quite the hurry to get back from the lake and barely said a word before rushing to her tent, face redder than I’ve ever seen it.”

G’raha thinks on this. He doesn’t really understand where Cid is going with this. They’re just friends, or at least he hopes to continue being friends once he gives her these notes in apology for whatever he did to cause her to flee from his vicinity by the lake. He realizes that Cid is looking for him to say something, anything in response to Q’wynn’s plight and so he settles on, “We’re just friends. I saw her playing her lute and she invited me to sit with her. That’s all.”

Cid ponders his words and once again he feels under great scrutiny.  _ Why do so many people in this expedition have this strange ability to measure a soul’s worth? _ He wonders. 

“I think she might be interested in more if you understand my meaning. Which is surprising. I’ve never seen her give a second thought to anyone and more than a few have shown interest in her.” Cid’s implication causes his face to heat up, red blossoming amongst his cheeks. 

He rubs the back of his head sheepishly, he’s sure his ears are further betraying his own desires, regardless of his own acknowledgement of them. “I’m sure she does not think of me in such a way. The Warrior of Light can find a much more suitable companion.”

Cid huffs a laugh at that. “ _ Q’wynn _ though, knows what she likes. I’d be willing to bet quite a bit that right now, that is you.”

He’s thinking of a retort when the person in question arrives and plonks down next to G’raha which only causes further embarrassment at Cid’s knowing expression. 

“Hey guys! What’s for dinner?” If Q’wynn was as afflicted as Cid had suggested, she doesn’t show it now. As she banters with those at the table with them, G’raha is fixated on what Cid had been implying. There is no way that Q’wynn could consider progressing their relationship beyond being friends. They’ve barely interacted. He’d be lying if he said the thought that she could be doesn’t please him to some degree, but he knows it's unrealistic. Soon they will part ways, potentially to never see each other again.

“G’raha, you alright?” He’s pulled from his thoughts at the sound of her voice speaking his name with a hint of concern. She’s staring at him intently, as if looking for any sign of sickness.

“I’m… I’m fine. Just lost in thought.”

“Oh really? What about?” She’s leaning forward and the proximity causes his breath to hitch. He composes himself quickly though. He very well cannot tell her that he was considering a potential future with…

_ Nope, not finishing that thought. _ He remembers what he had prepared when he saw her next though and uses that as his saving grace. “I was thinking about this research I had done to potentially help you when you go to clear the Labyrinth. It’s not much but, knowledge is power as they say.”

She smiles widely at him and he thinks that perhaps he was too quick to assume that he had done something wrong. Perhaps there were other reasons for her quick retreat from the lake. Thinking back, it's very possible she had no idea that he was even there. He’s feeling better about the whole thing now, upset with himself for assuming the worst.

“We’ll have to go over these to ensure that I’m properly prepared then!”

Her phrasing startles him, “What do you mean we?”

“Well, you’re the resident Allagan expert aren’t you? You’ll be the best to ensure that I properly understand all that these notes contain. Especially since you wrote them. There’s quite a bit here.”

“Oh, uh, I suppose that logic is sound.”

“Great! Dinner first, then study. Meet at your tent?”

The unfortunate timing of her question has him spitting some of the stew that was served for dinner onto the table. “My.. my tent?”

“Well.” She looks puzzled. “I figured that’d be best since you’re the one with all the books about it. I suppose we could use mine or sit at this table if that’s preferable. I just thought that it’d be okay since we’re friends but…”

“No!” He says a bit too forcibly and so he takes a breath to calm down. “I mean, no, you’re right. We’ll use my tent. It’s the logical course of action.”

“Do you always follow this logic, or do you ever follow your heart?” She’s teasing him. He relishes in it. Such an action shows a certain amount of fellowship. For a moment, he sees what Cid had described earlier and he’s speechless. He attempts to collect his wits, though, before responding.

“Perhaps I should begin to follow my heart more frequently.” The thought settles nicely within him. He breaks eye contact though once he realizes a blush is once more forming across his cheeks. Unfortunately, this causes him to catch Cid watching them in amusement only causing him further discomfort. 

The pair consume their dinner rather quickly, mostly as he attempts to maintain her pace of consuming the stew. He’s very excited to do what he does best, or at least what he perceives to be his true talents, studying and gathering knowledge. From what he can tell, she’s either also excited to go over the information or she’s just a fast eater. Soon enough, they’re both finished and stand up in sync. 

He leads her back to his tent and is just about to open the flap for her when he realizes it’s a complete mess. “Would you mind waiting, just a few minutes?”

She quirks an eyebrow at the request but nods in response. At her affirmation, he darts in and quickly shuffles his things around so it at least has the illusion of being well-kept. Once satisfied, he peeks out the flap and gestures for her to enter. 

They settle in, hip to hip on the ground of his tent and the night flies by. He’s thrilled by her questions and interest. He can tell it's genuine and he can’t help but feel that if she were not the Warrior of Light she’d do well with him as a scholar. He’s thinking this as he shuffles through the pages of the next tome he was going to go over with her when he feels a weight on his shoulder.

He looks down and she’s leaned against his side in exhaustion. Sighing, he puts the book down and then shakes her gently. 

“Q’wynn, you’re falling asleep you should go to your tent.”

All he receives is a grumble in response and he’s unsure what to do. He doesn’t want to embarrass her by carrying her across camp to her own tent. So instead he sets her on his bedroll, draping a blanket across her form. Then he settles in next to the roll, but not on it after blowing out the candles. He faces her as he falls asleep, watching her smooth and slow breathing. His final thought before darkness claims him is,  _ I could get used to caring for you, Q’wynn. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This continues! I have some vague ideas for next moments and so on so it could get updated again in the next few days but for now, enjoy G'raha's perspective <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Mild depictions of violence, blood.

For the second morning in a row, Q’wynn wakes up in an unfamiliar place. At least she’s in a tent this time though. She’s also very quick to remember whose tent she’s in. This time though, it appears he’s risen before her. 

“G’raha, I’m so sorry. I must have been such a burden last night.”

He turns around from where he had been seated on the floor, reading a book. “No burden, I just didn’t think you’d want to be seen carried back to your tent from mine.”

“If you’re sure.” She watches as he turns back to his book as if it's normal for her to be in his tent at this hour of the morning. His posture is terrible as he pours over the words in the tome. She takes a moment to admire his figure, he’s got strong arms for a scholar, although he is an archer like her and any archer worth their salt has some amount of upper body strength. This gives her an idea.

“G’raha?”

He shifts his weight to turn back once more, “Raha.” She hums, questioning such a response. He continues, “I figure, if we’re going to be friends, you should call me by my given name.”

That surprises her, she’s excited but surprised. “Well, then you must call me Wynn in turn.” 

“Of course, Wynn.” He smiles widely at her. She’s incredibly pleased by it and flushes a bit at the attention, turning slightly away.

"I was thinking... Would you be up for some archery practice?" He offers a mischievous grin in response. 

Soon they are outside the camp, but not too far, bows in hand and quivers on backs. Q’wynn sets up some paper targets she quickly threw together from some blank paper G’raha had in his tent. Once satisfied they’ll stay put, she counts her paces to determine a good distance to practice her aim. G’raha chooses to stand about 10 fulms to her right and they each take a stance aiming at their respective targets. 

She’s fairly pleased with her performance. It took a few tries to be consistent in hitting the target’s center but not too long. This bodes well for her journey into the labyrinth in just a bell and she’s pleased. Turning to her side she sees G’raha-- _ Raha _ , she reminds herself--doing fairly well and at least hitting the target, but she sees where his stance could be improved. 

“Here, you’re tense. Let me show you.” She walks over to him and he glances at her inquisitively. “Do you trust me?” He nods and she takes that as consent to guide his arms to a better position, straightening his posture. She explains the changes as she makes them, helping him to understand why, to better feel the bow as an instrument or tool rather than a weapon.

She guides his hand back as he draws the bow, it's a little awkward because of the slight height difference between the two of them but she makes do. She let’s go of his right hand so he’s free to release the tension of the string when he’s ready to make the shot, instead resting it on his shoulder. She feels his muscles shift as the arrow is thrust towards the target, landing in the center. He jumps in excitement and scoops her into a hug.

They’re both laughing in celebration at his success when she gazes into his mismatched eyes. She feels the pull to lean in once more, but this time doesn’t resist. Their lips meet, gently, cautiously. Both feeling uncertain at the line that they are beginning to cross. It feels right though and she melts into the feeling. Relief floods through her when he reciprocates and only when they are both breathless do they stop. 

She pulls back enough where they make eye contact. Her breaths are heavy and she can feel his chest heaving beneath her. He seems to register what they just did though because she’s dropped. Fortunately, she lands on her feet and sees him take a leap back from her.

“Oh gods. I’m sorry... I don’t know what came over me. I understand if you just want to go back to camp and…”

“Raha.” At the sound of his name he stops his rambling, ears pinned down flat against his head. She smiles in reassurance before walking closer to him while he warily watches her. “You didn’t do anything wrong unless you truly did not want to kiss me back.” 

He’s searching her eyes, she can tell he’s looking for any hint of a lie but she’s confident in her own feelings at this point. Something feels right and for once, she’s going to allow herself the comfort of it. In response to his silence, she continues, “If you have any regrets, I’ll walk away from it now. No strings attached. We can still be friends. We can still talk. I just... I suppose I thought I felt something.”

It’s her turn to feel less than confident in what had just transpired. Perhaps it wasn’t reciprocation, but pity. Perhaps she misread the situation. She’s rubbing her left arm with her right hand attempting to cool her nerves. Anything would be less awkward than this moment. It feels like a precipice and she’s just over the edge, one nudge and she’d fall. 

She still receives no response. His face is shocked and she can tell he’s thinking hard. He’s  _ probably considering the best way to turn me down gently _ , she thinks. So, instead, she decides to end the conversation on her own terms. “It’s okay, we can forget it ever happened.”

She turns to pick up her bow that she left on the ground to assist him but she feels a pull on her wrist. Turning back, she forces herself to make eye contact.

“I… I think I feel it too.”

She gives him a slight, hopeful smile. “Really?”

This time he initiates and she gladly reciprocates, lost in the moment they take each other in. Hugging her tightly, he whispers in her ear, “Yes, I do.”

With a flutter in her chest, she’s about to ask what that means for  _ them _ but the thought is interrupted by someone calling for her. Ears perked, she looks in the direction her name is coming from and then she remembers what she’s supposed to do today.

“Oh, no. I have to go.” She rushes out of his arms to grab her stuff. “I’ll… We can talk more when I get back but if this expedition is going to proceed I must do my part. It’ll take a few days anyway based on the size of the place.” She pauses turning back to him. “Unless it's pleasantly empty I suppose. Unlikely. But one can dream, right?” She flashes a smile in his direction but is caught off-guard by his frown. “Is something wrong?”

He hums briefly before responding, “No, just be sure to come back.”

“I always do.” She goes to sprint back to camp only pausing briefly to give his hand a small squeeze in reassurance. Arriving back at the camp, she finds Rammbroes who had been calling for her. She has a short exchange with the man who first requested her assistance, ensuring him that she’s up to the task and that she’ll be careful before heading to her tent. 

Starting her battle ritual, she undresses to her smalls. Extra clothing only inhibits her movements and her fighting style relies on her agility. Quickly she performs a few stretches and warm-up exercises before facing her armor where it rests on the ground. Bending down she begins to grab each piece of armor and straps it into place. She saves the helm for last as she hates how it rests on her ears, having not had the time to get a custom-made one for herself. 

Testing the fit, she jumps up and down a bit, runs in place. She wants to be sure that nothing slips out of position. Once satisfied, she slings her quiver to her back, grabs her bow, and a small set of emergency medical supplies tucked in her belt pouch. Taking a deep breath she exits the tent. She can see Raha on the other side of the camp watching her and she nods at him in acknowledgement before making her way to the Labyrinth. 

The Labyrinth of the Ancients is massive. Architecture unlike most she’s seen despite being clearly Allagan in origin. As expected, it's heavily populated by various monsters that have made it their home. The first few rooms are simple enough. She keeps her distance, luring one or two of them at a time towards her. 

This works well until she reaches a larger room with a main platform in the center surrounded by many smaller ones. There rests a dragon. Simple enough, she’s fought them before. She nocks an arrow, takes aim, and releases. Target hit, it turns to face her with a roar. She grabs another arrow from her quiver and prepares another shot. Her focus is entirely on the dragon before her and as such she doesn’t notice the other enemies appear behind her.

Sharp pain spreads through her right side and she falters as she’s releasing the arrow, making it miss its mark wildly. She performs a backstep, putting distance between her and the threat beside her and fires a storm of arrows eliminating them. Clasping her bow to her back, she attempts to survey the damage to her side only to see her hand stained with her own blood. Whispering a simple cure spell to stop the bleeding, she thanks Y’shtola for convincing her to study  _ any _ amount of conjury.

Shifting her attention back to the dragon, she wastes no time firing as many arrows as she can in quick succession. Despite killing it once, twice, it comes back repeatedly slowly making its way towards her position. Finally, it gets too close so she attempts to dart to its backside, but the pain causes her to misstep and her ankle beds uncomfortably under her weight. Biting her tongue, she pushes through and lands the final blow on the dragon.

She watches its corpse for a few minutes untrusting of what her eyes show her. Finally, with a cry she slumps to the floor and checks her wounds. Based on her very small amount of knowledge, her ankle is just sprained and will need a few days rest. Her right side, on the other hand, is a bit more of a mess. The cure spell didn’t even mend the skin, instead helping the blood scab quicker preventing her from bleeding out.

Cursing her resistance to learning more healing magic before leaving Gridania, she checks her satchel and binds her foot to prevent excess movement. She gets up to test her mobility and can walk well enough but knows continuing would be much too risky. The secrets beyond the Labyrinth would have to wait.

She hobbles back the way she came, ensuring that at the very least this portion is completely cleared out. Normally, she’d walk back to camp, but once she’s back under the Mor Dhona sky, she uses her whistle to call her Chocobo to help her get back to the camp. She’s quick to dart into her tent, avoiding the stares of those that notice her limp. She’ll report to Rammbroes after she takes another look at her ankle and cleans the gash in her side.

Settling down on her bedroll, she wrests the armor off piece by piece. Once her side is exposed, she grabs her waterskin that she keeps in her tent and pours it over the wound, hissing in pain at the feeling. Once satisfied any dirt is removed, she grabs the satchel of medical supplies and applies an ointment before finally wrapping her torso in bandages to ensure the ointment can do its job. As she’s winding the white fabric around herself she hears the flap of her tent open and a horrified gasp, startling her and she drops the bandage roll.

“By the twelve, what happened?”

Suddenly, she feels someone at her side frantically reaching for the dropped bandage roll. Turning, she sees a familiar shade of crimson hair and she blushes.

“I’m fine. I’ve had plenty worse before.” She swats his hand away from the bandage and takes it herself, continuing her work. “Besides, isn’t it scandalous for you to be in here while I’m barely covered by my smallclothes?”

She can hear him sputtering as she focuses on finishing her medical care. After inspecting it, she shifts her attention to her foot and addresses the man again.

“I don’t mind if you’re in here. I mean, considering what happened this morning, I’d say we’re close enough. Unless you have no self-control, I’m sure we can manage.” She says this with a smile, teasing but reassuring that she trusts him. Her smile falters as she winces as she now wraps her ankle better than she had in the Labyrinth. 

“To answer your question, I didn’t expect to be surrounded by animated skeletons that chose an inopportune time to strike at my side whilst I was otherwise occupied. It's an unfortunate danger to the job I suppose. My echo would normally give me fair warning of such events allowing me to  _ plan better _ but it would seem that it did not think it would be necessary. Perhaps such injuries serve a higher purpose. Who knows?” She shrugs. 

“Your echo could have warned you?” He inquires, watching her carefully from a distance.

“Well, it does sometimes. It’s unpredictable to be honest. I’ve come to terms with it, but I wish it could have saved me the trouble with this. Now I’ll be hobbling around camp for a few days before I can finish the job.”

She stands up to test her weight on her injured ankle once more. It feels fine for the most part so she goes to take a few steps across the tent, passing G’raha on her way as he silently observes. She’s feeling fairly confident about her patch job until she hits an uneven section of the ground and her ankle rolls once more causing her to tumble to the ground. Expecting to hit the ground, she braces herself but instead she’s caught in his arms. 

Blushing, she mutters her thanks and prepares to be set back down, but instead he fully scoops her up. “No more walking until that foot is good and ready. I’ll get whatever you need in the meantime.”

“What I need is to do my job.” She scowls up at him. “I can handle it. Like I’ve said, this isn’t the first time.”

“Well it’s a shame that your comrades allowed you to carry on like that. There’s no rush here, we can manage a few days without you.” He sets her on her bedroll, pushing her to lie down. “Now, I’m going to refill this waterskin and tell Rammbroes that you’re fine but need a few days rest. Then I’ll return and we can figure out the rest.”

Shocked, she watches him leave the tent on his mission. She’s tempted to get up simply to be contrary, but instead, the comfort of the bedroll convinces her to stay. She wraps up in her blanket and closes her eyes. The thought that he’s so adamant about taking care of her makes her heart swell. Before closing her eyes she thinks,  _ I could get used to this _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got a lot longer than I thought. I hope it doesn't feel too drawn out???


	5. Chapter 5

G’raha spent much of the time Q’wynn was in the labyrinth worriedly pacing about the camp. If anyone asked what he was doing he attempted to assure them that he was merely thinking and impatient about what would be found once he is permitted entrance. He’s sure more than a few saw through his poorly created facade. 

If he’s honest with himself, he’s quite worried for her. He _ knows  _ that she’s more than capable of the task. Nearly everyone throughout Eorzea has heard the tales of the famed Warrior of Light, slayer of primals. However, that doesn’t quite put his nerves to rest. Additionally, he’s stuck here pondering just exactly their activities prior to her foray into the ruins really mean for the two of them.

Thinking about the conversation occurring later in the day also sets him on edge. As excited as he is that perhaps she reciprocates what he’s been feeling, he also refuses to get his hopes too high. It could very well be nothing more than a short-lived physical attraction. One that he doesn’t understand, there are much better physical candidates than he.

He shakes his head. No point dwelling on that for now. Looking around, he sees people greet someone arriving at the camp.  _ Could it be? _ He wonders. That’d be strange though, she was expected to be gone far into the night. His worry shifts to concern. She’d only come back so quickly if something went wrong. So, he rushes his way over to her tent. Without a second thought, he enters the tent and is immediately met with the sight of her tending to a wound on her side. 

Panic floods through him and he acts on instinct, reaching over to help but she swats him away. He frets but respects her desires to tend to herself; that is until she falls over testing her wrap job on her ankle. He’s seen enough and forces her to lie down and  _ rest _ . 

That is how he finds himself explaining to Rammbroes why the Warrior of Light will not be leaving her tent without an escort for a few days while she heals up while Cid watches nearby with a knowing stare as if there’s more to it than that.

Which there might be. They still haven’t had  _ the talk _ .

Shoving that thought to the back of his mind though, he wraps up his promised duties, grabs a few items from his own tent, and returns to hers. He’s unsurprised that she appears to be asleep when he arrives so he gently sets the waterskin down on a small table in the corner and takes a seat on the ground next to her bedroll. Thumbing through the book he brought with, he bides his time allowing her rest. 

Once again, though, he finds himself unable to focus on the task at hand. He’s reading the words but not absorbing them. Pouting a bit at the book, he tries his best to concentrate but the attempt is short lived.

“You know, you look very cute when you’re thinking so hard.”

He closes the book and rests it on his lap, turning his head to look at her. “You think so?”

She hums a bit with a smile from her blanket cocoon. “I know so.”

“I’ll have to take your word for it. I’ve never seen myself when I’m thinking,” he laughs before reaching out to cup her cheek. “Are you in pain right now? Can I get you something?”

She shakes her head. “No, I think I’m alright. Do you think they’ll have dinner prepared soon though?”

Cocking his head to the side he considers the time, “Hmm, should be soon, but not yet. I can bring the food here for you if you’d like.”

“Yeah, I can eat here alone.” She flops onto her back with a sigh. He squints at the dramatic response.

“Who said anything about being alone?” He sees her ears perk up at the suggestion he’d stay with her for the meal causing him to grin. “I’d be a terrible friend if I left you here by yourself while I ate at the table.”

She’s quiet for a few moments before rolling back to her side to look at him. “I suppose you’re right. Friends take care of friends I suppose. Do friends do what we did this morning though?”

He sputters at the sudden topic change, despite how much he expected it to. “I suppose not. What do you think that means?” He’d rather have her make the decision on their label,  _ if  _ there is a label. 

She hums quietly for a bit. “I’m not a fan of labels to be quite honest. They’re limiting. But we’re in agreement that we aren’t merely friends? Or at least, I’d like to think so. I mean, for all I know, you left someone behind at that school of yours. Oh no, and I made the first move. What was I thinking?” She pulls her blankets over her head quickly, attempting to hide herself from him. 

Quietly chuckling, he pulls the coverings away from her face. “Nothing to worry about there. I dare say, you’re the first person, woman or otherwise, to look twice at me. It’s quite flattering to be honest to be noticed by the acclaimed Warrior of Light.” He gives her a soft smile. “Moreso by the person behind the title, Q’wynn.”

That gets him a smile and she pulls him down to her. Lips meet more passionately than before and she’s firmly grasping the back of his head, fingers threading through his hair. He’s overwhelmed by this sense of need, desire that is swelling in his chest. 

Mindful of her wound, he runs his hands down her sides feeling the curvature of her body through her clothes. As much as his feral side wishes he could just  _ tear them off,  _ he holds himself back, relishing in the fact that this wonderful, amazing woman has deemed him worthy. He bows before her grace as if she were a goddess and he her follower.

They break for air, briefly, panting heavily before he bends in once more. She’s working on pulling his braid out of his hair as he requests entrance to her mouth with his tongue which she grants. They taste each other slowly, exploring as his hands continue to gently stroke what skin he can find with the pads of his fingers. She’s worked her way through his now loose hair and begins to stroke the base of his right ear eliciting a growl from his throat. 

She smiles against his mouth, “That feel good?”

“Oh, yes.” He purrs his response. “Although, I think perhaps, as much as I’m enjoying this, we should slow down. Someone here is injured and I did promise they would rest.”

She frowns slightly but relents, removing her hand from the back of his head. “I suppose you’re right. At the very least I can find solace that you appear to have been enjoying yourself.”

He can feel heat spread across his cheeks at the remark and attempts to recover quickly. “Careful, or  _ you  _ may not get to enjoy  _ yourself  _ for longer than it takes to heal your injuries.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me.” He grins mischievously and receives a pout in response. “Here, scoot over and I can show you what I was reading. Perhaps, you’ll find Allagan history as interesting as I do.” She does as he asks and he takes a place next to her on the bedroll. Lifting his arm to make room for her to lean into his side, she does as silently requested and he holds the book for them both to see. 

It’s a cozy little scene, he thinks, as he explains the intricacies of the culture of the time. She seems interested less on the major historical events and more on how the common people lived, what did they do, how did it differ from now and he was more than happy to answer all that he could.

Soon, though, her questions stop and he can feel the steady rise and fall of her chest as she sleeps in his lap. He leaves her to sleep while he reads on in silence, his mind more willing to focus now that they’ve had  _ the talk _ . Or rather, skipped right over the talk. He’s elated to be honest. She’s too good for him and he knows this. He’ll treasure any amount of time she’s willing to bless him with and so he gives her a gentle squeeze in thanks. 

It’s about a bell later when he can smell the dinner from across the camp. Looking down at Q’wynn, he gently shakes her awake. She blearily opens her eyes and hums out a questioning sound.

“Dinner’s ready, do you want me to grab you some?”

She nods before resting her head back on his lap. He gently lifts her up and sets her fully on the bedroll before heading out of the tent. Trying to be quick, he grabs what he believes will be a filling portion for both of them and brings it back. The stares from the others as he did not escape him, but he chooses to ignore them for now. However, the soft smile and thumbs up from Cid gives him a slight spring in his step. Support from someone who’s known Q’wynn for longer than he makes him feel as though this isn’t just some fling.

He enters the tent and she’s sitting up now smiling when she sees him, that wide toothy grin that he has begun to love over the past few short days. “Stew again, hope you like it.”

“I will eat anything with great pleasure.” She greedily reaches out to the bowl in his hand which he gladly obliges, passing the bowl to her. 

“So, if I may ask, what exactly happened in the labyrinth that caused these injuries?”

Looking up from her food, she shrugs slightly and swallows. “Nothing too abnormal. There was a large dragon that obviously was distracting and a smaller foe came up behind me. Normally, I’m able to scout the area before making my presence known so I myself am aware of all dangers present. But this time, they seemed to have been conjured by the dragon itself.”

He nods in understanding. “I see. Is that also how your foot ended up in this state?”

“Ah, no.” She pauses with a chuckle and rubs the back of her head. “I attempted an evasive maneuver and my footing slipped. Pain can be a distraction so I wasn’t really on top form. Although, I suppose I am rather clumsy in general.”

“I wouldn’t have guessed you to be clumsy. You seemed rather agile from what I’ve seen.”

Her lips curl up from the flattery. “You’d think that I’d be a paragon of grace but rather I’m much the opposite. I’ve tripped over my own feet too many times to count. Most times I’m fine in battle but occasionally my true nature gets the best of me.”

“Perhaps you need someone to watch your back?” He wouldn’t be lying that he’d be more than pleased to join her on her excursions and if asked he’d gladly do so.

“Oh really? Who would do that? I go places where most men dare not.”

“Perhaps you haven’t found the right companion?”

She hums at this. “I see what you’re trying to get at. But no, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I get through these things because of the blessing of light. Not just skill and to be honest, I’d rather not lose someone important to me because they wanted to help. I don’t think I could handle the guilt.” She turns her face away from him slightly and goes back to her food. 

As much as it pains him to hear that she doesn’t think he can handle it, he doesn’t push. Now is not the time. “Hey, if you really think it's best to go on your own. So be it. But if you do find someone you think can handle themselves and they offer help? Take it. For me.” It’s barely discernible, but he sees her nod her head in response. “On to lighter topics though, how do you plan to spend your time recuperating?”

“Probably, sleeping, reading, or playing lute I suppose. Unless you researchers can find use for me in this miserable state.”

“I’m sure there’s something you could do, but we’ll look more into that tomorrow.” He gestures to her empty bowl. “You finished? Should I get more?”

Shaking her head, she responds, “No, I think I’m quite full. Full enough to put me in a food coma at least.” She yawns with a big stretch to accentuate her point. 

“Well, I’ll leave you to it then. Have a good night.”

She sits up a bit straighter. “Wait, you’re not staying?”

“Would you like me to?”

She nods slightly and he grins at her. “Well, then who am I to refuse such a beautiful woman.”

“You’re making fun of me.”

“No, I truly think you might be the most remarkable in all the land.” He gestures widely in the tent.

“If you mean this tent, well, then yes. We are in agreement.”

He scoots closer to her. “I mean much further than the constraints of this tent, but for now, I believe it's time you rest.” 

He removes some of his outer layers for a more comfortable night’s rest and lays beside her on his side, but not on the bedroll. She peers in his direction and lifts up the blanket. “Well, if you’re going to stay, you might as well get the most comfortable experience. Come on. It's not as if we haven’t done this before.”

He accepts her invitation and slides in. She nestles up into him and wraps the blanket over the two of them.

“Thank you,” she whispers.

“For what?”

“Being here.”


	6. Chapter 6

The next few days were wonderful in Q’wynn’s mind. The ability to just relax for the most part, despite being injured, was a welcome change. It helped that she had a near constant companion at her beck and call. Despite having a valid reason to rest though, she still felt some amount of guilt for further delaying plans to research the mysterious Crystal Tower. 

Although, there were some bright sides to the situation. She had some fun seeing just how far Raha would go to assist her in this state. Her favorite though had to be when she asked him to brush through her hair. Initially, she had expected him to awkwardly, yet politely refuse but he willingly grabbed the brush from her hand and ran it through her hair, careful of her ears. She was even more surprised at her own response.

In her defense, the feeling of a brush running through her hair and scratching her scalp by a hand not her own feels much more soothing than if she were to have done it herself. It scratched an itch she didn’t realize she had. A sense of relief flooded through her that was so strong, she responded with a soft purr, eyes closed. She hadn’t realized she was doing it until she was gently teased about it.

She also enjoyed their daily trips to the shoreline if only because he insisted on carrying her and it was humorous to be brought to the water via piggy-back laughing the whole trip. They’d quickly get washed up together, still in their smalls of course, and by that point, midday meal would be ready. The rest of the day would pass quickly as she listened to what really could have been considered a lecture of Allagan history of various periods depending on Raha’s mood. While she certainly was not a scholar, she did enjoy listening to his voice passionately explain the intricacies of the culture.

Occasionally, they’d play games. She always carries a deck of cards with her when travelling but no matter what game she taught him, he’d almost always win to her endless frustration. Sometimes he’d let her win and though it would normally have wounded her pride, it endears him to her all the more.

This night though, almost a week after her first attempt to defeat the labyrinth, she requests that they go back to  _ their spot _ just outside of camp where they had first slept beneath the stars. 

“I promise it’ll be worth your time. I haven’t been able to get out of camp in ages.” She’s giving him her biggest pout, hoping to convince him this will be good for her. “Mental health is just as important as physical, isn’t it?”

He’s squinting at her, attempting to resist her wiles but she can see he’s caving. He looks away, into the horizon before letting out a large sigh. “Fine, but no climbing the crystal formation. We stay on solid ground that can be easily accessed.” 

Grinning widely, she’s quick to get up to grab her lute and pull him by his arm out of the camp. Her foot has almost healed so she sprints out embracing her refound freedom of movement. She can hear him laughing at her antics in excitement to stretch her legs. It took much effort for her to sit still for as long as Raha had deemed necessary, but she persevered and she will take her reward of finally running as fast her legs will take her. She feels the wind whip through her hair, cutting across her cheeks. Her lungs fill as she breathes in deeply to maintain her stride.

Once she reaches the desired spot, she plops down and sits cross-legged. Swinging the lute to her front by its strap, she settles into a playing position and plucks the strings idly while staring at the landscape. The weather over the last few days has been pleasant and the sky is filled with large soft clouds as if made of cotton.

“Someday, I’ll be able to explore the world without having to worry about the next major, life-threatening menace.” She turns to G’raha who has seated himself next to her, also cross-legged observing her. “I just want to take the time to enjoy the sights, visit the people. Move where the wind and my heart takes me.”

“Sounds like a wonderful dream.”

She smiles. “I’m intent on making that a reality. And what is travelling without a companion?”

“And who would be worthy to travel with the famed Warrior of Light?” He teases before continuing. “Or more importantly, who’s worthy enough to travel with the illustrious Q’wynn Behn?”

She rolls her eyes in response and nudges his side with her right elbow. “You’re a goober, you know that?”

“I may be but, imagine. Together, we could travel the lands and cross the seas. We would take to the skies upon the eternal wind... “ He turns to look her in the eyes. “My heart simply swells to imagine it.”

“Your heart swells? Do we need to call a healer? That can’t be healthy.” She teases which causes him to bump his shoulder into hers giving her an indignant pout. “I jest. Your poetic prose describes a bright future. Hopefully I can reach it.”

She lies on her back to watch the clouds float by in the gentle breeze, returning to pluck at her lute while humming along. It doesn’t take much time for her to feel G’raha lie next to her, joining in her folly. She relishes in the feeling of companionship and hopes it never goes away. Closing her eyes, she repeats a silent prayer.  _ Let me have just this one thing. _

* * *

G’raha would be lying if he said that he didn’t find Wynn’s antics entertaining. He finds himself striving to meet each and every one of her requests perfectly down to each fine detail. Brushing her hair? A breeze, he’s been brushing his own hair for years and in case she hasn’t noticed, his own is longer than hers. Carrying her down to the shore for a daily wash, his pleasure. He’d fancifully bow in the most gaudy fashion as if he were a servant before nobility getting a chuckle out of her.

He relishes in her laughter, her smile, her quick wit, and her inquiring mind. Despite her lack of formal education, she’s a quick and eager learner. He sees her flaws and embraces them. She’s a mess, disorganized, much too worried about how others perceive her, yet also completely care-free in her day-to-day routine. She has terrible nightmares that cause her to thrash wildly in the middle of the night and in the mornings, it takes her almost an hour before she’s truly emotionally ready to face the day. He adores it all.

She heals remarkably quickly, he notices. Unsure if that is part of her Light’s Blessing or if she knows more than she lets on about healing magic, he’s glad that she’s in pain for as short a time as possible. His only fear is that once she’s independent, she’ll realize that she doesn’t truly  _ need _ him. In the interim, until told otherwise, he’ll stay as her companion, confidante, almost lover. It’s all too soon when she announces that she’s feeling well enough to once more tackle the Labyrinth of the Ancients. 

He assists her in getting back into her armor, ensuring that it's fitted properly, perfectly. Strapping her in, he takes great care that this one thing he can do is done right and that his efforts further protect her from the dangers within. His touch lingers as he secures the last buckle and before he can talk himself out of it, he pulls her into a tight hug, whispering into her ear.

“Please come back, safe and whole.”

She’s quick to respond in kind, with her own tight embrace. “I’ll do whatever it takes to come back to you, please know that.” She pulls back to look him in the eyes and with a goofy grin she continues, “Besides, I think as the Warrior of Light, I can swing it.” 

He lets out a soft chuckle and is quick to steal one last kiss before she heads out, pouring all he can into it. Wordlessly, he attempts to convey just how much he loves, adores,  _ needs _ her. He needs her to be safe, to return here, back into his arms. The intensity with which she reciprocates makes him feel as though, maybe, just maybe, she has similar needs and his heart soars. 

Together they walk to the edge of the labyrinth. He waves her off and she confidently smiles back, grasping her bow in her left hand while her dominant offers a thumbs up before turning to face the tower. He stands there until he can no longer see her silhouette walking away from him and only then does he return to camp. 

He spends the time she’s away, doing all he can to keep his mind off the lack of her familiar presence. Throwing himself into further research, study, doing any and all he can to best assist the group. He offers to  _ actually _ complete tasks given to him by Cid and Rammbroes who are eager to make him finally complete such fetch quests. Fortunately, this helps the day pass quickly. Unfortunately, there’s no word from Q’wynn causing him to stew over that she hasn’t returned over dinner.

He’s scowling deeply at his food, more picking at it than eating, doing his best to tell himself that  _ she’s fine _ and that  _ she can do this, this is what she does _ when he hears everyone excitedly stand up to greet someone entering camp. He’s quick to turn around and is ecstatic to see Q’wynn has returned, a large victorious grin spread across her face. Not even considering the audience, he sprints over to her and picks her up into a tight hug.

“I’m so glad you’re safe,” he whispers into her ear.

“I told you, I’ll always find a way back.”

He sets her back on the ground where she looks at him with a gentle smile before her eyes close and she collapses into his arms in exhaustion. Shaking his head, he scoops her up and addresses the group.

“I’ll, uh, I’ll be sure she gets to her tent safe and sound.” Awkwardly he nods at everyone and turns in the direction of her tent. He holds her form to his chest and in her unconscious state, she tucks her head in the crook of his neck. During the journey to her bedroll, he hums the song they sang together beneath the stars in an attempt to soothe her, lull her into a deeper sleep. 

Arriving at his destination, he gently sets her down and wraps the both of them up in her blankets. Holding her close, he sends a wish to the heavens.  _ Please, let this continue. Let us have this one thing. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic will be a soff ride for as long as I can make it lmao <3 Hope you're enjoying!
> 
> If you wanna meet a lot of kind and like-minded people, please do consider joining me at the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic) discord! It's a lovely place and is great for fanfic readers and writers alike!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE NOTE THE RATING CHANGE
> 
> I'll try to warn everyone if there's gonna be _hardcore smut_ in a chapter in the notes at the beginning moving forward but please be aware that I've bumped up the rating to Explicit because there WILL BE SMUT.
> 
> Also, this is really my first attempt at ever writing the sexy times so please be careful and considerate and I'm curious to hear what you guys think. Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoy <3

The next day, they wake up in each other’s arms. It’s a comfortable feeling Q’wynn thinks. One she could get used to. She shifts her weight a bit and feels herself getting pulled in tighter to Raha’s embrace while he whispers in her ear about not wanting to get up yet. She smiles at his tired antics but perseveres with what she thinks will win him over in greeting the morning

“I thought you wanted to see what was in the tower so bad.”

She can feel that jolt him awake in excitement and she laughs at this response. Shuffling under the covers as he releases her from his embrace. As he stands up, she stretches her limbs and checks how her body feels from yesterday’s excursions. She’s sore but no more injured than when she had left the camp to finish what she had started in the labyrinth the day before. 

Pleased with this, she goes to stand. He’s quick to assist her though, bending down with an outstretched hand that she gladly takes with a grin. As she’s hoisted up, yanks her arm just a bit causing her to hurtle into his arms once more where he hugs her tight, placing a kiss on her hairline. She looks up from the embrace with surprise in her eyes. Needing no words, he answers, “I’m just terribly glad you’re safe.”

Together, they ready themselves for the trek to the base of the tower, past the now safe Labyrinth. There are many revelations to be had at the entrance to Syrcus tower though. The entire expedition is amazed when two newcomers, Doga and Unei, arrive stating that they too are ancient Allag scholars sent by the Students of Baldesion to assist. Q’wynn watches as Raha pleads to allow them to help NOAH as additional Allagan advisors. 

Even more surprising though was just how easily they open the gate that had been befuddling the Ironworks team. They then explained that they weren’t truly scholars but instead clones of descendents of the Allagan Empire’s royal family granting them the ability to control the tower. They’ve been awoken in an effort to stop the revived Emperor Xande from bringing the world under his rule once more. 

Q’wynn pondered these latest events as they explored the relatively safe, first floor of the tower. She’s already been asked to clear the way to the top when possible but for now, she’s going to relish in her small victory of defeating the labyrinth. It wouldn’t do for her to push herself too hard and fall victim to one of the many threats that assuredly call this place their home. As such, when she had the chance, she spirited herself away, far from the group to have some time left to her thoughts. 

This room appeared to be some kind of personal quarters. The walls were lined with bookshelves whose books she could only decipher thanks to the echo and in the corner was what appeared to be a nest made of soft pillows and blankets. It seemed cozy enough so she decided this is where she’d temporarily hide from her responsibilities as the Warrior of Light, hide from being it.

Her fingers trail along the dust covered spines of the tomes on the shelves as she browses the rooms contents. She’s not sure how she feels about the ever-mysterious duo that has joined their group. They seem harmless enough but something about this whole situation feels _wrong_. She can only hope that her gut feeling is incorrect this time. Anxiety begins to set in when she hears someone clear their throat and enter the room.

“I was wondering where you had wandered off to.”

She turns to see the one person, she wouldn’t mind interrupting her thoughts right now. G’raha enters the room, taking long strides towards her with a look of concern etched on his face. As soon as she’s within arms reach, he cups her cheek with his right hand and she looks him in the eye.

“Are you okay? You were quick to get away from the group.” He’s worried, nervous that something went wrong and she can tell. He’s never been good at hiding his emotions. 

She attempts to alleviate his unease. “I’m fine, that was just a lot of information to take in at once and I don’t know what but something doesn’t sit well with me about it. It feels as if things are going to go horribly wrong.”

He hums at that. “I see. Well, let’s focus on the here and now. On things we can control. We will do all we can to protect those we can ill afford to lose but in the meantime, let’s not get lost in the what ifs. There is plenty to be thankful for in the now.”

“Oh really?” She smiles coyly. “And what is the ever studious scholar thankful for? Dusty tomes in the archeological find of his dreams?”

“You’re quite right, there’s absolutely nothing else of beauty behold here.” He’s grinning mischievously leaning in to whisper in her ear. “Although, I believe that is a lie. There is something of the absolute highest beauty right in front of me.”

The feeling of his breath on her ear causes a shiver to rush down her spine and before she can respond he pulls her into a kiss filled with longing and need, desperation and desire. She’s quick to return enthusiastically, deepening it, pressing against any boundaries that they might have had previously left standing. The feeling is intoxicating and wonderful, she feels dizzy and content and complete. Too soon, she feels they separate.

Q’wynn has never felt such an intense need in her core prior. Breathless from their long kiss, she stares into his eyes, crimson and teal, lost in their depths as he peers into hers with a look of familiar longing. She hooks her arms around his neck and pulls him close, pressing her body against his. If she had doubts before about G’raha’s own needs or desires, she has none now. 

Closing the gap, she kisses him once more. Fiercely. She pours all her needs, all her feelings into it. He must know what he means to her by now. He must know that she can hardly think about what her life would be like without him moving forward. Her tongue seeks entrance and he parts his lips to grant it. 

Threading her fingers into his hair, she falls deeper into the embrace, deeper into the closeness. They are on a precipice, she and him, and she’s ready to take the leap and can only hope that he’ll go with her. Again, she must breach for air, but as she does he immediately dives to her neck where he whispers promises of love and life, friendship and family all while placing gentle kisses along her jawline. The sensation of his breath against her skin causes her to shudder and release a moan. 

She can feel him smirk against her skin and with newfound confidence he grasps her thighs and lifts her pinning her to the nearby wall. Wrapping legs around his waist, she hugs him close as he continues his ministrations along her exposed skin and soon, almost as if by instinct she pressed her hips to his, frustrated by the barrier provided by both their clothes. A growing need that urges her to remove such things that separate skin touching skin surges through her. In response to pressing into him, he grinds his hips into hers with a deep growl.

“I need…” he gasps.

Her ears perk up at his voice. “I’ll give you anything.” She gasps as he thrusts towards her, pressing her back more firmly against the wall. “Just say the word, what do you need?”

He’s breathing heavily, quiet for but a few moments before finally admitting, “I need you.”

“I’m yours.”

His breath hitches before he growls once more and dives to her neckline alternating between gently kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin forcing another deep moan out of her throat. She begins grasping at his clothes, eager to remove them, eager to remove all boundaries between them. His need is hers, both drowning in this instinctual desire to become one. He senses her urgency and is quick to carry her with him to the pile of pillows he had noted earlier.

In his enthusiasm she’s dropped a bit too soon and with a slightly less than gentle _oof_ she lands on the makeshift bed. He goes to apologize but she stops him by taking his mouth in hers while working on removing his pants where she sees just how excited he really is. She struggles with it though and soon her hands are pushed away while he undoes the fasteners. Instead she busies her hands with her own clothing which goes much smoother. 

When they break away, they’re gasping, chests heaving desperate for air. She can see him doing a once-over of her now naked body.

“You’re incredible, Wynn.”

She flushes at the praise. “You’re just saying that because you’re going to get lucky.”

He hums at her attempt to sidestep his compliment. “I suppose I must show you _exactly how incredible I find you._ ”

Before she can ask what he means, he gently pushes her to lay on her back where he rests his head between her legs. Peering up at her, his eyes ask permission to which she gives a slight nod. That’s all the encouragement he needs and he closes his mouth around her clit. She gasps at the sudden contact and clenches her fingers around the blankets she rests upon. 

The feeling goes from strange to sensual though as he circles his tongue over the bundle of nerves. It's pure bliss and she closes her eyes in response to the sensation. She can feel the warmth in her core spread. Something deep in her begins to coil and threatens to release. She’s pushing against him, trying to chase the feeling when suddenly she feels a vibration coming from his tongue. It takes a second before her ears hear it. _He’s purring_ and by the Twelve, it feels wonderful. She’s so close and this is hurtling her towards the edge but, suddenly, he stops. 

“Raha, what…” She gasps out but she’s silenced as he slides two fingers inside her, curling them inwards ever so slightly while rubbing circles around her clit gently. 

He shushes her gently. “I plan on fully worshipping you as I’ve dreamed of doing for a long time.”

Removing his fingers from her, he slides them along her slit before guiding his arousal to it. The sensation of his velvet skin gliding across her folds makes her feel an intense need to be filled; filled by him, filled with his seed. Her hips buck in response and he grins at her cupping her cheek with his left hand.

“Soon. Do not worry, you will be well taken care of.” He moves his hand to stroke her hairline as he guides himself to her entrance. “Just say the word and I’ll stop, okay? Do you trust me?”

She nods, looking him in the eyes. “With my life. Always.”

He’s gentle, careful as he slides in until he sighs with pleasure once fully sheathed. “Gods, Wynn. You are perfect, a blessing, the guiding star in my night sky. I’d be lost without your light.”

She reaches up to him pulling his face to hers. “The feeling is mutual, Raha.”

He smiles brilliantly before setting a slow, steady pace. They moan in sync at the sensation and she begins to run her fingers across his back while at the same time wrapping her legs around his waist, locking ankles together. She’s lost in ecstasy, everything is perfect and she wants it to never end. 

He leans down to her, kissing her deeply as he continues his steady rhythm and she returns the affections. Moving her hands from his back to his hair, she tugs it out of his short braid and runs her fingers through the silky threads. Suddenly, she remembers something from just a few days prior and slides her hands to his ears that flutter at the touch. Slowly, she begins to rub at their base and she feels him growl against her lips before pulling back to shift his attention to her collar bone. 

“You feel so good, Wynn. I’m yours, forever, as long as I am able and you will have me.” He’s slowly kissing up along her neckline now before whispering in her ear, “Now, tell me, are you also mine?” He punctuates the question with a sudden, quicker thrust that forces a squeak out of her.

“Gods, Raha, yes!” She whines. “I’m yours, forever and always. As long as I am able and you will have me.”

He hums in pleasure before biting down on her shoulder, hard enough to break the skin just slightly but not enough to scar. He quickens his pace and she can feel her climax building causing her to press against him more firmly, urgently. Soon it's all too much and she sings her pleasure as the tension releases. Her song only makes him speed up more, chasing his own finale.

“Wynn, I’m gonna..” He trails off.

She cups his cheek with what energy remains. “Come for me, my scholar. Fill me, show me your desire.”

Her words are enough to send him over the edge and with one last thrust, he shudders before collapsing onto her and proceeding to roll onto his back to lay beside her. He pulls Wynn into his side and kisses her forehead.

“Did you mean it?” He quietly asks.

“Mean what?”

“Forever?”

“Always.”

“Tell me this isn’t a dream. I don’t think I could bear it.” He sighs looking down at her.

“If this is a dream, it's the most wonderful one.” She tucks herself into his side further, laying her head on his chest. Together, they relish in the afterglow, content and at peace, hearts full as they drift off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna meet a lot of kind and like-minded people, please do consider joining me at the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic) discord! It's a lovely place and is great for fanfic readers and writers alike!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They wake from their nap and make their way through Syrcus tower.
> 
> CW: Depictions of battle, non-graphic violence

When G’raha next regains consciousness, he’s at first rather confused by the unfamiliar surroundings. Blinking the sleep away from his eyes, he attempts to recall just  _ where _ he is and then it hits him. All of it.  _ He and Q’wynn, they… _ He stops himself, just thinking that much causes his heart to race. Looking down at her sleeping form, he smiles with contentment. He is hers, but more incredibly  _ she is his _ . 

He hugs her with a careful squeeze that forces a quiet grumble from her. She shifts her body so she’s laying across his chest, their bare skin touching. He strokes her hair, gently massaging her scalp and soon he can feel a purr begin to rumble through her chest. Sighing, he watches her as she rests, wishing, praying that they will have many moments like this in the future.

Shortly, though, Wynn begins to stir and with a mumble opens her emerald eyes. She takes a moment, evaluating her surroundings with a deep yawn before finally speaking. “Oh, good. I was worried this was all just a beautiful dream.”

“Full glad am I that such is not the case. I feel incredibly fortunate in this moment.”

She happily hums at his remark. “The feeling is mutual, Raha.” Firmly embracing him around his middle, she closes her eyes. “I wish we could stay here like this forever. However, I fear that we could be easily discovered in such a compromising position.”

He flushes at the thought of them being discovered and lifts himself up, taking care to bring Wynn with him. “As usual, you’re quite right.” He runs his hands down her sides and she shivers at his touch. “Do you need help getting dressed?” He asks with a mischievous grin.

She shakes her head with a laugh. “No, I feel as though that will end with me  _ still _ naked which is not the desired result.”

“Perhaps not the optimal one, but I would desire it.”

“You’re insatiable. Who would’ve guessed the timid scholar would be such a greedy lover?”

“We all have our secrets, I suppose.” He cups her cheek and pulls her in for a quick kiss before releasing her to find his own clothes. Together, they dress in relative silence. G’raha watches as Wynn gets dressed with practiced ease and efficiency. He wonders just how frequently she’s needed to quickly assemble herself in the midst of an expedition that she now can dress herself so quickly. She begins to attempt to fix his hair and he realizes that his is probably a mess as well, so he follows suit.

While he’s combing through his hair with his fingers, she walks over and swats his hands away.

“Here let me fix this for you since I’m the one who messed it up.” She reaches over and threads her fingers through the silky strands, expertly braiding it back into his typical style. “There, now you at least appear more or less as you normally do.”

Standing back she assesses her work, he blushes under her scrutiny but soon she nods, grabs his hand, and pulls him with her to the door to the hall.

“I imagine they’ll be wanting me to clear the tower as soon as possible. Might as well get ready for that after checking in with Rammbroes and Cid.”

All he does is nod as she leads him through the halls back to the entrance where the others are still gathered. He watches as she discusses the plans to clear Syrcus tower in an effort to reach its peak and remove the most recent threat to the world. Her face has gone from excited and carefree to concerned and serious. She discusses animatedly, arms waving with the two men and he wonders what has caused her such a reaction. Eventually, they seem to come to a conclusion and she walks back in his direction.

“I must get ready. Apparently they want me to clear it immediately.”

His eyes grow wide in shock. “Is that why you seemed upset?”

She cocks her head to the side and looks up at him. “Hmm? Oh. No. I’m used to being pushed to continue working like this.” She looks ahead as she begins the walk back to the camp. “No, they decided that the rest of the expedition will be following behind me as I make my way through.”

He stops in surprise. Why would that be bad? She’d have help nearby if needed. He’s trying to find the downside when she calls his name. Ears perked, he looks to her. “I know you’ve mentioned that you don’t want inexperienced people accompanying you but, this’ll be a whole group that can support you if you need it. How is that a bad thing?”

She releases a long sigh. “Raha, you have yet to see the things that these excursions force me to face.” Walking over to him, she puts her hands on his shoulders and looks him in the eyes. “More people there means there are more people I have to consider, to protect when I need to be focusing elsewhere.” She leans her forehead against his chest. “I can’t overturn their decision now, but I beg you, stay with the group, do not come further into the tower until I give explicit direction to,  _ no matter what _ .”

“What if you’re hurt, what if you’re in danger?”

Looking up once more, she reaches up to cup his cheek. “Such is the life of the Warrior of Light. Do not worry, I’ll always pull through. But, please, I could not bear it if something happened to you especially during this. I told Cid and Rammbroes that this was an unnecessary risk to take but they seem determined to see this to the end with me.”

He pouts a bit at being told not to interfere and they have a short staredown before he relents. “Fine. I don’t like it but I’ll do as you say. You’re the expert, but please, do all you can to keep yourself safe too. You may be the Warrior of Light, but people care about Wynn the adventurer as well.”

Her face finally breaks into a slight smile before she grabs his hand once more. “Come on, I have to get my armor on and make sure my bow is in good enough shape for this. I never had a chance to maintain it after clearing the labyrinth.” 

It doesn’t take long for them to return to camp where he watches her plunk down with her bow to look it over. With practiced motions, she inspects the string and wood, making small adjustments as she finds points that need it. Once content, she moves to check her arrows making sure their condition is good. Finally, she stands up.

“I was going to ask you to leave but I suppose you’ve already seen me bare.” She speaks with a chuckle. “Just keep your hands to yourself if you can.” Looking over to him with a teasing grin, she begins to strip down to her smalls causing him to blush at the sight and slightly turn away. After, she grabs each piece of her armor putting it on with practiced ease. He watches as she does so feeling as if he’s intruding on a personal ritual of hers. Awkwardly, he shifts his weight from side to side as she assembles her gear and tests the fit. 

Humming in approval, she stops her movements and leans down to pick up her supplies. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt for you to bring your bow as well. Just in case I miss something. Better to be armed than not.” She pauses, thinking before continuing. “However, this is  _ not _ permission to get involved. Understood?”

All he can do is nod under her stern look. She nods, walks out of the tent, and he follows. They stop by his where he grabs his own bow and together they walk back to the entrance of the tower in silence. He can tell that she’s put on her facade, the mask of the Warrior of Light and pushed the Wynn he loves so dearly down. He accepts all facets of her but he knows how much it hurts her to hide who she truly is in favor of the acclaimed hero that everyone expects her to be. 

She barks orders to the group with a confidence he didn’t expect and urges them all to be keen on listening to them. Once satisfied that everyone understands, she turns to lead the way. The first few rooms intimidate him but he watches in fascination as Wynn springs into action dispatching the foes with speed and finesse. He watches her make a sweep of the room, ensuring that all is safe before crossing to the staircase across from the expedition group and waving them across. 

They continue like this, watching as she fells monstrosity after monstrosity. He’s in awe. He knew that she must be quite competent in battle with a title such as that of Eikon Slayer, but here she is in front of him doing the impossible all on her own. Each time they ascend to another floor of the tower he thinks, he hopes that it'll be empty or that surely whatever is present can not be worse than what she had just fought and each time he’s proven wrong. 

Soon enough they reach the top after a long battle with the famed Allagan technologist Amon, one whom he has only read about in ancient tomes on Allagan history. Q’wynn surveys the arena with which they are to battle with a quick glance and takes a strong stance. She and the Allagan defender dance around the arena in a deadly performance, each taking strikes as openings are found. It’s a long and tiring battle, he can see her growing more tired with each draw of the bow. But finally,  _ finally _ , Amon falls and Q’wynn is victorious.

He can hardly contain himself waiting for her signal that they can come forward but once she does he runs. Taking a chance, he grabs her wrist stopping her and gives her a questioning look.

“Are you sure you’re okay to continue?”

She looks to the ground before responding. “I’m the Warrior of Light. I must be.” With that, she turns and continues upward, pulling her wrist from his gentle grasp. He wishes she didn’t shut down like this. He’s only ever seen her do this a few times. Releasing the breath he didn’t realize he was holding, he follows her path as they arrive at the final platform where Xande awaits.

If Amon was large, Xande is even more so. His form is imposing, dwarfing Wynn even more than most she encounters. G’raha should have known that the resurrected emperor of the Allagan civilization would be a powerful and gifted mage but he hadn’t realized quite what that meant until Xande began to casually throw out meteor and quaga spells. Wynn seems to have anticipated such strategies from her foe though since she darts out of the way with ease, predicting the sorcerer's actions seemingly before he’s even decided that he’s going to perform them.

Before he knows it, the emperor falls and Wynn stands above the vanquished foe breathing heavily before falling to her knees. He’s quick to sprint to her side, giving her support. 

“You did well, rest,” he whispers to her and all he gets is a slight nod as a response.

He hears the others run up behind him and watches as Doga and Unei seal the voidgate created by Xande successfully breaking the covenant. However, this is where plans fall apart.

It all happens quickly. Nero shows up and begins ranting about something to do with energy levels when suddenly clones of Doga and Unei appear and attack the group. He’s quick to pull out his bow in defense and he notices Wynn immediately prepare for action reflexively out of the corner of his eye. They are swarmed while the voidgate is reopened and begins to pull the Doga they arrived with into it. Nero attempts to save Unei from the same fate but is pulled in as well.

Just as fast as the chaos had erupted, it ends and the group is three people fewer all for it. He’s quick to make his way back to Wynn’s side to ensure she’s okay when Cid announces they should go back to the camp and evaluate the next best steps. Wynn nods in agreement and begins to take a few steps but he sees her legs struggle with each movement. Walking to her side, he pulls one of her arms over his shoulder.

“Let me help, even the Warrior of Light needs assistance sometimes, right?”

She nods and accepts the help and together they walk back. When they get back under the open Mor Dhona air the sky is dark and filled with stars. Cid decides that it's best that they make their plans the next morning and the group consents each heading to their own beds. Guiding Wynn to hers, they walk in companionable silence. He helps her lie down and dims the lanterns in her tent before placing a soft kiss on her forehead. He’s about to leave when she speaks.

“Raha?”

He turns back. “Yes, Wynn?”

She sheepishly looks at him with her ears pressed to her head in what appears to be anxiety. “Stay?” 

“Always.”

With a slight smile, he makes his way over to her and removes his outer layers before curling against her form, holding her to his chest. He can feel her sigh in response to his touch and he closes his eyes.

“Raha?”

He hums in acknowledgement.

She’s quiet for a few moments before finally speaking. “I think…” She pauses. “I think I might love you.”

His breath hitches at her admission before he calms himself down enough to respond. “I think I might love you too, Wynn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this one! It took me a bit to get written and I apologize for that. I hope its contents make up for it! <3
> 
> If you're looking for a wonderful community of people who love FFXIV and fanfiction, look no further than [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic). I've made many, many wonderful and supportive friends here and I'm sure you will as well! I hope to see you there <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Depictions of battle, but non-graphically. Very sad (I cried which made me feel weird)
> 
> I am VERY insecure about the latter half of this chapter but writing this destroyed me a bit so it'll have to be enough. Hope that my tear-filled eyes didn't miss any drastic errors in grammar (praise gDocs spellcheck). Anyway, thank you all for reading and I'm sorta, kinda sorry <3

The next day, over breakfast, Cid shares his idea for the group's next steps. Since they need royal Allagan blood in order to stop the tower from starting what Xande started in his agreement with the Cloud of Darkness, they must make their way to save the pair of clones. However, Cid reminded them all, that means he must come up with a way to reopen the void portal so they can gain access to the Cloud of Darkness’ domain in the Void.

After a short discussion on this, the technicalities, and requirements of such a project the meeting is adjourned and everyone goes their separate ways to prepare. Wynn decides to take the opportunity to resupply and prepare for her part in the plan. She has a few stops she wants to make, the first of which is informing the Scions up in Revenant’s Toll of the latest world-ending shenanigan she’s been brought into, checking the local shops to fill her quiver and medical kit, and if those fail going to the more properly stocked Jeweled Crozier in Coerthas. 

She’s digging around her tent, putting together a bag of what she’ll need to bring with her to town while muttering about Cid again insisting that she will not go into the Void alone. No, now he’s decided that Raha will go with her. It’s understatement that she’s displeased with this decision. She’s livid, seething. 

And of course, Raha was all too quick to agree. She knows he means well, but she cannot afford to be distracted. She cannot afford to lose him. Sighing at the thought, she drops her limbs to her side, ears falling showing her anxiety, her sadness at the idea. She shakes her head to clear it and throws her pack onto her back when at the same time, someone enters her tent. She doesn’t need to face them to know who it is, at this point she knows his scent.

Familiar arms wrap around her middle, as he rests his chin on her shoulder. “You seem worried again…” He trails off, leaving the question hanging.

“I’m always worried.”

He hums at that but doesn’t speak, she knows what he’s looking for. He wants her to admit that she’s mad that he’ll accompany her in their rescue mission. He wants her to rely on him and truly she wants to be able to, but…

She releases a long sigh. “I fear the worst could happen and I’ll be unable to stop it. I fear that I will be unable to protect those I cannot stand to lose.”

He squeezes her in a gentle hug before kissing her on the cheek. “I’d rather be there just in case you need someone than wait out here only for you to never return. I’ll listen to your orders, but please, lean on me just a bit. Together, we are strong.”

She tilts her head granting him better access to her neck which he takes full advantage of moving along her collar bone up to her jawline. Reaching back she brushes her fingers through his bangs. “I have much to do today.”

“There’s at least one thing I wished to do today as well.” He coyly responds, continuing his ministrations along her neck. 

She lets out a quiet, breathy laugh. “If I had known that you’d be such a fiend, I’d have thought twice before our  _ activities _ yesterday.” She turns around while staying in his embrace giving him a teasing grin. “However, I may oblige you once I get my tasks completed.”

“And would having an assistant make these tasks go quicker?”

“Probably not.” She watches him deflate a bit before continuing. “However.” She laughs as his ears perk up in attention and excitement. “Company would be appreciated.”

He smiles widely and she shakes her head at his antics before confirming that she has all she needs before leaving the tent, G’raha in tow. It doesn’t take long to stop at the Scions, most time spent there was to convince Raha that,  _ no, he didn’t need to go in with her _ and that  _ no, she wasn’t embarrassed to be seen with him _ . She might be anxious about getting teased by the various members of the Seventh Dawn if they saw her wandering through town with a man following her every step though. However, that didn’t need to be stated.

Once that matter was handled, she made her way to the local stalls, checking their goods and purchasing what she could find there. Most of what she could find were the various medicines and miscellaneous dungeon crawling items that made her excursions as simple as possible. She was disappointed though when the type of arrows she was accustomed to were not sold in Revenant’s Toll. After confirming that her partner was comfortable using the Aetheryte system, off they went to Coerthas, specifically the Pillars.

She dropped off her armor with one of the menders so a more skilled eye could confirm there were no damages made that needed to be attended to. No shopkeep was fool enough to turn down business with the Warrior of Light, so she had no trouble getting a last-minute job put through. As she scours the Jeweled Crozier, she explains to G’raha what she looks for in her arrows and browses the various bows they have for sale. He watches her closely with a smile, enjoying her giddy excitement. She loads her choices into his arms and he makes no arguments, instead following her around until she leads him to the merchant to exchange payment for the goods.

They head back to the mender and pick up her gear that had passed their examinations before they return to Mor Dhona. The next few days are spent in a pattern of practice, preparation, planning, and passion. They enjoy each other’s company and spend as much of this time in the comfort of the other’s arms as a reminder that they are together and stronger for it. Finally, Cid announces that his machine to open the Void is ready and they make the final preparations.

At the throne room where the Cloud of Darkness took Doga and Unei, and Nero unwittingly as well, Q’wynn turns to G’raha. “I’m giving you your final chance to back out. I can do this alone if I must and quite honestly, I’d prefer it that way.”

Gently smiling, he cups her cheek and she leans into it. “There’s no place I’d rather be than at your side.”

She lets out a huff but relents just as they hear the Voidgate open. “It’s time. Now or never.”

She watches as he nods and follows her into the unknown. Her only plan upon entering is to insist on following the same strategy they had used when clearing Syrcus Tower. She goes first and gives him permission to move forwards once she knows it's safe. This works well until they get to the Cerberus and she knows she’s a bit outmatched in this one on one battle. Yet, she persists. Dodging each strike as much as she can but each time she weakens the large dog enough to potentially retether it to the wall, it breaks free of the one she’s attached before she can complete the second one.

She’s frustrated, scowling at the predicament attempting to be faster than each previous attempt when she sees a flash of red sprint past her. “Raha, no, I didn’t give the signal!”

If he hears her, there is no indication and she cannot turn her attention away from the beast without risking that it goes after him instead. So, she continues on, doing all she can to weaken it once more and when it finally collapses to catch its breath, she rushes for the chains on the wall. As she grabs the first, she sees G’raha run to the monster with the second. There’s no time to argue so she accepts the help bringing her own to the containment collar that Cerberus wears. 

Once both have been secured, she readies her bow to finish the job and G’raha follows suit. The two fire their weapons in unison, practiced from the previous days preparations and together they cause Cerberus to finally fall for good. 

“That was completely and utterly insane.” She’s rounded on him now, fury in her tone. “You are the most frustrating, reckless fool I’ve ever met.” Stopping directly in front of him she grabs him by the shoulders. “Yet…” She sighs. “I’m so glad you’re safe.”

“So am I, Wynn, so am I.” He looks ahead. “I think we have a mission to complete though.” He looks down at her. “Don’t worry. Like I said before, we are strong, together.”

She smiles, slightly, in agreement finally willing that perhaps, he’s right. That perhaps she’s found someone she can truly rely on, trust to always be there. But rather than dwell on such thoughts, she turns and leads the way to the final threat.

Large and imposing, the Cloud of Darkness towers above them when they reach the platform spreading chaos to distract the pair in their efforts to defeat her. The fight pushes Wynn further than she’s ever been before and it’s a wonder that Raha is keeping up alongside her. Just when she feels as if she’s going to collapse from exhaustion though, the cloud dissipates into its weakened state.

Much like at the peak of Syrcus Tower though, chaos once again erupts when victory is in reach. They find Doga and Unei and all seems well, they can leave and prevent the tower from fulfilling Xande’s mission however, the pair have other plans. 

Wynn’s attention is taken quickly by the Cloud of Darkness arising once more and vaguely hears that the clones intend to stay behind to hold it back, preventing the monstrous beast from arriving back to Eorzea, but they are under attack and she’s doing all she can to protect the group. Suddenly, though, a beam of light appears aimed directly at Raha. 

She’s all but panicking internally as she scrambles to do something, anything to stop the attack from reaching him but she’s too late and just as she expects it to strike him down, an invisible barrier disperses the light rendering him safe. There’s no time for her to process this before Doga and Unei urgently discuss  _ something  _ with him and perform what appears to be some kind of empowering ritual. Her attention is far too divided to properly understand though and does her best to  _ trust _ that he knows what he’s doing.

She’s scanning the now quiet segment of the void for further trickery from the major threat when G’raha runs up to her, urging her that it's time to go with Nero in tow. She looks back to see the pair they had come to save staying behind with alarm.

“They need to come with us, they’re the whole reason we’re here.”

“They need to stay. Wynn, trust me. There’s no other way.”

Pursing her lips, she stares him in the eyes, now paired crimson. The shock must be clear on her face because he quickly looks away. 

“Fine. I trust you. Let’s go.”

It’s just as hard, if not more difficult to escape the void. Nero falls behind due to the corruption of darkness spreading through his body. Wynn watches as Raha pleads with Nero to continue, to push harder to escape with them to no avail.

“Raha, we have to go. If he gets out, he gets out but there’s no time to argue.” She doesn’t wait for him to answer and pulls him along with her to safety. She  _ will not _ lose him to this madness.

Once back in the relative safety of the tower, she immediately does a once over of G’raha, ensuring there are no injuries to be taken care of, nothing that needs attention right away. She’s fretting, terrified, feeling his limbs checking for breaks, scratches, anything that should not be there until he stops her with a firm hug.

“Wynn, I’m here. I’m fine.”

She chokes back a sob before hugging him back. In the midst of her panic she didn’t notice Nero making it through the portal before Cid ensured that it was closed and the Void sealed away once again. She sends a look to Cid who merely nods in assent at her silent question before she exits the tower as fast as she can.

She needs space between herself and it. Right now, it’s too much. The Warrior of Light might be able to handle such things, but she’s only Wynn at this moment. A terrified miqo’te who left her tribe for adventure, nothing more. Tears fall as she takes determined steps down the many flights to the base of the tower. She can hear someone shadowing behind her but she dares not look back. 

When she gets to her tent, she angrily wrests her armor off, not caring how she tosses it to the side. Her bow added to the top of the pile with as much care when she stands in just her smalls. It is here where she finally breaks down. She thought she was going to lose someone today and that it would have been her fault. She hadn’t trained hard enough, been aware enough, pushed hard enough to ensure they did not get placed in such a situation from the beginning.

Her shoulders heave with each heavy breath she releases along with her sobs. She sits on the dirt floor of her tent releasing the pent up frustration and fear that she bottled up as best she could until she was alone. But then, suddenly, she’s no longer alone and just like in the morning, familiar arms wrap around her, pulling her into the owner’s lap. 

“Wynn, I’m here. You’re fine. We’re both fine.” He strokes her hair and wipes her tears before letting his voice fade into silence allowing her to let her tears run dry. They sit like this for a while until she finally wraps her arms around his neck.

“Stay with me, please.”

He’s hesitant. She notices and worries that she did something wrong, before he finally whispers, “Of course.” Just like they had been for the better of the past few weeks, they settle onto the bedroll together as he holds her.

In the morning, though, she wakes up alone. Anxiety rushes through her and she quickly tosses something, anything on to cover her mostly bare body before darting out of her tent. Rammbroes and Cid see her concern and without even needing to ask they point in the direction of the tower.

Of course it has something to do with the accursed thing.

And so, she runs.

She’s thankful when she gets to it that he’s there, in the entrance and in her sights. Safe. But her gratitude turns sour when he turns to look at her with the saddest look in his eyes she’s ever seen.

“Ah, I had…” He pauses. “I had hoped you would not have woken up so soon.”

She sidesteps his attempts to avoid her obvious questions and gets right to the point. “What are you doing here. There’s nothing left for us to do. We should just close the damn thing up and make sure no one ever comes back.”

He looks to the ground briefly before responding. “Wynn, that’s exactly what I intend to do. I’m the only one who can.”

“No, you, no there’s no way. We’ll just shut it. It’s a door, it can’t be that hard.”

He laughs a bit at that before turning pensive. “Doga and Unei figured it out. They figured out what the Allagan Eye running in my family means. It means my line has royal blood and as such, I’m now the last person that can control the tower and  _ absolutely ensure _ that it does not fall into the wrong hands.”

Her mind reels with the information, processing it. “Is that why?” She reaches to brush her thumb across the cheek where his once teal eye, now red rests above.

“Yes. They enhanced my ties to the royal bloodline so I can properly control the tower while they stay behind. That’s why I...” He sighs. “Wynn, I have to stay behind. In the tower.” 

She hears the rest of the expedition arrive behind her while she stares at him in shock. “I thought…” She’s crying now. “I thought you…”

He hushes her with a deep kiss, passionate and she returns it in desperation; pouring a plea for him to stay with her into the action, but he pulls back, sadness still in his eyes.

“I do. If I could stay, I would.” He pulls her into a hug, firm. “If I could trade away this burden so that I could stay by your side I would, but I cannot and it must be me. The future is where my destiny waits, Wynn. I truly hope it's not that far into the future. But...” He exhales deeply. “Please, continue to live in joy for me. Do not weep for I am not dead, only resting until the world is ready for the tower and all that it holds.”

He releases his hold on her and steps back a bit before taking his bow and handing it to her. She grabs it, numbly, staring down confused before looking back to him. 

“Take it and I’ll always be with you.” He gives a slight smile, a futile effort in encouragement before nodding at someone behind her. Suddenly, she feels someone grab her from behind and she thrashes at the sudden unwelcome grip. All she can do is watch while she struggles. Watch as her love leaves her behind with one last look at her through the crack between the massive doors as they close with a deafening thud. 

Whoever held her back, releases their grip on her and she runs to the door slamming her palm against it with all her might, demanding they open for her, demanding that he opens them for her between visceral sobs that wrack her lungs making her short of breath. When there is no response, she slides to the ground and weeps.

Q’wynn, the Warrior of Light, has never felt so alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no clever words. Please join me at the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic) and screech at me and others about FFXIV and fanfiction if that's your thing.
> 
> Thank you all for reading and sticking with the story this far. I promise that it'll end happily lmao


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey, I recovered a bit quicker than I expected. Enjoy the interlude <3

Numb.

Empty.

Utter, overwhelming, solitude.

Q’wynn doesn’t know how long she laid outside the doors to the tower.

She doesn’t know how she came to be back at her tent, let alone return to the Rising Stones.

But.

Here she is.

Alone.

Looking at herself in the mirror in her quarters, staring at the reminder of their love that marks her shoulder. What once brought joy, now brings sorrow. It is painful to look at, so she doesn’t. 

In the coming months, she never leaves her room without the scarf that hides the mark. If anyone wonders why, they do not ask. She is the Warrior of Light and she may do as she pleases. She is the Warrior of Light and she is a tool, a means to an end. As long as she performs her duties, she is best left to her own devices.

That’s how it feels at least. If she loathed the title before, she hates it with all her being now.  _ Duty _ . The word pierces her heart. Duty has done nothing but left devastation in its wake. 

Soon enough though, the world has need of the Warrior of Light once more and she’s suddenly mixed in the chaos in Coerthas in regards to the Dragonsong War. There was a brief light in the conflict. A man by the name of Haurchefant wiggled his way into her frozen heart just enough that when he too was erased from her life, she shut down even more. 

Training is how she spends her days where she’s not immediately needed. Refining skills she already has and learning new ones. If she is to be a weapon, she’ll ensure she is the most efficient one. She finally learns how to harness her aether properly in conjuration and thaumaturgy. Even taking lessons from a so-called  _ Red Mage _ and learning to harness both schools in tandem for a mixed martial and magic fight style.

No matter what new skills she acquires, she always falls back to archery. The bow she received from him is her constant companion, meticulously cared for. Whenever asked where she got it from, she simply responds that she doesn’t quite remember, refusing to bring to surface painful memories while unable to let go of the object that forces them to live in the back of her mind at all times. 

As has become the norm in her life though, despite bringing the conflict between man and dragons to an end, there is always conflict between groups of men that remains. The Garlean Empire continues their conquests, their attempts to bring all the realm under their control and the Warrior of Light is called upon to prevent thus.

Each conflict, each mission she feels Q’wynn slipping away and the hero replacing her but if that’s the cost to save the world, she must pay it. She hasn’t touched her lute since before that fateful day beneath the shadow of the Crystal Tower. Instead it collects dust in her room as she travels to Ala Mhigo and Doma doing all she can to hold the Empire at bay. She is a shadow of whom she once was, but an efficient soldier whose prowess sprouts tales of valor across the land.

This is how she came to be faced with the prince of Garlemald becoming utterly, insanely fascinated with her.

The man is intimidating, seemingly emotionless. His thirst for battle and physical combat is boundless and defines him. Their first encounter she’s not strong enough to defend Rhalgyr’s Reach and he swats her away as if she were an annoying gnat. She’s never made such a visceral hiss at someone prior to this, but the noise only causes him to smirk at her as if she were a kit attempting to scare off a beast. Which is exactly how she felt.

She continues her training, desperate, anxious. The Scions watch as she pushes herself to exhaustion, to the edge day after day with nary a word of caution. Of course they wouldn’t, they need her to improve, to be better than she is at this moment. They ensure that she’s fed and rested, ready to perform her next duty.

All too quickly she’s called to assist in storming Ala Mhigo to release it from the Empire’s hold. The Scions and the Warrior of Light storm the palace removing all that dare oppose them until they finally reach Zenos in the throne room. The battle takes what feels like an eternity after Zenos monologues for what feels like a longer one. She’s quite disturbed by his fascination with her, with her desire to tear him apart and remove his threat from the world. He welcomes the threat, relishes in it. Wishes for her to act on these feral desires to rip and tear.

When she finally thinks it’s over, that he’s going to concede defeat and leave with his life and tail between his legs, he instead invites her to follow him. Confusion rushes through her that quickly becomes horror as she watches him take control of the primal Shinryu after claiming that even after  _ everything she’s gone through _ she still hasn’t mastered her abilities.

Despite the impossibility of Zenos’ feat, she still defeats him in battle, the echo warning her of all she could have, would have done wrong otherwise ensuring her victory. In shock, she watches as he ends his own life, satisfied that he’s done all he can, fulfilled his life’s purpose and falls to the ground while her and the Ala Mhigan resistance observe.

The celebrations are brief and she does not take part more than required. It doesn’t feel like a victory. Not when she knows it’s just a brief respite until she’s called upon once more to do Eorzea and the Alliance’s bidding. Bitter thoughts swirl through her mind during the festivities, resentment bubbling over. Yet, she keeps quiet offering gentle smiles hiding her true feelings for all those that look up to her. 

Time proves her right. Garlemald retaliates after a failed peace treaty meeting forcing her to once more spring into action whilst attempting to manage these gods-forsaken headaches that cause her to bend over in pain, vision distorted. All while this is going on, the Scions begin to fall one by one to mysterious circumstances until she is truly alone, not just in mind but in body as well. It’s in the center of the dark that she meets the beast at this chaos’ core.

Again, against all odds, Zenos stands before her hand on the hilt of his sword. It takes one look before they begin their dance. She doesn’t know what, but something feels different, wrong in how he fights. Less measured, precise, his movements are reactionary rather than proactive. She feels victory is in reach when once again, pain flashes through her head and bends over once more. 

_ Not now _ .

_ Please, I open wide the gates. _

_ Your bloody gates can wait. This is life or death. _

Despite her conviction to remain conscious, her body falls and the world goes dark.

When she becomes aware of her surroundings, it appears as if she is a space between places, a crack in the universe. Before her is a man, covered by flowing cloth of black, red, and white holding an ornate staff he leans on for support. She does not speak in his presence and instead waits for him to start and when he does, her mind reels barely able to listen to what he’s telling her.

_ I know that voice. I know this man. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> f you want to join an amazing community, the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic) is great and has done wonders for me and my mental health. Its wholesome and dedicated to being a kind community for fic readers and writers alike!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey double update! This time with CW: SMUT. Please enjoy <3 Hopefully there are no tears this time.

The remainder of those at the Rising Stones sense a change in her. Rather than spend her days training incessantly, she’s turned her attention to the riddle that the hooded man has given her. She feels as if she knows that voice, but it’s impossible, the owner is asleep, lost to her forever. But she cannot shake the idea that she must go meet him and so she does.

It doesn’t take much to convince those that rely on her that she should move forward with such plans. They agree that what the man has said is concerning and that it is best to not leave it unaddressed. As such she returns to the place she hates most to find what was left for her and as soon as she does, she feels a pull and she’s gone.

The journey through the rift between worlds is unpleasant throwing her own and other’s pasts at her. Reminders of their failures and fears, concerns and consequences of their actions. It's all too much and then it ends abruptly and she’s arrived. Her feet now on solid ground, she surveys the landscape, eyes squinting against the incredible light when she sees it; that damnable tower.

It’s clear that is where she must go, so, grudgingly, she moves onward one foot after the other. After a brief encounter with one whom appears to be a madman, she arrives at a large fort where a guard (captain?) greets her with an untrusting stance. Their conversation is interrupted by a foul creature of incredible light aspect who attacks but it is slain with ease by the woman. Q’wynn is about to inquire further about the state of this world when she smells it. _Him._

The man from her vision sprints their direction and after a brief introduction of himself, they walk to this _Crystarium_ that he mentioned. He gives small details about the realm in idle talk but refuses to go in depth until they are alone. She’s fine with that, she has questions of her own. Questions that she will demand answers for.

Soon enough, they pass the gates to the city that appears to be a beacon of civilization in a world that has been under siege by the light-aspected beasts for quite some time. He leads her to the center straight to the tower. Straight to where she does not want to go. She interrupts his tour guide speech with the first words she’s spoken since she picked up his scent.

“This tower is not native to this realm.” She states, not questions. She knows the truth but waits for him to respond.

“No, it appeared suddenly one day. It took some time but we were able to gain access.”

She hums at that looking his way attempting to get a good view of his face, but he’s done a good job using that hood to mask his features. 

“I had… someone very close to me lock themselves in the tower, G’raha Tia. Was there such a man there when you were able to open it?”

She can see him falter at mention of that name and she takes note of it.

“No… I do not recall us finding _anyone_ in the tower upon entering it. Just many unfamiliar relics and books.”

“A pity, I would have liked to reconnect, rekindle the old days. I have yet to find anyone quite like him.” Watching carefully, she sees him clench his fist, the one that appears made of the same crystal as the tower.

_Oh, Raha, what have you done to yourself?_

She let’s silence fall as they reach the base of the tower where he greets the guards and the enter. The place still gives her severe anxiety thinking about all that had happened here. There’s really only that one memory that is good of the first time he and her had…

She shakes her head, _No time to dwell on such things_ , and follows him up the many stairs until they reach a room with a pair of guards outside of it. He dismisses them with a gentle but firm tone and the acquiesce. Opening the doors, he bids her to follow and she does so. The first moment she can confirm that they are truly alone, she pins him in a corner demanding answers. 

“I can _smell you_. I know your scent. You cannot hide the truth from me.”

He visibly gulps. She can sense his fear and it hurts, but not as much as the game he has been playing with her since she’s arrived on the First, keeping her at arm’s length feeding her lies about what he knows of the tower, of himself. Never has she wanted him to fear her, but right now she’s confused. She doesn’t understand. He must explain himself. He must tell her why he does not wish for her to know his true name.

“Why do you hide who you are? Do you know how long I waited outside those gods damned doors? Do you know how long I had mourned your loss knowing that you yet lived, but never for me to see again?”

Her fury is taking over. She’s losing control. The years have been hard, she’s lost many friends. Those she thought she’d never see again, _him_ included and now here he is flesh and blood. For the most part at least. She wanted a happy reunion. Needs one.

Her arms are shaking as she does her best to hold back. She doesn’t want to hurt him, truly the opposite. She wants to hold him, be held. Feel safe and warm in his arms once more. She’s dreamt of such moments only to weep once morning comes and the dream breaks.

“Say it.” She’s begging. Tears stream down her face. “Please, tell me who you are.” The accursed hood he wears masks the eyes that would all but confirm his identity and she senses his hesitation to do as she asks. 

“I am nothing but an old man, worn by time and tragedy.” He’s looking down, avoiding her gaze. 

“Tell me your name. Not your title. I must hear it from your own lips.”

It's his turn to beg. “Do not make me do this. That man is not strong enough to do what must be done.”

“That man is stronger than this facade ever will be. We were strong. Together.” She’s full sobbing now, intentionally using his own words against him. “Tell. Me. Your. Name.”

She feels his chest heave as he takes a deep breath. He holds it for what feels like an eternity. Long enough she’s concerned he’ll pass out, but just as she’s about to release him just in case, he breathes out and finally looks up, crimson eyes meeting her emerald ones.

“G’raha Tia.” She can see he’s crying now too. “I am G’raha Tia, student of Baldesion.”

All tension in her muscles was released and she collapsed into his chest, grasping at his robes now instead. She can hear the clatter of the ornate staff drop to the ground and soon arms embrace her. 

“I’ve missed you, you fool.” She sobs into his chest. “How did you think you’d ever be able to hide yourself from me?”

He squeezes her gently, “I thought you’d have forgotten about me. Apparently, that was a foolish endeavor though.”

“For one so learned, you truly have the dumbest moments.” She sniffs in response and pulls back from his chest remaining in his arms. “Why would you hide from me?”

“I thought, if things go terribly wrong, it would be best if you didn’t know I was here. Because I’ll do whatever it takes to be sure that you make it through this, no matter what. I cannot stand the thought of continuing where you no longer are.”

She searches his eyes for a long moment before finally grasping the back of his head and pushing his lips to hers. He doesn’t resist and melts into the kiss. It starts tentatively but grows more frantic and frenzied. She yanks his hood down to thread her fingers in his hair. He still wears that same hairstyle from when they spent time together in the shadow of this tower’s twin on the Source. Pulling the tie that holds it in a braid, she frees his hair to fall to his shoulders. As she’s stroking through the fine strands of his greying hair, he turns them around, pinning her to the wall instead. 

They both gasp for air at the same time, chests heaving in sync. He rests his forehead on hers before whispering, “I’ve missed you. So much. You have no idea.”

She doesn’t respond, instead pulling him in for another kiss. She’s hungry for more and she knows he can tell. He lifts her up by her thighs and she wraps her legs around his waist just like she would back then. She’s preparing for more, to push further when they both hear the door to the Ocular open and he drops her. Hitting the ground with an undignified _oof_ , she sees him quickly whip the hood back up over his ears, masking most of his face once more when the guard captain, Lyna, makes her way in. 

Q’wynn knows they’ve been caught. She hasn’t been able to properly get herself up off the floor before the captain spotted her where she sat as if the state of G’raha’s robes weren’t enough of an indication of what had been interrupted. The Viis woman’s face grows bright red but she attempts to school her expression before addressing the two of them.

“I, uh, I came to check that you didn’t need anything from me, my lord. For you or your _esteemed_ guest.”

She watches as he turns to the woman, a perfect picture of poise and without a second thought responds. “Oh yes, can you be sure there is a suite available in the Pendants. The highest quality one available if you can. Tell them it’ll be needed for an undisclosed amount of time but that I’ll be sure to compensate the owners handsomely for their service.”

“Will that be all my lord?” Her eyes dart once more to Q’wynn who is doing all she can to control the blush that is assuredly spreading across her cheeks.

“Yes, I believe so. Thank you, Lyna.”

Lyna gives a salute with a short bow and leaves the room. Q’wynn, still on the floor, looks up to Raha, the _lord_ of this place apparently, with confusion.

“There’s much to explain and to be quite honest, I hadn’t anticipated you determining my true identity. I assumed you had forgotten about me.”

She’s dumbfounded. “Did you think I’d admit I loved you and then just readily forget you the moment you were out of my sight? I couldn’t forget about you if I tried and trust me, _I tried, I needed to_.” She sighs. “These last couple years have been complete and utter hell and I had no one to fall back on. I am not the same woman you left behind.”

“Trust me, Q’wynn, I’m not the same man.”

“Wynn,” she speaks quietly. Surprise crosses his face and she continues. “I never stopped giving you permission to use my given name. Please, I just... I need you. I’ve _always_ needed you. Don’t you still want me?”

He walks back to her, taking her in his arms. “I’ve always wanted you. I’ve missed you for so long, you have no idea.”

“Show me.” Her request is simple, but filled with implication and he leads her by hand to a side room, his bedroom she assumes where at long last, two will become one, once more. 

They are both slow to undress the other, her more because of her inability to fully comprehend just _how_ he assembles the damn finery he wears but she manages. She stares at his now bare body and traces where skin meets crystal. Daring not to ask yet, she shifts her hand downward to his arousal, already stiff and proud, ready and waiting. 

He’s quick to bring his attention to her breasts, one hand on each, massaging them gently as he kisses her neck along the marks he left there years ago. She moans at the touch she’s longed for and returns the favor bringing her own to his shoulder, nipping gently causing him to buck against her hand.

“Eager are you?” She teases him bringing the hand not occupied by his cock to his head to scratch the base of his ears like she knew drove him mad eliciting a growl out of the depths of his throat. 

“Don’t tease me, minx.” He scoops her up with ease and pins her to one of the walls nearby, much like before. “I’ve thought about such a day for so long but never in my wildest fantasies did I expect for them to become reality. Shall I recount for you such daydreams?” He doesn’t wait for an answer, instead continuing all the while grinding his hips against her. 

“I’ve always been partial to the bed, due to its small comforts but then again, the years have made me feral with need. Long nights wasted away sitting at the desk in this very room where all I can think about is fucking you as you’re bent against it.” He leans in to whisper in her ear. “Even this very spot where we stand, the wall holding you up against me as I fill you over and over. Sometimes I imagine there’d be fruits for our labors, finally I’d have found a family and you’d be the perfect mother to my children. The only one I could want.”

Her breath hitches at such thoughts and her core throbs with impatience and need. She feels empty and only he can fill the void. “Raha, please, I…”

“Oh, I know what you need, all in due time, but tell me, are you still mine?”

“I’m yours, forever and always. As long as I am able and you will have me.” She utters the same promise made from within this very tower and he smiles. “And are you mine in turn?”

“Of course, forever and always. As long as I am able and you will have me.”

Enthusiastically she pulls him in to her, pushing all the devotion and lust that had been pent up within for years and he responds in kind as he brings them to the bed in the center of the room. More graceful than their first time, she isn’t dropped and he leans over her, readying himself.

“Are you sure about this?”

“I’ve been sure for a long time.”

He guides his arousal along her slit, preparing her and him before he slowly, gently guides himself in. The sensation is incredible, something she’s longed for, and she moans in pleasure. He stays still, allowing herself to become accustomed to the sensation while massaging her right breast and teasing her nipple. Once sure that she’s ready, he begins slow and gentle, taking care and relishing in the feeling of their joining.

“Wynn, you’re amazing, incredible.” He mutters into her ear between thrusts. “How did I ever deserve your attention?”

She smiles. “You simply are my scholar.”

He growls at the endearment and bites her shoulder picking up pace while massaging her clit in small circles, causing her pleasure to coil within, waiting, needing release. “I love you so much, Wynn, you have no idea. I’ve missed you, I’ve needed you, I don’t know what I…” His voice cracks and she cups his cheek.

“I love you too, Raha.” 

She can feel him tensing, muscles preparing to fill her with his seed and she pushes against his hips in time, pushing faster, harder bringing them both to the edge until simultaneously, miraculously they both achieve ecstasy together. She’s breathing heavy, as is he, both panting in time before he finally pulls out and lies beside her.

“Please, tell me this is not a dream.” He finally speaks after a long period of silence.

Humming briefly, she responds, “I could say the same to you. Shall I pinch you to confirm?”

He finally laughs, that adorable laugh that she hasn’t heard in too long. “No, I think our _activities_ are enough confirmation.” He pulls her into his side and she happily tucks into him, her head resting on his chest.

“Please don’t leave me again, I don’t think I could bear it.” She finally whispers, drowsiness setting in.

He’s silent for a moment before promising, “I’ll never willingly leave you, Wynn. I love you.” He gets no response, other than her steady breathing against his skin and he sends a silent prayer to the light-masked heavens.

_This time, please, help me find a way to keep my promise._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to screech at me over here in the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! I promise it's filled with wonderful and kind people who will enable you and all your fanfiction needs / desires <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly shorter than normal but I hope you like it!

In this moment where he finally has everything he could want, G’raha feels nothing but regret. He should have pushed harder, been stronger. This’ll only hurt her more if it comes to him sacrificing himself as he had planned and confided in with Urianger. He ponders if it would be best to tell her this was a mistake, that he was wrong and that he no longer feels that way. His heart clenches at such ideas. He could never hurt her in that way. No, he’ll have to do all he can to ensure that won’t happen.

He looks down at his lost love, now returned. In the throes of passion, he hadn’t been lying when he said he’s dreamt of their reunion. He wants more than anything for them to be able to live a proper life together. One where they can travel without reason, even settle and have children if she were willing. He’d do anything for her, all she needs to do is ask. 

But for now? For now, he’ll live in the present. It is a gift after all. One he never thought would receive, not like this. Years--a century, truly--has made him realize that such wishes are not for him. He has one purpose left and that is to see this world saved, to save another as well. Save not just two worlds but one person that is needed to live, must be saved. Someone precious, someone who lays in his arms.

Sighing, he watches her breath steadily as she rests against his chest, still slightly flushed from their reunion. He allows himself this. If he must sacrifice everything in a future that he cannot have, he’ll take this as his own. But for now, there is much to do and so, he wakes her, Wynn, the Warrior of Light.

She’s slow to react, mind in a fog he assumes but soon enough, he hears his name on her lips. And, oh, does it bring joy to hear it once more. No one else on the First could even utter it, they are unaware and know him only as the Crystal Exarch, master of the Crystal Tower. But here she is, stomping on all normalcy that he has become accustomed to in his time preparing to change the future. Not only by knowing his name, but being in this very room, in his bed. There is no time for such things when one is in charge of the lives of so many. Or at least, that’s what he told himself. 

Proof of the contrary is easily found in the Guard Captain, Lyna. He made plenty of time for her. No, he’s kidding himself, he could never look at anyone else the same way he does at Wynn. She stirs, awareness finally taking hold and he squeezes her gently in greeting.

“I’m sorry, love, but there is much to be done. But first, allow me to show you the city. It’ll be a home away from home for awhile I believe.”

She hums slightly before rubbing her eyes and swings her legs over the edge of the bed before looking at her surroundings. 

“You really took this Allagan royalty thing to the next level, huh? How big of a bedroom do you need?” She laughs at his incredulous facial expression. “I tease, but wow, I didn’t get much of a chance to explore this place beyond what it took to…” She trails off, painful memories arise from the depths of her mind. She wipes an eye, removing the moisture gathering at its corner. “Sorry, it still hurts to think about.”

“Come, let’s get your mind off of such past events. Does a tour sound good? Or would you prefer to rest in your suite. It should be ready by now.”

She looks at him as he dresses himself, watching as he takes care to fasten each part of the ensemble before hoisting the hood back over his ears. “I think a walk would be nice. However, I was wondering. Why continue to wear the hood? I assume you only were intending a poor attempt to mask your identity.”

He laughs to himself, before looking her in the eyes. “To be honest, I’ve found the hood to have more benefits than my  _ poor attempt  _ to deceive you as you call it. Being this “Crystal Exarch” as they’ve come to calling me, I’ve had to act in a rather diplomatic position and you know how terrible I am at masking my emotions.”

She hums at that with a smile. “That I do. You were very incapable of hiding when something made you uncomfortable. Your ears always give you away.” She walks over to him and brings her hands to the aforementioned betrayers of emotion beneath his hood. “I love that about you. I always have and I missed it greatly.”

He grabs her by her wrists and pulls her hands out of his hood, before taking her chin in crystal hand and forcing her to look him in the eye. “I missed you too, Wynn. We have much to talk about but first, let’s look to happier things and tomorrow, we’ll discuss. Come, I believe there is a particular place you’d like here.”

Together, they stroll throughout the Crystarium. It hasn’t escaped his notice that she holds onto his arm with a vice-like grip as if he would disappear should she let go and he does nothing to stop it. This of course gets the pair weird looks as they move through town, stopping at various points that he considers necessary she becomes familiar with and others he knows she’d just enjoy. Soon though, he can tell that fatigue has set in. She’s yawning frequently as they continue their walk.

“Here, I have one more spot you’ll love and then we’ll get you to your bed.”

“There’s plenty of light out, I can stay up until night. If I’m gonna visit another world, I want to see its stars.” Confusion laces her tone and she doesn’t notice him stop in his tracks until his arm goes no further with her as she continues.

“Wynn, there is no night as you know it on the First. There hasn’t been a night sky in a century.” He sighs. “There is much to know but I think the answers are best found amongst your friends. Tomorrow, I’ll tell you what I know so you can find them. The situation here is dire and unfortunately, you, Warrior of Light, are the only one who can help.” He realizes his mistake too late though as he sees her hands clench at the title.

She looks at him, exasperated. “So you only brought me here because I am the Warrior of Light? You’re just like the rest! I trusted you.”

He’s quick to pull them to a side alley away from prying eyes, pinning her to the wall. “Do  _ not  _ accuse me of such things. If I could take your place I would but I am incapable in that regard. I do not make such promises stated earlier lightly or must I remind you just how truly devoted to you I am?” His breathing is heavy, anger bubbling just beneath the surface.  _ How can she not know?  _ He watches as her eyes search his before she finally looks down, ashamed.

“You’re right,” she speaks quietly, “I’m sorry.”

He’s quick to pull her into a hug, rubbing the back of her head. “No, I’m sorry. I know how much the title bothers you. You are more than just the Warrior of Light, Wynn. You’re so much more and if I could take your place I absolutely would, please know that.”

She only nods into his chest in response, so he lets her have her moment, massaging her scalp until she finally pulls away.

“I think I am ready to go to my room, if you don’t mind.”

He smiles gently, “Absolutely not. Let’s go.” This time he offers his arm for her to grab, all perceptions be damned. “I think you’d enjoy one of the finer things in life that the suites have to offer.”

“What is that?”

He leans to whisper in her ear, “Oh, only the most luxurious of bubble baths.”

She grins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to screech at me over here in the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! I promise it's filled with wonderful and kind people who will enable you and all your fanfiction needs / desires <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bathtime and feels. There's a time skip because you who have played through ShadowBringers know what's up anyway and rehashing it isn't fun for anyone involved <3

Wynn doesn’t know how she’s made it this far in life without learning the lavish luxury of being pampered in a bubble bath. Raha was quick to escort her to the suite he ordered for her. One much too large for how rarely she assumes she’ll be frequenting it in the coming days, but she appreciates the efforts. But _then_ he led her into the washroom which held the largest tub she’s ever seen and prepared the most titillating bath she’s ever encountered.

She watches as he scurries around the tub ensuring everything is perfect, checking the temperature periodically until he feels it is ready. At which point, he strides back to her side and slides her clothes off with gentle fingers before taking her hand and guiding her to and in the tub. The warmth of the water feels perfect on her skin and the scents he chose are soothing causing her to release a sigh as she relished in the comfort it brings.

She’s just settling in when she sees G’raha begin to head for the door. Hesitantly she speaks up, “Join me?”

He slowly turns back to face her, uncertainty in his eyes. “Is that what you wish?”

She looks at her reflection in the water, sees her own uncertainty, nervousness. Their relationship has been turned on its head by years apart and trust fractured on that fateful day. “I do not wish to be apart for longer than I already have been. I’ve felt alone for a very long time. But...” She meets his gaze. “If you prefer to be elsewhere, I understand.”

Crossing the room back to the side of the tub just a few short strides, he crouches beside her and begins to rub her shoulders. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

A soft smile breaks across Wynn’s face as she sighs contentedly at the calming touch of his hands on her muscles. She closes her eyes and enjoys the moment, attempting to release the strain of years past. Eventually, though, she realizes something and asks, “It’s been a few years for me, but…” She pauses. “Raha, how long since… that day?”

His clench in surprise, pinching her skin before he releases his grip, cool air left where they had been. “Very long…” He exhales a deep breath. “Too long.”

“How long exactly?”

He brings his arms over her shoulders, hugging her from behind. “Years I’ve been awake? A century. Total? Thrice that. They say that time makes the heart grow fonder and I dare say, they’re right.”

“But… how? You don’t seem any older than last I saw you.” She pauses to turn in the tub to face him. “Besides your hair of course.”

“You ask a lot of questions that I would have answered tomorrow.”

“I’ve always been curious. You know this.” She smiles, cupping his cheek, happy as he leans into her touch as he closes his eyes. She rubs his crystalline cheek. “I’ll await your answers until the morning for now I suppose. But, this tub is rather large for one person.”

He merely hums in response, leaning further into her palm.

“I believe a certain _Exarch_ could use a bath after earlier strenuous activity. Don’t you think?”

He opens his sanguine eyes at the use of his title. “I suppose if the _Warrior of Light_ insists, it must be so.”

This time the use of her own title gets a laugh, banter slowly coming back between the two of them. “Do you intend to join me fully clothed? Or do you need help undressing?” She smirks at him, eyebrows raised at the many layers of fabric that makes his royal outfit.

“I believe a certain woman struggled with such trappings earlier, it’s best I’m left to my own devices I think.” In one fluid motion, he unclasps something, somewhere and the entire ensemble falls to his feet leaving only the underclothes which are quickly stripped as well.

She averts her stare, attempting to mask her flushed cheeks as he joins her. Water splashes over the edge due to the additional displacement his presence causes but neither pay any mind. Once settled, he too sighs in relief at the feeling of the water on his skin before he spreads his arms as an invitation for her to sit with him, or more precisely, on him. 

She accepts, shifting over to his lap attempting to preserve as much water in the tub as possible. When she’s close enough, he pulls her into his chest breathing in her scent. In silence they sit, basking in the other’s presence, praying that things could go back to the way they were.

* * *

Wynn’s initial journey through the First was hard. She was tasked with finding each twin and learning of their efforts to assist the people of the realm. Both had heartbreaking tales to tell. Those who survived the initial flood of light had to learn how to survive in a world that worked harder than ever to harm them. Sineaters plagued the land, not only as monsters that posed a dangerous threat to those not behind city walls but also as those struck by them could be in turn transformed into such a beast themself.

When Q’wynn arrived back to the Crystarium, Alisaee in tow after already having found Alphinaud. The pair immediately headed to the Ocular to update G’-- the Exarch-- of what she had discovered. She held herself together for the joint meeting where Alisaie updated him on her adventures as well and only when Alisaie left the room did Wynn finally open the floodgates.

“I never…” She attempts to gather her thoughts through the storm of emotions flooding her mind. “I’ve never seen anything so horrible than how the people are treated in Eulmore and the effect of the sineaters on the populace.”

“I unde…”

“You _cannot_ understand as you hide in your tower. I saw someone who I befriended in the short time I knew her get struck down by a monstrous beast and transformed into one herself before me. I could do _nothing._ You said this world needed the Warrior of Light, needed me, but what this world needs is a twelves-damned miracle.”

He’s silent as she continues, gripping his staff tightly forcing it to take the majority of his weight.

“And before that, before I even saw that. There was this supposed paradise. One where people longed to go, to be safe. But in that paradise, it was truly a nightmare. If you were not nobility or of wealth, you were nothing. If you did not serve a purpose, you were left to die.” She’s begun to pace, back and forth. Her voice growing louder, surely alerting the guards just outside the doors. 

“Their _leader_ , what a coward, I found sitting on his lavish throne surrounded by the foul beasts himself. He called someone before him to take judgement for their crime and he ordered they throw themselves off the peak of the city. He granted a death sentence in response for lying in an attempt to simply find a better, safer home. An execution. That man is no leader, he is a tyrant and yet no one does anything to remove him.”

She stops and silence falls upon the room. Her chest heaves from the expended effort of her rant until she falls to her knees and finally cries. “What am I supposed to do? This is too much for one to bear. I’m the Warrior of Light and now I’m supposed to combat the very thing I champion? I’m not as strong as I had been. Years have worn me down, my edges made dull by the waters of time. I fear you’ve made a mistake calling me here.”

He finally walks over to her side, kneels next to her and gingerly places his staff on the ground before pulling her into his arms and stroking her hair. She hides her face in the fabric of his robes, clenching it as she quietly shakes. “If I didn’t think you could do something here, I wouldn’t have brought you. This land is dangerous and I would hate to lose you to it. But…” 

He loosely grips her chin and pulls her gaze to his own. “I have reason to believe you can. Besides, I believe it was you who reminded me just earlier today that we are in fact, stronger together. I will _never_ allow harm befall you and together we will ensure this world’s safety. You will defeat the Lightwardens throughout the realm and I will offer as much assistance as I can offer in my old age.”

She smiles ever so slightly at his jab at himself. “All will be well. I know it's hard, I know you don’t completely trust me again. But please, trust that whenever there is something I _could do_ to save you. I will do it. Can you do that?”

Her eyes search his; emerald meeting ruby. He holds his breath as he waits for her response for what feels like a lifetime until finally, subtly she nods. Breath released, he pulls her in for a tight hug.

“I love you so much, Wynn. I will prove it to you, no matter what it takes.”

Their quiet moment is shattered as a guard bursts in the double doorways. They only stumble upon seeing the pair in tight embrace before regaining composure and performing the customary salute.

“My lord, there’s been an attack.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to screech at me over here in the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! I promise it's filled with wonderful and kind people who will enable you and all your fanfiction needs / desires <3


	14. Chapter 14

The first time the Crystal Exarch hears the Warrior of Light, now Darkness sing, he is saddened. What had previously been a warming and joyful sound to behold is now filled with sorrow. After the events of the day during which the first Lightwarden had been destroyed, night returns and the people of Lakeland are entranced with their newfound night sky, revealed once more. 

Originally, he had merely intended to check in on Q’wynn as she had been quick to leave the scene of her latest triumph, barely saying a word to anyone, the Scions included before disappearing from sight. However, when he arrived at the Pendants there was no answer at her door and when queried, the Manager of Suites informed him that she had left her room just a bit earlier. So off he went, to find her, to ensure her safety and well-being. 

She lies beneath the starry skies that she alone brought back at the top of the observation tower that he himself had also found comforting to visit after long days. The scene before him is heartbreaking in its contrast to the one that was centuries ago in his memory. He slowly walks up behind her rather than hiding like he had way back then.

“You’ve only improved since I last heard you sing.”

She jumps at his voice, not realizing he had arrived. Turning, she faces him. “I haven’t actually sung much since then. Haven’t felt much reason to.” Her face is serious, almost sad. “But, I felt it only right to honor Tesleen with a goodbye. Even if there’s no grave to perform beside.” She turns away from him once more to look back to the stars. “I wish she would have been able to see this.”

“Is she who you mentioned?”

Wynn merely nods in response and he spies the tears that have begun to trace trails down her cheeks. He comes closer and sits next to her, legs hanging over the edge of the structure. “I’m sorry you lost a friend. I’ve lost quite a few myself over the years and it never gets easier but honoring her memory like you are right now is a wonderful and beautiful thing to do.” He pauses to look at the stars himself. “You’ve always been like that though, so it's no surprise you continue to be so. I’ve always admired that you’ve had this uncanny ability to do these little things to make living more enjoyable or bearable in this instance.”

She stays quiet as he speaks now looking down at her feet as they swing over the ledge. Her fingers clench the edge of the platform making her knuckles grow white from the tension in her muscles. “Q’wynn, there’s nothing you could have done for her. She was too far gone and ending her life was the biggest mercy you could have granted.”

A sob that must have been pent up inside bursts from her lips as he speaks and she holds her face in her palms. Sliding over, he puts an arm around her shoulders and she leans into his side while releasing the frustration and sorrow she had been attempting to conceal until she was alone. 

“I just…” She chokes down a sob. “I feel as if I should be able to do something, anything more. What’s the point of being the Warrior of Light if I can’t save those I care for, take their burdens so they don’t have to leave me. Perhaps Hydaelyn chose wrong. Perhaps someone else would have been better suited for this life.”

“You’ve become too used to people expecting the world from you, Wynn. You are a single person, no matter your gifts. You may be an extraordinary woman but that does not mean you can perform miracles.” He squeezes her gently against him. “You’ve done so much for Eorzea and now this world even in the short time since you have arrived. You’ve touched the lives of so many, improved them so much. There’s a lot of bad in the world, but do try to prevent it from blocking your vision of the good.”

She’s quiet in his arms, still shaking as she silently cries now. He rubs her arm letting her mourn into his chest and begins to sing the tune they had sung together in the shadow of the Crystal Tower in Mor Dhona. He hasn’t sung himself in quite a few years but he hopes that the effort is enough to calm her or even brighten her spirits at all. For a while, only his voice is carried on the night breeze but eventually, hers joins in, quiet and cracking from the strain her cries placed on her throat. They finish the song in unison and the sound fades back into the silence of the night.

“You remembered the song.” She whispers.

“I remember it all. I couldn’t forget it. Those were the happiest times of my life I believe.”

“They were mine as well.”

There is a brief pause before she speaks once more.

“Raha?”

He hums, asking her to proceed.

“Why do you still love me? Surely you could have found someone, anyone, in all this time.”

He sighs before looking down at her. “I could never get over what we had if I wanted to. Waking up to a world where you weren’t? That was my greatest nightmare and I’ve done all I can to ensure we can prevent it. You are irreplaceable to me Wynn. Even if you cannot trust my words yet.”

Quietly, she muses on his words before nodding. She lies down into his lap and grasps his robes. “I’m slowly beginning to believe it. I still love you too. Always have, even when it hurt so much, too much to bear. I was so lost...” Her words trail off into silence and he can feel her breathing grow even as she falls asleep from the strain of the day and her tears.

“I know Wynn. I was too.” He sits for a moment before picking her up in his arms and carrying her back to her suite in the Pendants. The Manager of Suites gives him a questioning look but he ignores it, carrying her to her room and carefully tucking her into her bed. Before leaving, he places a gentle kiss on her hairline, rubs her cheek, and leaves a note.

_ You are more valuable than you think, to many more than you may believe. Have heart, my hero, my inspiration, my love. _

* * *

Word travelled fast through the Crystarium and it was only compounded with the latest rumors of how their fearless leader, calm and proud, the Crystal Exarch has seemingly shown romantic interest in the beloved Warrior of Darkness. Of course, they would do all they could to encourage such things to flourish, the mysterious man behind the robe deserved happiness in all forms and if this was it, they would be sure to help push things along.

G’raha first notices this when he’s on his way to check on Wynn at the pendants and multiple citizens rush to speak to him on the welfare of their hero, a few even pushing gifts that they insist he tells the hero are from him. This is how he awkwardly arrives at her door with many pastries, a bouquet of flowers, and a “very nice” broom because according to the giver “everyone needs a good broom, hero or not”.

He was unsurprised by the confused facial expression Wynn greeted him with when she opened the door. After setting the items down he attempted an explanation.

“I believe…” He clears his throat. “I think rumors have started about us and well…” The floor is suddenly much easier to look at. “They have decided they need to help me…” He pauses forcing himself to look up. “...court you.”

She stares at him incredulously before after a painfully, pregnant pause she bursts into laughter. True laughter, the kind he hadn’t heard in too long. After recovering, she catches her breath. “They’re quite a bit late on that one aren’t they. I mean, we had consummated that relationship so long ago now.” She laughs again as his face reddens at the mention of such activities. “Come now, you can’t tell me you, an old man as you remind me frequently enough, are embarrassed at the mention of sex?”

“That’s not.” He coughs. “Now, I’m not embarrassed, just the thought of that’s what these people were thinking about when they…” 

She walks over and puts a finger to his lips to stop his stammering. “I’m teasing, Raha. It’s sweet that they care enough about you to try to help you in this romantic endeavor they’ve come up with.”

He’s quiet for a few moments before he speaks barely above a whisper. “Is it all in their imagination though? Am I wrong for hoping we can go back?” He looks into her eyes, bright green and full of life and she looks back into his that he has seen grow dull and tired over the years. His heart clenches at her silence until she suddenly makes a move and pulls his mouth to hers. 

Shock pulses through him, he knows they’ve been intimate since reuniting but since then things have been tense, unsure, and awkward. Soon though, he melts into it, pouring all of his longing and passion for her, only her into the kiss pulling her body flush with his. Too soon they part and he’s panting for breath but she speaks.

“Together, I don’t think there is anything we cannot overcome.” She smiles. “All we need is time to figure it out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to screech at me over here in the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! I promise it's filled with wonderful and kind people who will enable you and all your fanfiction needs / desires <3


	15. Chapter 15

G’raha frets the entire time she’s away, originally out on a mission to save Minfilia and now deep in the realm of the fae. All he can do is watch from afar, feeling useless. After his little stunt to distract Ran’jit, the group of Scions, Minfilia, and Wynn raced to Il Mheg to find Urianger and potentially the next Lightwarden. The time apart is hard but he knows it is a necessary evil. 

He spends the time busying himself, searching for something, anything that might lead him to an alternative to his current plan. One that doesn’t leave Wynn alone when all this is said and done. But alas, he has yet to. He’s almost tempted to create a way for them to enter the tower on the Source to wake him up just so she wouldn’t be when this version of him inevitably…

Shaking his head, he clears it of the thought. No, he won’t consider such a route until he’s absolutely sure such a thing would be necessary. The tower and its secrets still pose a great threat to the Source, especially without this centuries learned version of himself to ensure they do not fall into the wrong hands. Researching it is then, unending and relentless, he seeks an answer to this unsolvable riddle.

* * *

Across the realm, Q’wynn frets as well. Worried about the Scions and this child, Minfilia, who has one of the kindest hearts she’s ever witnessed. She spends her downtime in Il Mheg learning more about the girl, her life prior to being found by Thancred, her favorite food--freshly baked bread by the way--or her favorite color--unsurprisingly, a dark blue like she first saw in the night sky. 

Minfilia talks at length of how grateful she is to Thancred for helping her escape Eulmore but Wynn can sense how uncomfortable the girl feels at times around him. As if, she had done something wrong. Wynn knows that Thancred struggles in his parental role with the girl, conflicted between this Minfilia and the one they all knew on the Source. However, she hopes he can move past this conflict of mind that he’s stuck on. Minfilia appears to be a wonderful girl, full of merit all her own. 

She stares at the sky, now dark and speckled with stars, as she lies in the grass decorated by a rainbow of flowers. There is no change within her, at least that she can tell. Absorbing the aether of two lightwardens, while an incredible feat to the people of the First, has left her feeling relatively normal. She places a hand to her chest. Normal except for what feels extra weight pressing against her heart, she could swear it’s settled on her soul. 

Footsteps approach her and she turns knowing it's not who she wants to see most. Although, the person who does still brings a gentle smile to her face. “Don’t worry, Minfilia, I’m just stargazing.”

The girl sits down next to her, holding her knees to her chest. “I wasn’t worried, but the others were and they sent me to come check on you.”

“I see. Not worried enough to come on their own?” She sighs. “Sorry, I shouldn’t place the burden of my insecurities on you. I suppose you haven’t had much opportunity to stargaze in your life. Lie down with me, I’ll share what I know from the Source’s version of the night sky.”

Wynn doesn’t have to wait for an answer, the girl is quick to lie down beside her and so Wynn begins her explanation of the stars, their constellations, and their meaning. It doesn’t take long until her lecture is interrupted by the quiet snores of the younger girl. With a smile, the Warrior of Darkness picks her up and carries her back to their camp. Perhaps, she can let her heart begin to thaw.

* * *

He’s deep in thought, staring at his haphazardly written notes, when he hears the bells of the city chime with the return of the Warrior of Darkness, of Wynn. The whole town treats her arrival as a momentous occasion, insisting on welcoming her back with open arms and some amount of fanfare that he’s sure causes her cheeks to grow pink. Grabbing his staff, he too, makes his way to greet her and her companions. 

He has taken only a few steps past the doors to the tower when he’s accosted by the object of his thoughts, arms embracing him around his middle. The guards to the tower are staring, he can feel their gaze on his back but he brushes the odd feeling off using his free arm to hold her to him. 

“Far be it for me to complain at such open affection, but is something wrong?” 

She shakes her head into his shoulder where she’s tucked her face. “I found myself missing you. That is all.”

“And I, you.” Giving her one last squeeze, he pulls back just as their reunion is interrupted by a stranger.

“I see the acclaimed Crystal Exarch has finally found one worthy to satiate his physical needs and what exquisite taste you have. None other than the Crystarium’s beloved Warrior of Darkness is good enough to warm your bed, hmm?”

G’raha pulls her tight against him once more, a feeble attempt to hide her from the man’s scrutinizing gaze. Something feels wrong about him, something  _ dark _ . He can feel Wynn tense under his hold and out of the corner of his eye, he swears he sees her scowl.

“My apologies, I didn’t realize that we had such an  _ illustrious _ guest in our fair city. One with such a forked tongue would normally not miss my attention.” He addresses the mysterious brunette man dressed in what appears to be royal regalia.  _ Garlean _ , his mind fills in for him as his memory of centuries past becomes clearer. “Who do we have the pleasure of hosting on this fair day?”

The man with a shock of white hair in his bangs doesn’t immediately reply, instead looking intently at Wynn. It is as if he’s attempting to see her soul, his gaze is so intense. The Exarch feels a shock of possessiveness run down his spine and his fingers grip Wynn tighter forcing her to look at him in question.

“Ah, yes.” The taller man finally looks at the Exarch, peeling his gaze from Wynn. “My apologies. You see I am Emet-Selch.” With a flourish he runs his hand past his face revealing a magicked emblem and unsettling grin. “Ascian.”

The resulting, awkward meeting in the Ocular is vastly different than the one that G’raha had originally anticipated. Rather than focus on the journey through Il Mheg and where to look next, the group was distracted by this newcomer. The Ascian who supposedly extends his hand in peace to see if the group, or more specifically Wynn, are worthy of his time. This does not sit well with the Exarch and he broods about it over most of the gathering.

He tunes in for long enough to suggest they next seek out Y’shtola who had lost faith in him early on. Perhaps she would know of where to begin the search for the next Lightwarden in the Rak’tika Greatwood seeing as she took refuge amongst the Night’s Blessed there. With their next course planned out, it was agreed that after recuperating for a few days, they’d venture back out and slowly everyone shuffled out of the room. Well, almost everyone. 

The Ascian stayed behind, once more staring at Wynn with a gaze that made the Exarch uneasy and annoyed. Wynn seemed unaware of the scrutiny that she’s been placed under, lost in thought. Only the Ascian addressing her causes her to look his way.

“Hero?” He pauses, his golden eyes finally meeting her emerald. “Do try not to disappoint.” 

Before Wynn can respond, he snaps his fingers and disappears in purple aether. She makes an exasperated gesture with her hands before turning back to G’raha. 

“I’m already tired of that one.” She remarks. “You’d think he didn’t realize I have a name calling me hero all the time.” Examining his face, she queries, “Is something wrong? You seem… upset.”

He tries to school his features. “I’m not upset.” He huffs out, but she walks over to him, tugging the hood off his head, ears springing free now that the weight has disappeared from on top of them.

“The scowl on your face said otherwise before.”

“I just don’t like the way he looks at you.”

Laughter escapes her, the force of it causing her to bend over and brace herself on her knees. “Are you telling me that this old man, the illustrious  _ Crystal Exarch _ is jealous?” 

He flushes at the implication and feels his ears betray him as they tuck down against his head. “No. Not jealous. Anxious. He stared at you quite a bit and it didn’t sit well with me.”

Wynn hums as she strokes his cheek. “Still sound a bit jealous, but…” Pausing she pats his head before taking a step back, clasping her hands behind her back, rocking on the balls of her feet. “Have no fear, I’ve yet to take a sincere interest in Ascians. After all, I believe there’s someone else that’s captured my attention themselves.”

Ears perk up and his tail swishes under his robes. “Oh really, they are quite fortunate. Perhaps I should congratulate them.”

Shaking her head she laughs once more. “You really are a fool. I’m exhausted though, I think I’m going to turn in for the evening.”

She turns to make her way out and impulsively, without thinking, he stops her, grabbing her wrist. “Do you think, I mean, only if you’re comfortable.” He stumbles over his next words. “I’d like… no, I’d love it if you’d consider maybe staying here? Tonight?” A pause before he continues quieter. “With me?”

She turns and scans his face briefly before answering. “As you wish.” Offering a slight smile she takes a step closer to him. “On one condition, I need sleep. Real sleep. No shenanigans.”

“Of course, on my honor I swear, there will be no shenanigans to be had.”

“Well, then, I suppose that’s alright then.” She stretches her arms over her head with a big yawn. “I am quite tired though. Remind me where your bed is?”

He nods and takes her arm in his, guiding her through his chambers. Together, they prepare for bed in comfortable silence. Once they lie together, Wynn in his arms breathing a steady cadence, all he can think about is how for the first time in many years, he feels perfectly at home. 

And it is good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you are enjoying this story so far! Please feel free to screech at me over here in the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! I promise it's filled with wonderful and kind people who will enable you and all your fanfiction needs / desires <3


	16. Chapter 16

Q’wynn wakes up to the sound of quill on paper, an uncommon noise for her to hear upon rising for the day. The room is dim save for a single lamp burning on a desk where she sees Raha working on something while she had been sleeping. Her stirring makes her waking state known and he lifts his face to look at her.

“My apologies. I do not have to sleep much since attuning myself so thoroughly with the tower. I hope I did not wake you.”

Wynn considers this as she stretches her limbs, attempting to wring the sleep out of her muscles. “I probably would have woken soon regardless of the minimal noise you were making.” She flashes a goofy smile. “Early riser, that’s me.”

“I remember, do not worry.” He huffs a short laugh.

“And  _ I _ remember you not being one. I’m not entirely sure I believe that attuning yourself to the tower would cause your love affair with sleep to end.”

She gets no response beyond a quiet hum as he returns his attention to his work. Quietly, she grabs what clothes of hers are left on the ground and makes a mental note to  _ carefully and sneakily  _ return to her rooms to get a change without someone noticing her before walking over to his side to see what he’s working on. He sees her movements though and is quick to shuffle the papers away and begin to stand.

“I believe some breakfast is in order, shall we?” Extending an arm in her direction, he watches expectantly. She hesitates trying to figure out what exactly he’s hiding from her but her stomach grumbles loudly interrupting the thought. Laughing at the timing, he continues. “I believe that answers my question. Come, let’s get you fed.” Pulling her along with an arm wrapped around her waist, he leads the pair to his kitchenette. Her mind still consumed with questions of what it could be he’s attempting to conceal. She allows him to guide her to a chair while he makes his way to gather what he has decided is a proper morning meal.

While she watches and waits, she inquires. “What were you working so fervently on this morning?”

He stills for but a moment but quickly recovers before answering. “Merely some research on what our future actions should be so that we are best prepared when you return from the Greatwood. Since we don’t entirely know where each Lightwarden is, I was hoping to determine the most likely places to begin the search.” 

She hums a bit at his response, still unsure but doesn’t press. “How thoughtful and to think we would just wing it. I should have known better after that night where you presented me your notes on the tower in preparation for the Labyrinth I suppose.”

She sees his shoulders shake with the quiet chuckle he releases. “You remember that, do you? To be honest, originally that was meant to be an apology. I thought I had done something wrong when I saw you fleeing from the lake as soon as I had shown up.” He finally turns to face her holding some simple toast for the both of them. “Cid attempted to reassure me but still I worried until you showed up at the table without a care in the world. It must have been my imagination running rampant.”

Her cheeks flush at the memory and she can feel her ears give away her embarrassment. “I didn’t realize you had seen me that day. Rest assured you didn’t do anything wrong.” 

“What caused you to run so quick then?”

Looking at the floor, she’s quiet searching for how she wants to phrase it, still unsure she wants to admit such things.

“Wynn?” His voice pulls her from her thoughts.

“I just…” She’s wringing her hands and biting her lower lip. “I heard the noise you made when you got into the water and I…” She brings her hands to her face. “I might have had not-quite-innocent thoughts about it and…” She peeks through her fingers. “...you.”

He drops the toast in surprise. Eyes blown wide, he stands still for a moment before realizing their breakfast is now on the floor. Scrambling to clean up, he stammers his response. “I… I see.” Picking up each slice, he avoids her gaze. “Not that I’m upset… but… I just… I hadn’t even considered you’d felt that way at that point. Quite frankly, the next morning’s confession and kiss surprised me quite a bit.” 

He stands up straight after gathering the ruined meal. “Not that I’m displeased. It’s rather flattering I suppose in a way and it doesn’t really change anything now.” He places the food on the table before hugging Wynn from behind. “Nothing you do, could change how I feel and look back on the past. Let me make and _ not _ ruin our meal and then we can go about our day.”

She watches as he prepares and presents their food successfully, without issue and together they eat in relative yet companionable silence. Sipping her tea, she observes him pick at his food, barely eating anything seemingly lost in thought.

“Oh! Before I forget.” He looks up at her with a sheepish smile. “I’ve been informed that the people have decided to celebrate your victory in bringing back the night in Lakeland but wanted to wait for you to be able to participate in the festivities. I believe they’re planned for tomorrow night and I’ll apologize in advance for their overeager enthusiasm to show their appreciation.” He rubs the back of his head. “Especially as I think I’ve heard rumors that they are going to gift you special garb for the event. I don’t know much more than that unfortunately.”

“I don’t need to be celebrated to know they appreciate my efforts. They should enjoy themselves rather than focus on me. I’m nothing special, just a woman who holds a title.” She stirs her tea, staring into the almond-colored liquid at her reflection. 

She sighs. “Don’t think me ungrateful, I just don’t particularly enjoy being raised on a platform that I don’t feel I deserve. I’m an assassin with a special name. Warrior of Light or Darkness, the duty that comes with such titles requires that I kill someone or something and as much as I might dislike it, I’m very good at that.” 

“I wish you could see yourself as I see you, Wynn.” Looking up she meets his gaze and sees a sad smile adorn his face as he continues. “You think of yourself as a tool that doesn’t deserve the good things that have come your way. I see someone who has sacrificed much and more for people that she barely knows. You’ve done so many great and wonderful deeds all for the greater good without thought as to what the consequences could be for you.” 

“I…”

“You are celebrated because you selflessly throw yourself into each and every duty thrust upon you, willingly putting yourself into danger without considering your own safety. Your kindness and consideration are boundless. Wynn, you are so much more than a killer. You are a vessel of hope for people everywhere, for those who are incapable of doing your deeds. You are an inspiration to many and all you encounter.”

“How do you know these things with such certainty?”

“Because…” He takes a brief pause, considering. “This is how I feel about you Wynn. You are an inspiration, my inspiration. You give me the strength to continue forwards, keep looking to the future and work for a brighter one. These many years have been made bearable knowing that I am doing what you would do to save the world, both worlds.”

“You truly think so?”

“I know so, Wynn. I’ve felt such things since we first met.” He stands and makes his way to her side, kneeling at her side and turning her to face him. “You are so much more than you think you are.”

She stares into his sanguine eyes, searching for the lie in his words. But when she finds none, she leans in giving him a gentle kiss. “Thank you.”

“As long as I breathe, I’ll be here to remind you of your worth, Wynn.”

“Then I’ll have to ensure that you do for a very long time. I often need reassurance.” She laughs. “Thank you for the breakfast but I think I should probably get into a change of clothes before I’m caught leaving in the same ones as yesterday. Don’t need to further encourage the rumor mill.”

“Would it be so bad?” He whispers so quietly she’s not sure she heard right.

She hums in question.

“I just… Perhaps it's selfish, but would it be so bad for them to know there is something more?”

“I suppose not, I just… I don’t want to be celebrated as some sort of leader’s wife.” He sputters at that last word, but she continues. “I don’t need more titles than I already have.”

“I’m not ashamed if that’s what you think and to be honest, I’m still acclimating. There’s a lot to process. Perhaps, when this is all said and done we can be more  _ official _ .”

Considering her words, he’s quiet for a few moments. “I understand.” Standing up, he offers a hand to her. “Shall I escort you to your rooms then?” 

She takes his hand with a smile. “Of course.”

The walk to the Pendants is enjoyable and Wynn relishes in the sweet morning air. They talk idly about the sights as they make their way to her room, enjoying the time to focus on non-world-ending topics. She comments on her love of the purple foliage throughout Lakeland and how it contrasts with the tree she had been accustomed to in the Shroud all while Raha hums in agreement, smiling in her enthusiasm.

All too soon though, they’ve reached their destination and she bids him farewell before turning to enter her room. After shutting the door, she leans against it and releases a deep breath. When she opens her eyes, she notices a package on the table with a note on top of it. Curious, she makes her way over and reads the note.

_ To the Lady of the Crystarium, she who brought back the stars, we humbly offer this to wear at our Celebration of the Night festival tomorrow evening. We hope it is to your liking. _

Her brow furrows at the greeting before shaking her head and opening the box. A familiar color scheme greets her and as she holds up the garment she sighs. The people of the Crystarium have plans for her and their leader tomorrow it seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Join me at the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! It's a wonderful community for readers and writers alike! Hope to see you there <3


	17. Chapter 17

The Exarch finds himself suddenly bombarded with tasks regarding the upcoming festivities. Multiple different groups in the Crystarium demand his attention and thoughts on intricate details that he, personally, don’t think truly matter. He kindly does his duty all the while working through the problem of what exactly to do with all the light aether that Wynn is accumulating in the back of his mind. While he’d love to tell them all that he has many more important matters to attend to, he realizes that the happiness of these people who’ve only known blinding light for their entire lives deserve to celebrate the coming of the night as they see fit.

As such, he allows them to whisk him around the town where he helps decide on simple things like color schemes and food choices. 

“Should there be a dance?” He’s asked and before he can even answer another in the party responds. “Of course there should be.”

It's a whirlwind of excitement dampened down by the fact that he knows the work is far from over. His thoughts keep floating over to Wynn as well, making him distracted throughout the whole affair. Most times he gives generic nods and smiles in response to the questions he’s asked about harmless details, he realizes that perhaps he should have been paying more attention though when he inadvertently agrees to one detail.

“Perfect! The Warrior of Darkness and you will make a perfect pair to start the celebratory dance.”

He stops in his tracks. “I’m sorry, I must have misheard you. The Warrior of Darkness and who?”

“You, of course, my lord. You, too, have been working tirelessly and deserve a place of honor after all.”

“I’m not sure…” He barely begins to refuse when they interrupt him insisting that he must accept after all, who else is worthy to stand beside her and they quickly move the discussion on to other topics effectively ending the conversation.

This is how he finds himself standing behind some ridiculous curtain that has been put up to conceal his presence until he’s announced to start the event. He  _ knows _ something is up but isn’t exactly sure what’s going on. So he waits, impatient and nervous about whatever is going on. He trusts that the intentions are good but he also knows they’ve been pushing him and Wynn together ever since she’s arrived. He wishes things were different, where none of this was necessary so he could truly be with her as he most deeply desires.

Daydreams are interrupted though by a horn fanfare and someone tells him it's time to make his entrance. He smooths his robes while suppressing thoughts of how unnecessary all of this really is and with a gentle nudge he’s pushed past the curtain. Immediately, he sees her, the Warrior of Darkness. Wynn. The clothing the people picked out seem specifically designed to mark her as his. 

She awkwardly stands, rubbing one arm with her opposite hand in robes much like his own although sleeve and hoodless. They follow the same color scheme with flowing layered fabric adorned with decorative gilded chains. Her right arm has a golden armlet wrapped around her bicep balancing the asymmetry of the layered cloth that makes up the ensemble. When she notices his presence though, her face lights up. In unison they make their way to the other, meeting in the center of the plaza that has been made to be a makeshift dance floor for the festival.

He bows before her and offers his arm with an encouraging smile. “May I have this dance, milady?”

She cocks an eyebrow at his formality before tentatively nodding and taking his arm. As they touch, the music starts. A simple waltz and suddenly Wynn looks concerned.

“I’ve never danced in such a formal setting before.” She bites her lip in worry.

“You’ll be alright, just follow my lead.”

And so, he guides her gently in time with the music through steps in three-quarter time with the small orchestra that has been assembled for the night. At first, they keep a respectable distance from each other but as Wynn grows more comfortable with the movements, she creeps closer into his embrace which he welcomes. For a few moments, no words are exchanged until he finally breaks the silence between them.

“I see you received the people’s gift.”

She looks briefly down at her attire before meeting his gaze. “Yeah, they seem to have decided to claim me for you if you weren’t going to do it yourself.” She sighs. “As comfortable as it is, it still feels strange to be matched up without my input. I left my tribe to avoid these kinds of things in the first place.”

“I see.” He attempts to not let disappointment creep into his tone, but must have failed as she’s quick to add.

“It’s not you, I just…” She considers her words. “I’m tired of being thrust into roles without my input. First Warrior of Light, then Warrior of Darkness, and now… whatever this means to your people. I just need time I think. To figure out who I am again. I’ve fallen into being the people’s hero so utterly and completely since you left me.”

“I didn’t…”

“I know you had a reason. That doesn’t change how it felt.”

Lost for words, he stays silent. He feels her examining his expression and he’s trying to find words, any words, hopefully the right words to make amends to help her realize that he didn’t want to go away but she speaks once more.

“Unfortunately for me, time didn’t change how I felt either. How I still feel.” The music stops and so do they, standing surrounded by the people who orchestrated this event. “Raha, I do love you. Just… I need to heal. I need time.”

Cupping her cheek in hand, he finally has found words. “I’ll wait however long you need and do whatever you require me to in order to fix this.  _ You _ are my priority Wynn.” He feels her lean into his touch before pulling back. “Come, may I escort the lady to our table?”

She grins, forcing whatever negative feelings she had back down. “You may.”

Arm in arm, they walk together until they are directed to the correct spot to have their meal. Side by side, they enjoy the feast prepared in relative silence. He dares not press her for her thoughts knowing she’s already uncomfortable, already upset. So instead, he observes the people enjoying the festival that they planned. 

For the first time in a long time, people are laughing and thriving. Enjoying the moment with little fear. Taking a sip of the fine wine set before him, he chooses to indulge in the simple pleasures presented to him in the moment. 

He hums when the taste of the wine hits his tongue. “I see they spared no cost importing this from Kholusia. No small miracle considering our current precarious position with Eulmore.”

She snorts. “That’s one way to describe it based on what I’ve seen.”

“What would you call our relations, oh great diplomat?”

With a very serious look, she turns to him. “A disaster.” She bursts into laughter. “Full glad am I that they braved the disaster to supply it for tonight though. It’s been a long time since I’ve enjoyed things like this.” She sets her glass down. “Thank you for being kind and patient. And perhaps, we need to have a proper discussion of how I felt that day but I’m not ready yet.”

He doesn’t have to ask to know which day she’s talking about. “I…”

“Stop.” She interrupts. His eyes meet hers in confusion. “Stop apologizing. I know you had your reasons and they were valid. We just need to work through how those reasons made me feel. If you are patient, we’ll figure it out. We are stronger together after all. Isn’t that what you told me then?”

“Using my own words against me, how bold.” He teases with a gentle smile. “I believe I already told you, I’ll wait however long you need.”

Both sets of ears perk up as the music picks back up again and he hears Wynn begin to hum along to the melody. Standing up he extends his arm to her. “Shall we dance once more? Get lost in the moment and think back on happier times? Even if for only a few minutes.”

She takes his hand and smiles. “I think that might do me some good.”

Back on the dance floor, they move more in sync, fluidly as dance partners would. He holds her to his chest and she rests her head against him, eyes closed humming all the while. Enjoying the moment, he guides them around the floor in time with the music with practiced steps from being forced to come to such events for a century. They stay like this for many songs in a row until he feels her weight begin to grow heavy against him. 

“Wynn.” He whispers into her ear and he hears a quiet hum respond. “I think you’re falling asleep on your feet.”

“I don’t want to go to bed. I’m very comfy here.”

Chuckling, he hugs her gently. “That may be true, but everyone needs their rest. Come on, let me get you to your bed.”

Making a disapproving grunt, she allows him to lead her away from the festival, leaning against him the whole way. “Raha?”

“Wynn.”

“Please don’t leave me again.”

Squeezing her into his side, he’s quiet for a moment. “I’ll do whatever I can to ensure that doesn’t happen.”

“Good. You better.”

Before long, they stand before the door to her suite at the Pendants. He helps her in and to her bed where she allows him to seat her. 

“Have a good night, Wynn.” He strokes her cheek once more. “You are valued so much more than you realize. The real you, the one I see. Please remember that.”

Turning, he makes his way to the door but he feels a tug on his robes.

“I meant it. Please don’t leave me.” 

“Are you asking me to stay?”

Quietly, she nods. “If you can.”

He returns to her side. “For you Wynn, I’ll do anything.”

Releasing a large breath, her whole body shakes. “Thank you.”

And so, together, they ready for bed removing their outermost layers before crawling into the inn’s bed. She presses her body against his as he holds her in his arms stroking her hair as her breathing becomes steady with sleep. He really, truly hopes, that he can find a way to keep his promise to stay. If not for him, for her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This fic has truly become a labor of love <3
> 
> Please feel free to screech at me over here in the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! I promise it's filled with wonderful and kind people who will enable you and all your fanfiction needs / desires <3


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A certain Ascian stirs up trouble, intentionally or otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey, another chapter that caused me to cry. Sorry guys! <3

She doesn’t like being away. There’s not much she can do about it, but she doesn’t like it. Each time she leaves she fears she’ll once more return to a tower whose doors will not open for her. It doesn’t help that she knows he’s hiding something and she’s not sure what. She desperately wants to be able to trust him fully once more, but trust is hard to rebuild and it had been thoroughly shattered back on the Source. Only the tattered remains have brought her to give him a second chance.

Well, that and how she feels more complete when he’s around.

The journey to the Rak’tika Greatwood has been eventful; wild, much like the forest itself. Investigating the Ronkan ruins scattered throughout the area led to many adventures which only escalated with the arrival of Ran’jit. The bastard has done a good job following them wherever they go, making an already difficult task begin to feel impossible.

Q’wynn sighs. It truly didn’t help that she thought she lost someone today. Y’shtola, the selfless fool, took great risk jumping into the pit to toss her the antidote and uttering the forbidden spell to escape an untimely death. Only by the kindness of an Ascian, what a bizarre thought, did she return to Norvrandt from the lifestream relatively unharmed. Emet-Selch helped them, seemingly to no benefit to himself and she was puzzled. Grateful, but puzzled. 

Now, they only have to go to the Qitana Ravel and slay the Lightwarden they believe resides there. 

“If only I weren’t the Warrior of Light.” She mutters under her breath as she sits under the canopy of one of the towering trees of the wood. Sitting on the grass, she has her legs tucked to her chest as she seeks quiet and solitude from the rest of the group. 

“The vaunted hero flees from the company of her friends to find solace under the sky. My word, you could find this in a stereotypical book of legends.” Scowling, she senses the presence of the resident Ascian make his way towards her. She dares not make eye contact, instead keeping her gaze firmly on the heavens above her. “Now, now, I did you a favor today. Don’t you think you could believe that I truly do not mean you harm?”

Q’wynn huffs a sharp breath, but stays silent.

“You wound me, hero. Whatever must I do to gain a semblance of trust between us?”

The use of a title rather than her name pushes her over the edge. “For starters, you could acknowledge I have a name.”

“Oh! She speaks!” He sneers before letting his face fall back to a neutral expression. “I cannot be bothered to remember the names of all improper, partial beings…” Q’wynn opens her mouth to protest but he continues. “...however, I believe I can make an exception for you. Q’wynn wasn’t it?”

She nods, slightly. “Why?”

“You’ll have to be more specific, Q’wynn. There are lot of things you could ask me why about.”

“Why are you trying to be kind to me? Why use my name as I request? Why retrieve Y’shtola? None of it makes sense.” 

He hums briefly, golden eyes gazing at her with a scrutiny only he has given her. “Beyond the reasoning I’ve already given, I see more in you than the rest. You, for whom I only have the highest of hopes.”

“Great, another reason for people to set me apart from others.”

“You do not like the part you’ve been given in this play called life? Deal with it. Become stronger than it.” Emet-Selch states plainly. “Do not wallow in it, take the responsibility and prove your worth.”

Grunting, she shifts her position so her legs are now extended, back still against the large tree. “I know, I know. I should be happy, excited, proud of who I am. Eikon slayer, killer of primals, savior of nations. It just feels so unfair, I never asked for this.”

“Life is not fair, hero, trust me on this. I speak from experience.” His eyes grow dark and he turns away just as she attempts to make eye contact. “Besides there are bigger worries besides titles and feelings of little worth. You surely know the Exarch has larger machinations in motion, yet he does not tell you. The one he claims he trusts with the fate of this shard. I wonder why that might be?”

She grits her teeth and her right hand clenches into a fist. “I’m sure he has his reasons.” Forcing the words out through clenched teeth, she speaks after a brief moment of silence.

“Oh? You have so much faith in him. A man that hasn’t shown his face from beneath the hood to few and far between. I wonder what he’s hiding.”

“Well, he’s not hiding it from me. I’ve seen his true form.”

A scowl forms on the Ascian’s face. “I see, you’re smitten with the man. Is that why you so blindly follow his example? Allow him to lead you to what may be certain death? You must realize that he only sees you as a tool. A storage container for this excess light you are absorbing. At the very least I have hopes that you’ll be able to successfully do so. But does he? Or does he plan to rid the world of you and all that you hold in an effort to save this shard and the Source?”

“I trust him. He wouldn’t do that to me.”  _ Would he?  _ Her heart pounds as the man before her brings all of her insecurities to a boiling point. He couldn’t, he wouldn’t. She matters, right? He wouldn’t choose the world over her again, not like when he closed himself in the tower. They’d figure out an alternative this time. Surely, he knows she can do it, see the plan to fruition.

“You can tell me that, Q’wynn, but I know what lies within your soul. There is a lack of true trust and I only want to help you. I’d rather you face this path knowing the facts than be misled by a man who manipulates you with lies and half-truths.”

Trying to quell the storm within, she stays silent, tears threatening to drop from her eyes.

“Well, then, now that I’ve opened your eyes, I suppose I’ll take my leave but,” he looks back to her, eyes once more golden, “I truly do hope you succeed. Good luck tomorrow. You’ll need it.”

With a lazy wave and his back turned, he disappears into the aether and she is once more alone, shaking, crying. She does not return to the camp that night, instead keeping her company only the shroud of shade the tree provides her.

The seeds of doubt that Emet-Selch planted within her mind fester and grow, taking root, growing wild like the foliage throughout the Greatwood. They did not leave as she journeyed through the Qitana Ravel, nor when the Lightwarden was defeated. Light aether gathered before and into her only reminding her of the previous night’s discussions. The night sky returns and she looks at the stars. What once brought serenity, brings only sorrow. Will the death of the fifth and final Lightwarden also be the final time she sees them? Will she be swiftly removed from the picture once she succeeds in this task?

Quietly, she returns with the Scions to the Crystarium, allowing them to take the lead during the meeting with G--the Exarch. She does not speak, only nods when asked to confirm, eyes carefully analyzing the crystal flooring of the Ocular. The Scions are dismissed from the meeting and she turns to leave with them, but she’s stopped. Crystal hand gripping her flesh arm.

“Wynn, what’s wrong?”

The concern in his voice only hurts her more. Not daring to turn back she responds. “Nothing. Do not worry. I’ll be able to perform my duty.”

She hears him sigh. “I wasn’t asking about the Warrior of Darkness, I was asking about Wynn, my very dear friend.”

She bites a lip hard enough to draw blood before finally speaking. “What are you hiding from me? I know those papers you were working on the other day were not what you said. I can tell when you lie and it hurts each time. The Ascian merely confirmed what I already knew.”

The grip on her arm tightens, almost painfully so. “I knew he was more trouble than he was worth. I implore you, do not listen to him, he…”

“No!” She wrests her arm out of his grip and turns to look him in the face. Taking in his shocked expression she continues. “He’s been more open with me about what is going on here than you have so far. There is no telling what exactly will happen once I absorb all the light aether within each lightwarden so what will become of me? Y’shtola didn’t even recognize me because of the corruption I’ve experienced thus far.” She chokes back a sob. “What are you planning?”

“There’s nothing to be concerned about Wynn, please, believe me.” He attempts to close the gap between them, but she sidesteps putting more distance than they had started with.

“Will I turn? Is the corruption of five Lightwardens too much for a single soul? You’ll have to kill me won’t you? Find a way to kill me and contain the light elsewhere? I’m only here to bring back the night and then the final little detail is how to remove the stain of light permanently.”

She can see that each pointed question pains him, his ears flat against his head, he reaches out once more, beckoning, imploring her to make physical contact. “Wynn, never… I could never do that to you.”

“Really?” Her anger at the secrets boils over. “You’ve already chosen the world over me once before. What’s stopping you this time?”

His arms drop to his sides and the silence is deafening between them. “I regretted that from the moment the doors closed. Truly, if I could have chosen another path I would have but…”

“But the risk of Allagan technology was too great for the world. That’s the root of the problem, your sense of morals places the world on a higher pedestal than me. Can I truly blame you? No. But does it hurt? Yes, a lot. Too much. Loving you hurts, Exarch.” She gives up fighting back the tears, letting them flow freely. “When you decide I’m worthy of no longer being kept in the dark, we can talk.”

With that, she leaves the Ocular, doors shutting with a thud as loud as that of her beating heart. The most heart-breaking noise though is the unmistakable clatter of a metal staff hitting the crystal floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to screech at me over here in the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! I promise it's filled with wonderful and kind people who will enable you and all your fanfiction needs / desires <3


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final climb.

They don’t speak, not really for the rest of the journey. The Crystal Exarch has never felt such heart-wrenching pain since waking up on the Source to a world where Q’wynn had died, fallen victim to a terrible weapon of war. So he watches from afar as she regresses into the Warrior she became after he first left her on the Source. 

Their journey through Amh Araeng takes longer than he had hoped but they are successful in going through with Minfilia’s plan. It doesn’t take much longer and they have their sights set on the fourth Lightwarden’s lair. The mirror he uses to observe shows him the battle with the wretched thing cast in angelic form, Q’wynn darting around with a practiced finesse and unparalleled focus on her task. It falls quickly, representative of Q’wynn’s desire to see this through to the end as quickly as possible.

His heart stops though when he hears the deafening sound of a soul cracking under pressure and she falls to a knee. Heaving with deep breaths, she stays there while the Scions watch with concern until she gets back up indicating to them it's time to go. She leads them with as few words as possible, refusing to interact with most anyone. 

When the group returns, nothing has changed between the pair as he had allowed himself to hope. She stands in silence as they plan their next steps in storming Eulmore and eliminating the final threat. He truly believes they’ll succeed, he only needs to be able to get there in time to…

No time to dwell on that. He’s made his decision and with resolve, he continues to look to the future where he will do  _ everything in his power _ to ensure that she survives this timeline. So, he continues his vigil in front of the crystalline mirror. Refusing to rest, he observes their journey back to Kholusia and into Eulmore proper. She fights and finally overpowers Ran’jit and when they enter Vauthry’s throne room they all discover the truth. He wasn’t housing the Lightwarden, rather he was one.

The plan has gone awry, not terribly so, but enough that the end is not coming as soon as hoped. No, instead they now have to build a path to Vauthry’s safe haven in the sky on the peak of Mt. Gulg. He travelled far to be there amongst the heroes to be of assistance and is quickly grouped with Q’wynn to assist a dwarf lead them to a mine that holds materials needed to render the talos usable for their mission. The journey is awkward, if not only because of their recent argument but also by the comments the dwarf made about the pair. 

He attempts to keep the tone light, playing off of the young dwarf’s words but Q’wynn is having none of it. She stays stoic, silent the whole way, only performing her duty as asked and required. Nary a word is spoken as goodbye when he offers to lug the goods back to Amity. His heart hurts with each blank, emotionless stare she grants him. 

Not only is he emotionally drained, his body becomes physically drained much quicker due to the distance between him and the tower. The toll it takes on him is great but he refuses to not be there in Q’wynn’s hour of greatest need. Not this time. So upon returning to the small village he announces he will be taking a brief break and makes his way to a quiet cliffside for a moment of respite.

He hadn’t anticipated Q’wynn herself arriving to check on him.

“I should have known you’d be out in the middle of nowhere. Centuries have passed and nothing much has changed.”

He doesn’t dare look at her. “I merely needed a moment to myself. No need to worry yourself about this old man.”

He hears her snort in response but she doesn’t move closer or away. “No matter what I do, I do not think I’ll be able to stop worrying. Another burden I must bear it seems.”

“Perhaps soon, you won’t have to.” He mutters under his breath, he cannot stop himself before he realizes what he’s said out loud. He hears her whip her head to look at him, her stare--perhaps even glare--burning into him, into his soul.

“Don’t you dare.” She spits out. “Don’t ever insinuate that I’d rather have you gone.”

Pursing his lips, he stays silent for a moment. The tension is thick between them and he wonders when it’ll finally snap, if he’ll finally feel relief.  _ Will I even survive that long? _

“W- I mean, Q’wynn, what if the only way for one of us to get through this is for the other to die?”

“I refuse to believe that’s the only way. I’ll do it. I’ll contain the light and no one will have to die.” She sighs. “And if someone must, let it be me. I’m tired, Raha, I’m so tired.”

“You have much to live for, Q’wynn. Please remember that.”

“Why do you insist on the formality Raha? I never told you to stop calling me Wynn.”

“You made it apparent you want nothing to do with me, Q’wynn.”

She sighs, making her way next to him and sits down, legs pulled to her chest with arms wrapped around them tight. “I’m sick of the secrets Raha. You’re hiding things from me and I’m tired of everyone doing that thinking they’re making the burden of being the hero easier by it.”

He opens his mouth to speak, but before words get out he thinks better of it. Instead staying silent as they both look to the horizon. 

“Why won’t you tell me?”

“Wynn, I can’t. Please, try to trust that I do this for your benefit.”

She doesn’t move, eyes glazed over as they reflect the primordial light that curses the land still. “That’s what they all tell me. I suppose we have nothing more to say. I’ll be sure to report that you are well and will return soon. We begin the climb shortly.”

With a curt nod, she takes her leave once more leaving him alone. In solitude, he gently weeps for a future that he will not see, one in which he swears to it, she will live.

* * *

The climb to the peak of Mt. Gulg is long and filled with sin eaters of various sizes and threats, new and old forms alike. The Warrior of Darkness cuts through them with ease, never betraying the pain she feels from containing the light collected thus far. Each threat is larger than the last and he watches in fear that she’ll slip up and fall before she can absorb the final vestige of light. But much like in Syrcus Tower all those years ago, she succeeds, vanquishing the foe without trouble, seemingly effortlessly. 

The final trial is upon her though and he watches with bated breath. Vauthry was enough of a threat on his own but upon transformation into this beast, into  _ Innocence _ , a wretchedly false facsimile of the meaning of the word, he poses an even greater threat. That man is not innocent, let alone innocence incarnate. And so, the Warrior of Light and Darkness strikes him and his lies down. The world stills as he takes his final breaths before dissipating into pure aether and when she absorbs it all, it seems as if she might truly be able to contain it.

She turns to the group, joyous. “I’ve done it.” Breathing heavily, she pauses. “I’ve beaten the wretched light. No need to worry g--” In horror, he watches as she falls to her knees, spitting up the aether within as it stains her lips white.

It’s now or never, this is it. His final shining moment. Stepping forward, he casts the spell to save her. To save his love. To save Wynn.

He begins the speech he’s been practicing for years now, the one originally intended to continue the charade of being an unknown, a stranger to all except Urianger who was entrusted with his secret. She can barely look at him through the pain but the spell takes so much time, there’s so much aether. Wind whips around them as he keeps pushing the magicks and pulling the aether from her. His speech is too short though and the noise of howling winds is too harsh and so, he speaks from the heart, one last time.

“Wynn, I’ve searched for so long to find an answer to this puzzle. One where we could finally be together as I’ve seen in dreams but fate it seems has different ideas. I cannot bear to wake up in a world without you. Not a second time. So if it is to be my duty to ensure you live, I’ll gladly see it through. And… I suppose, if this is my last chance to say it.” He takes a deep breath before pressing into the final bit of the spell. “Wynn, I lo---”

A crack silences the spell, ringing through the air and his world goes dark. Gravity takes hold and his staff clatters to the ground. The last thing he hears before losing consciousness is hysterical sobs screaming his true name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to screech at me over here in the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! I promise it's filled with wonderful and kind people who will enable you and all your fanfiction needs / desires <3


	20. Chapter 20

Her heart is breaking all over again. Despite her suspicions, she never actually thought he’d go this far. Not after all the promises of never leaving her again. But then the fool continues his speech.

“And… I suppose, if this is my last chance to say it.”

_ No, no, no, no, no! _ She’s screaming internally, unable to utter a word through the pain of the aether corrupting her being.

“Wynn, I lo--”

Just as her heart shatters, so too does the spell between them. A gunshot crackles through the air and the sentiment remains unspoken, hanging in the space between them. She watches in horror as falls to the ground, motionless. The clatter of his staff as it hits the ground is repeated just as she heard it days ago in the Ocular.

Her voice rips through her throat as she shouts his name, pleading, praying that he’ll respond, that he’s alright.  _ I didn’t mean it, please, not like this. Please don’t leave me. _

“A sentimental fool. One I should have known was not of the First. All signs pointed to him being from the Source, for who else but one who holds the blood of Allag could so thoroughly control the tower?” The Ascian walks towards G’raha, toeing at him gently but G’raha does not stir. “And you.” His gaze shifts to Q’wynn. “You for whom I only held the highest of hopes; what a disappointment you turned out to be.”

She tries to stand, but is too weak, the light aether overcoming her willpower. Again she spits up more corruption, staining the tiles beneath her.

“A pity, I truly thought that perhaps you would surprise me. That perhaps we could work together. No matter, you have failed and our plans will continue. However, I do have some use for this one.” He looks back to the Exarch before snapping his fingers, whisking him away in a pool of dark aether. He turns to leave but speaks once more, back turned to the Warrior of Darkness.

“Come meet me in the Tempest if you’d like to finish your transformation in peace. Give your friends here some time to flee from the beast you become.” With a lazy wave of his hand in goodbye, he too disappears and leaves the adventurers alone. Staring in disbelief at how this all could have gone so, so wrong, Wynn’s resolve is shattered and the darkness overtakes her.

The next time she awakens, she’s in the Crystarium and she’s never felt so alone.

The turmoil inside is a raging storm of anger, sadness, and pain. Anger at being kept in the dark, sorrow that he’s just  _ gone _ , pain from the same and the corruption that threatens to turn her against her allies and those she loves. Ryne, the ray of sunshine she is, does her best to help stabilize her but there’s naught much that can be done.

After short deliberation, she and the Scions make their way to the Tempest to find the Ascian’s lair. Each step is painful, physically and mentally. On the back of a primal they are carted to the depths of the sea and led by the Ondo, they find their destination. A city, large and magnificent, completely new yet familiar. Something twinges in Wynn’s core, but she cannot dwell on it. There’s much to be done, too much. There are things she can ill afford to lose.

All while finding answers, she also finds questions. One of the shades,  _ Hytholodaeus _ , who inhabits the city recognizes her and to an even greater surprise, can see Ardbert stating that they have souls of the same color. Another puzzle that she has no time to solve; the remainder of her life is too short, the list of things need doing is too long. 

Finally, the Ascian appears bidding them to relive the final days of this city, the one they stand in being a recreation. Beckoning them forward, they follow for where else do they have to go? He leads them into a nightmare; civilians being struck down by creatures borne from fear itself. They press forward, slaying all that cross their path. The city falls, buildings crumble, fires burn all while they continue until they reach the end where they are met with the greatest of the beasts. Eventually it too falls and while releasing heavy breaths, Wynn remains crouched as the Ascian approaches.

“You’ve arrived, I see. But very much worse for wear.” He tilts his head as he observes her. Taunts thrown at her and the Scions alike and one by one they all attempt to protect her. Her heart wrenches with each of their failures, their well-intentioned tries to stop Emet-Selch themselves, but it is not enough. Hope is lost, they have failed. 

She has failed.

_ I’ve failed them all. _

“If you could take one more step, could you do it? Could you save two worlds?”

The now familiar voice pulls her out of her misery, however briefly and she looks to the specter of the former Warrior of Light of the First. She purses her lips biting the insides. 

“What? By myself?” Tears fall down her face, her hope is shattered. What could she do now?

He gives a gentle smile before grabbing his axe and holding it out to her. “Nay, together. Take it, we fight as one.”

Nodding, she wraps her hand on his axe handle. “Together.” Light surges between the two and the weight of the aether within recedes. Strength surges through her and she rises once more.

Recognition flashes through the Ascian’s golden eyes. “It can’t be… It’s but a trick of the light. You are a broken husk and nothing more. How can you hope to stand against me alone?”

Doubt briefly flutters within but before she can respond, she hears a voice. His voice.

“We stand together!”

Emet-Selch turns to reveal the Exarch, G’raha, wounded yet alive, leaning heavily on his staff. Her heart leaps seeing him still alive. The Ascian is just as confused as she is though and the pair exchange words. In awe, she watches as Raha, this foolish man, casts his summoning spell, bringing allies to her side.

She closes her eyes and breathes in deeply without strain and when she opens her eyes they are filled with fierce determination. Pointing the axe at the Ascian she speaks. “I challenge you, Emet-Selch. Let’s finish this.”

“You still stand? Very well. May the victor write the history books. The loser to become the villain of the ages. But first…” Arms spread, he leans his head back with a feral grin. “Let us cast aside all shrouds and reveal our true selves.” 

He grows monstrous in size, large staff in hand and he slings spells at her with frightening might. Yet she perseveres, a newfound calm in the back of her mind as she focuses on the task at hand. There is no room for failure. There is too much at stake; things she cannot bear to lose. If this is to be her task so be it. She will embrace it. She’ll do what she must, become what she must to save those she loves, those she’s been charged to protect. She will do all she can to save two worlds.

For far too long she has resented her role in the world but if it gives her the power to save them,  _ him _ . She’ll do it. She’ll gladly bear the burden. She’ll embrace her position, her abilities if that’s what she needs to do to see this done, to see everyone safe back home. Renewed strength courses through her and she summons her trusty weapon to her side, her constant companion over the past few years.

_ G’raha’s bow.  _

Arrows fly through the air as she weaves musical notes to inspire her and the heroes summoned to her side. By their powers combined, they bring him to his knees only for him to transform once more with a fiendish shout.

“Behold, a sorcerer of eld!”

No longer resembling a man, Emet-Selch the Ascian, now Hades floats above them but her resolution does not break. She will not be shaken. The fight surges onwards and despite his best attempts, she does not fall. She refuses. Finally, the arena goes dark.

“I will not yield. If I were to surrender, what will become of us?”

Out of the shadows, the hulking beast surges towards her and she stands firm. Suddenly, Thancred bursts from behind her, white auracite in hand. He shatters it with his blade, hurling its shards into Hades and together, she and the Scions contain him, spearing his monstrous form with the crystal before she summons Ardbert’s axe once more and flings it into the core of the threat.

Silence falls and before her stands the Ascian as they knew him. A large hole in his chest. He sighs before giving a soft smile.

“Remember us. Remember that we once lived.”

Wynn doesn’t know what possesses her to accept, but she smiles in kind. “I will. What’s one more burden for the Warrior of Darkness to bear.”

His smile grows wider, almost genuine she would have herself believe before he dissipates into light just as the lightwardens before.

The Scions hesitantly walk up to her, check in on her, ensure that she’s safe from the aether that threatened to turn her just before the fight. But their worries and cautious celebrations are interrupted by a shy voice. 

“I believe I owe you all an apology. And you most especially.” Wynn turns to see G’raha walk up to them, robes tattered and torn, face bloodied. Silently, she closes the gap between them and stares into his sanguine eyes as he stares back into hers, lip trembling, tears threatening to fall.

A loud crack echoes around them as the flesh of her hand meets his cheek. 

“Never do something like this again! I couldn’t bear to lose you, you stupid fool.” Shouting, crying, she holds nothing back. “Don’t you know? Can’t you tell? I love you damn it! Trust in me so that I can trust in you.”

He stares at her in shock, his hand touching his cheek but before he can respond, she pulls him in her lips taking his own. She can feel his hesitation, his fear but soon it melts away as he reciprocates the desperation in the kiss. Breaking away, she holds his gaze. “Raha, please, by the Twelve. Never keep me in the dark again. Whatever happens, we go through it together. We are stronger together.”

Silence lies between them for a long while, too long. Wynn fears she said too much, pushed too far until he pulls her in for a tight hug.

“I promise, Wynn. Please let me prove it to you. No more lies, no more secrets.” He’s crying into her shoulder. “I do not think I could survive without you. I love you so much, Wynn, please.”

She smiles into his chest and gives him a squeeze. “I’m here, Raha, and I do not intend to leave your side. Let’s go home.” 

He sniffs once more, attempting to regain composure and looks at her once more, a cautious smile on his face. “Yes. Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh, wow, have we reached the end of this mountain of angst? lmao Thank you all for sticking with the fic this far! I didn't really imagine that it would be this long when I originally posted it as a one-shot and the Google Doc was titled "Character Study" lmao. Your continued support means so so much to me! <3
> 
> Please feel free to screech at me over here in the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! I promise it's filled with wonderful and kind people who will enable you and all your fanfiction needs / desires <3


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Self-indulgence. That is all.

“I swear by the Twelve Raha, you’re going to stay in bed if it’s the last thing I do!” Dragging the Exarch by his robes, she pulls him to his bed as he digs his heels into the glowing blue crystal flooring of his office, sandals scraping useless across the ground.

“I am a dignified leader of a nation and as such do not get days off. I’m fine, just let me work.”

“You were  _ shot _ and as such you will  _ rest. _ ” Frustration leaks into Wynn’s voice. After many days of fighting against his desire to  _ be awake at all times _ , she’s at her wits end. “You may be an Exarch but you still need rest to recuperate after recent events.”

He pouts like a child, arms crossed. “I could say the same for you, Warrior of Darkness.”

“That’s it.”

Before he can ask, his legs are swept up and he’s in her arms. His ears flatten to his skull when he sees the scowl on her face. “This is so humiliating.”

“Then perhaps you should have acted your age and gone to bed when told to instead of acting like a kit.”

She carries him through the halls until she reaches his room. Toeing the door open she enters and brings him to the bed where she gently lays him down. When he attempts to sit up, she pushes down on his chest and forces him to lie on the mattress.

“You will rest. Do not test me.” Grabbing the various blankets she tosses them over him haphazardly then pulls a chair nearby to sit and observe.

From beneath the blankets, he peers at her. Arms and legs crossed, back straight, she’s exuding an intimidating aura but he takes his chances with one final quip. “Do you plan to watch me sleep? I think I might actually rest if you joined me. Gods know you could use some as well.”

His hopes fall momentarily as her eyes narrow to a squint at his query but finally Q’wynn sighs, closing her eyes. “Promise you’ll rest if I join you? No shenanigans?”

He nods, lifting the covers to invite her in and with a roll of her eyes, she clambers to his side where he’s quick to wrap his arms around her, pulling her in tight. She feels him press his face into the back of her head, breathing deeply. The two lie in silence for a few moments before G’raha speaks, his voice distorted by his near unconscious state. 

“I missed this. I missed you.”

Wynn smiles gently at the sentiment. “And I you.” Soon, she follows his lead, the drowsiness she herself has been fighting finally winning. 

Days pass and the Crystarium bustles with excitement. Night restored once more, this time permanently as far as all can tell, and the people again feel the need to celebrate. Wynn chuckles when she hears. She cannot blame them after living in fear for so long but she still finds humor in just how enthusiastically they plan another festival in what feels like such a short time since the last one.

This time, she more willingly accepts their gifts, attempting to more graciously accept the kindness and live in the moment. Instead of providing her with a different dress, they gift her with various jewelry made of fine thin gold chains to accent it. When they plead with her to make a grand entrance with their Exarch she agrees. There are worse things than people seeing them as a pair after all. Especially as the Exarch himself is hesitant to let her leave his side even with all her nagging to get him to rest.

She’d be lying though if she said she didn’t also feel discomfort when he’s not nearby. 

Such things are necessary sometimes. For example when a leader of a nation has an important meeting with other representatives and a hero of the people is being dragged through event planning, it requires them to spend time apart. Q’wynn’s not entirely sure what makes  _ her _ qualified for this but she rolls with it, offering her opinion as requested. When unsure, she just arbitrarily chooses an option presented to her and hopes it’s good enough. She’s really only making simple, last-minute decisions as the festival is later in the evening after all. With great relief does she finally get released from this duty and with eager, but hopefully not too visibly eager steps, she makes her way back to the tower.

Back to him.

She climbs the many steps, what feels like an infinite amount, but eventually makes her way to the Ocular and more importantly the rooms they’ve begun to share since returning from the deep. She can hear him talking, using the Crystal Tower to project some sort of illusion to conduct his meetings, so she quietly creeps by until his voice fades and she finds herself in his study. Books are everywhere, on shelves, on the desk, stacked worryingly high on the floor.

Her fingers brush the cover of one book at the top of such a stack and she wanders about the room until she finds one that calls to her. It’s less of an intellectual decision and more of an instinctual one. She doesn’t truly expect to fully understand the contents of any of the tomes in this room, but she’s curious and there’s time to pass. Settling into what looks like a comfy corner of the floor, she opens it up and begins to read.

The book appears to hold Allagan census records. While learning about the various peoples that made up the empire over the course of its lifetime would interest some,  _ not naming names _ , it does a very good job putting Q’wynn to sleep. Drowsiness takes over after ten pages or so and her eyes drift closed. 

When she next opens them, she is not alone. Nor is she in the study she fell asleep in, rather in a bed, the master of the tower’s bed. She can feel a hand gently stroking her hair, while the owner hums quietly. Her head is in his lap while the rest of her carefully wrapped in the blankets. Rolling over she tucks her face into the fabric that covers his abdomen and with a deep breath takes in his scent.

“Must have been quite tired to fall asleep on the hard floor.” His voice pulls her from the drowsiness that remained.

“Event planning takes a lot out of someone. Especially when I have no clue what they were talking about most of the time.” Wynn grumbles into his stomach. “The whole time I just wanted to flee.”

A chuckle rumbles in his chest, gently shaking her. “Alas, it took me many years to get accustomed to such things.”

All the Exarch receives is a quiet hum in response as her tail flicks beneath the covers in contentment. They relax in companionable silence for a time, he continues to read while she enjoys his quiet music. His hand continues its ministrations, stroking and massaging her scalp eliciting purrs from her. She doesn’t see, but he smiles; happy at the simple joys he can grant her. Too soon, they are interrupted by a knock at the doors to the suite which open after G’raha permits entrance.

Shifting from her perhaps too familiar position, she gets up and the pair make their way to the entrance where Lyna stands waiting. She looks between the two, before clearing her throat.

“My Lord, I was asked to inform you and remind you that the festival shall begin soon. It is best that the both of you begin preparations.” She pauses before turning to Q’wynn. “Also, they’ve requested you return to your suite in the Pendants. A few of the citizens would love to help you get ready if you would so permit.”

Wynn looks to her partner who only offers an encouraging smile in return. After a moment, she looks to the Guard Captain. “I suppose that’d be alright. Are they waiting for me now?”

Lyna nods politely. “As for you, my Lord, I hope you know what you must do in preparation?”

“That I do. My thanks, Lyna.”

“My pleasure. Pleasant preparations and evening to you both.” With a final salute, she leaves the pair to their bidding.

Once they are alone again, Raha turns to Wynn, grabbing her hand with his own. “I suppose we must once more part ways. Until tonight...” He brings her hand to his lips and with a teasing smirk places a gentle kiss to the back of it. “Lady of the Crystarium.”

Blush spreads rapidly across her cheeks, “Of course, my Lord.”

One more gentle squeeze and he releases her. “Best be off then lest they become impatient.”

She nods once and flashes a smile. “See you tonight then.”

“I’ll count the minutes.”

She laughs as she walks away making her way to the Pendants. The weather is lovely and she looks to the setting sun, painting the sky in warm hues. Politely, she nods to each person that greets her on her journey. As much as she loves Eorzea, there is a certain quality to the Crystarium and even Norvrandt as a whole that has endeared her to it. She’ll miss it when her work is finished. There’s much she’ll miss.

Thoughts are interrupted as she approaches the entrance to the Pendants where a small army awaits her. The Warrior of Darkness will run into battle against foes larger than life but this? This terrifies her. Steeling her nerves, she approaches the crowd who are quick to take action, pushing her along to her suite that has been consumed by various stations set-up by different stylists.

Swept along from station to station at a dizzying pace, there’s not much time to assess what they are doing but she trusts them enough to not do anything unkind. Her hair is pulled, brushed, pulled back. They attempt to tame it and eventually succeed to her immense surprise. Eventually, all but two women leave the room and they assist her in getting the ensemble she wore to the last event on, ensuring that every part sits just right on her figure.

When happy with the results, the women bid her a good evening accompanied with knowing smiles as if they are in on a joke. Attempting to hide her confusion, Wynn wishes them the same as they walk out the door. Releasing a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding, she plops down in a chair near the large window in her room to stare at the sky. The sun is much lower and a hint of the moon peeks from behind the dying light.

A knock interrupts her sky gazing and she moves to answer it revealing none other than the Exarch himself. His sweeping gaze doesn’t escape her as it passes over her body, top down.

“Like what you see?” She teases with a toothy grin.

“Always. The view is always breathtaking if you’re in it.” He softly speaks reaching out to cup her cheek. She rests her head in his palm, closing her eyes. 

“You flatter me.”

“Is it working?”

She merely hums quietly and he chuckles shifting his hand to the back of her head, pulling her face closer to his.

“I merely speak the truth my eyes reveal to me, my dear.” He whispers against her lips before taking them with his own. The kiss is gentle, short and sweet; a quiet reminder of his devotion to her, a promise to remain so. 

Extending the crook of his arm for her to grab, he asks, “Shall we make our grand entrance?”

Accepting the offer, she nods. “Let’s.”

Before the festival is in sight, Wynn can hear the bustle of the crowd and she stiffens slightly in anticipation. G’raha senses her anxiety and squeezes her hand reassuringly. 

“It’ll be alright. We did this last time. Just follow my lead.”

Biting her lip, she allows him to guide him to their position where they are announced and the crowd is silenced. The small musical assembly picks up their instruments and after a quiet count by the conductor, the event starts.

Once more, the first song is a waltz and her feet find it easier this time to fall in step with the sway of the rhythm. He holds her close, their chests touching and his hand firm on the small of her back. Wynn feels her grip on his upper arm tighten.

“Relax, Wynn. You’re doing so well, the perfect picture of grace. Let yourself fall into the song like you had under the Mor Dhona sky all those years ago. It’s just you and I.”

She takes a deep breath and slowly exhales attempting to ground herself. Her ears focus on the music and her gaze is fixed on his eyes. 

“There you go.” He smiles and she feels his hand shift downwards, teasing her and his thumb pressing circles into her back. “You’d truly make a wonderful Empress. Kind, compassionate, you’d do anything for the good of your people. That’s all without saying that everyone would be jealous of your beauty.”

“Playing out fantasies in your mind, are you?”

“I’d like to make them reality.”

She blushes at the implication. “Flattering yourself I see, claiming you are an emperor.”

“One could argue that with the royal blood I possess, I am one.”

“One could argue that you’re a silly man.” Smiling at his exaggerated pout, she continues. “However, that is one of many reasons why I love you.”

His ears wiggle in glee and she feels him press her closer to him. “And I love you.” He leans in to whisper in her ear. “And, if the hero of two worlds permits it, I’d gladly show her just how much later tonight.”

Heat spreads in her core and if it were possible, she’s sure that her face grows redder. She licks her lips and then bites down on the lower. “Perhaps, if a certain leader can convince me before the end of the festivities, such a thing could be arranged.”

A growl escapes him causing his chest to rumble against her. “Challenge accepted.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to screech at me over here in the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! I promise it's filled with wonderful and kind people who will enable you and all your fanfiction needs / desires <3


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The results of Wynn's challenge to the Exarch.
> 
> There's smut. Just a warning.

Wynn isn’t entirely sure what possessed her to flirtatiously propose a challenge to G'raha during their shared dance but as he rubs one hand up her thigh during dinner she begins to regret it. The warmth she felt on the dance floor has become near unbearable, her body quivering as his fingers glide across her skin. Silently, she sends a prayer to the gods, any gods, all of them. Zodiark included if he’s going to help her make it through the night.

It’s impressive how casual he appears, eating his meal as if he weren’t bringing her to the edge, making her want to push him to the ground and take him right there. That’s not very dignified for either of them though so she musters all of her strength to resist his ministrations. She knows that Y’shtola knows something is up with that unimpressed smirk she sent their direction as she sipped her wine. She knows she’s losing this game of theirs and she must turn the tables.

Fortunately, the tableware should do the trick to start. As casually as she can, she lifts the spoon beside her plate and scoops some of the mashed popotos. Slowly, she makes a show of bringing the spoon to her mouth and suckles every bit of food off the spoon with quiet moans that she’s sure no one but he can hear over the thrum of conversation throughout the banquet. His ears perk and tilt, settling on the best angle to perceive the noise she’s making and upon realizing what it is, she sees him look her way ever so slightly.

With a pop, she removes the spoon from her mouth. “The food is delightful don’t you think, Exarch?” 

He releases an unintelligible noise at her question but he quickly recovers, clearing his throat. “Oh yes, the finest chefs of the Crystarium worked very hard to produce this feast. It’s only to be expected that it’s delicious.” Leaning on one hand, chin resting on closed fist, G’raha turns his attention solely on her, his sanguine gaze captivating her own. She feels his hand, already dangerously close to her sex, creep closer. Enticingly so.

_ Just a little more _ . The thought rushes to the forefront of her mind and she quickly tries to quash it. Instead, she crosses her legs and leans back in her chair pulling her body away from his roaming touch. Biting the inside of her lower lip, she quirks an eyebrow at him and crosses her arms. 

“Is the lady done with her meal? Perhaps we can continue our evening back on the dance floor?” He stands up and extends his hand in sync as he bows with flourish. Crimson eyes meet emerald and a cocky smirk forms on his face. “If that pleases milady?” 

Granting him her own smirk, she accepts his hand. “Who am I to deny the Exarch?” 

Allowing him to pull her from her seat, the pair walk arm in arm, parting the crowd effortlessly as heads turn to observe their movements. When they reach the makeshift ballroom floor, they face each other and the Exarch pulls her in tight, her chest firmly against his. She feels the hand that at first rested on her back slide down scandalously far.

“You know, with your little stunt at the table I’d think you want me to beat your little challenge.” The edges of his lips tilt upwards with the implication. “Perhaps the lady has her own secret desires as well?”

Wynn hums playfully looking at him with hooded eyes partially masking their virid hue. “A lady doesn’t just hand out her secrets to every man who asks. Once more, I request, you’ll have to convince me to share.”

He leans to her ear, breath tickling her skin. “And how should I do that my dear? Should I tell you of my plans? How I want to thoroughly fuck you against the wall of the Ocular? I desire to hear you scream my name in ecstasy begging for sweet release as my cock fills you.”

The hand on her ass pushes her hips against his where she can feel his hardening arousal press against her front. The heat at her core she was feeling earlier flares to life, stronger and pulsing with need. She feels her legs quiver but his hold on her keeps her upright. He chuckles before closing his lips around her earlobe, suckling gently and with a nip pulls back. It’s all she can do to not make a very loud and obvious noise of pleasure.

“Is the lady enjoying her evening thus far?” Casually, he looks away and up to the starry sky. “It’s quite beautiful don’t you think? Only made more so by the company I share.” Somehow through all of this, G’raha has managed to maintain some semblance of rhythm in their dance, preventing too many confused or scandalized looks at his actions. As he looks at the stars though, he begins to pull them to the side and away from the music.

“It is quite the beautiful evening.” Q’wynn admits between deep breaths attempting to maintain composure. “It’s wonderful to see the stars again. I can only imagine how it feels for those who had never done so until recently.”

“One of many things that people take for granted until they’re gone. One of many I have.” He looks pensieve for a second before shifting his attention to her once more. “But, I do believe this old man should retire for the night, unless I’ve beaten the challenge issued by the Warrior?”

“I suppose the noble knight has earned his just reward. Where would he like to receive it?”

“Follow me.” 

Grabbing her hand, he quickly pulls her along to the tower with a spring in his step she hasn’t seen in so long. She laughs at his antics as he leads the way up the many steps like they had climbed when they first entered the tower with NOAH. He waves his free arm and the doors to the Ocular swing open. As soon as the pair pass the threshold, they slam closed and he picks her by her ass, pinning her to the wall.

“Raha!” She squeals in surprise.

“Weren’t you listening, dear Wynn, when I said I’ve dreamt of such things? I intend to make those dreams reality.” He pauses looking her in the eyes. “If you wish, that is.”

“After all you’ve done this evening, it’d be my pleasure.” A devilish grin spreads across her face. “Take me, Exarch. Fuck me as you described. I’m yours.”

That’s all the permission he needs and his mouth descends to her neck biting hard enough to draw blood, marking her as his. As he suckles along her neckline, and his hands gently set her on the ground to disrobe her. He does so swiftly, as if he had crafted them himself and with a swift movement his own clothes fall to the ground. 

Her hands reach to his chest, tracing the edges where flesh meets crystal while his reach to her sides running down them featherlight until she’s once more suspended in air in his strong arms. Once secure, he reaches to her sex and he moans when his fingers become wet with her desire.

“Gods Wynn, all this for me?” He laughs breathily and her face flushes. “Good girl. If I had any say in it, your body would only react thusly to my touch.” His thumb finds her clit and begins to rub it gently causing her to quietly moan, trying to be quiet. 

“No need to be quiet, dear. It’s just you…” He pulls his hand away and guides his arousal towards her opening. “...and I. Sing for me, darling. I do so love to hear your voice.” With that request, he sheathes himself in one swift move and a bite of his lip. “By the Twelve, you feel so good, so perfect. You're mine. Repeat it.” He thrusts hard, quickly, setting a rigorous, desperate pace. 

"I'm yours, Raha, forever and always."

He hums in approval continuing his movements, pressing her against the gilded walls of the ocular. The thumb on her clit picks up the pace to match and her back arches pressing her chest into his. Her hips buck against him fighting his grip attempting to allow his thrusts to penetrate deeper. It doesn't take long for him to notice and he obliges. 

"The Warrior likes it rough? As she wishes." He punctuates his statement pressing into her further and smiles as she gasps, silencing her with his lips. He feels his peak arriving and chases it as fast as he can. Wynn is whimpering from his ministrations soon can no longer withhold her shriek of pleasure as she clenches around his member pushing him over the edge. Eyes closed, forehead resting against hers, he catches his breath only opening them after he feels her gently kiss him and pull back. 

“Did my lord enjoy his reward? Was it as you had dreamed?”

Silently, he half-chuckles with a smile and a quick kiss to her forehead. “I did. It was much and more. You are so much more.” Shifting her so her back is no longer on the cool wall of the room and instead carried bridal style, he brings them to his room where he gently helps her clean up and cups her cheek.

“I’ll show you that I can deserve you.”

Sleepily, she half-smiles. “You’re already doing so.”

He pulls her to his bed, gets under the sheets, and holds up the edge to invite her in. “Stay?”

“It’ll be my pleasure.”

And so, she scoots in beside him and he wraps them both up in his covers. Pulling her into his chest, he holds her tight as if she will disappear if he lets go. With a deep breath he takes in her scent. 

“I love you so much, Wynn.”

“I love you, too, Raha.”

Sending a silent prayer to the now star-filled heavens, he falls asleep.  _ Let us finally get to keep this one thing. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to screech at me over here in the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! I promise it's filled with wonderful and kind people who will enable you and all your fanfiction needs / desires <3


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations are had and feelings affirmed.

The next few days the Exarch spends his time researching and scouring for answers to restore the Scions to their bodies. They had made decent progress after convincing Beq Lugg to assist them in their endeavors but the answer still eludes their grasp. As such, he throws himself further into this task. The fault lies with him after all, he should be the one to correct it.

To top it off, Wynn has left on a mission to Eulmore at the behest of Dulia Chai and the lack of her presence weighs heavily upon him, distracts him really. His thoughts keep returning to the last time she was so far away and how she returned more distrustful than ever. He fears history will repeat itself. 

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he attempts to clear his mind. No, they’re in a much better place now and he’s doing all he can to prove trustworthy once more. He has nothing to hide. Even if he’d rather hide his contingency plan to return the Scions to the Source. The plan that with each passing moment appears to be more and more necessary. He sighs.  _ Please, don’t let it come to that. _

A quiet knock interrupts his studies and it’s followed by a familiar voice.

“My lord? Do you have a moment?” The guard captain Lyna queries behind closed doors.

“Yes, please, come in.”

He hears the heels of her boots thud against the crystal flooring as she makes her way to his study. A place she’s quite familiar with from visiting frequently since she was a small child. He doesn’t need to look up to know she now stands in the doorway, her arms crossed and leaning on the frame. It’s her favorite spot and the tower alerts him of all who enter and where they go. After completing his current thought in his notes, he looks up at her.

“What can I help you with, Captain?”

“I hoped to speak with you as a friend and not as an employee to their employer if that’s permissible.”

“You’re always welcome to speak your mind, Lyna. I thought you knew that by now.”

“Forgive me if I do attempt to maintain some semblance of a formal relationship between us for work.” She pauses and the silence in the air hangs steadily. A sigh escapes her lips and she continues. “What is your relationship with the Warrior of Darkness?”

Her eyes scrutinize him with their violet gaze, waiting for his response, voiced or otherwise. “I’d say we’re close but that’s all.”

Lyna scoffs at him. “It’s been clear since her arrival that you’ve known each other for much longer and your actions at the festival the other day did  _ not  _ go unnoticed.”

His cheeks betray them as the transition to a rose hue. “I’m not quite sure I know what you’re talking about. Perhaps you’re buying into the rumors of the townsfolk, seeing things that aren’t there.”

“Don’t insult me with such words. I’ve known you my whole life. I know what I saw. You would never have acted that way with just anyone. I want to be sure…”

She halts her words when he suddenly stands up, pushing the chair he had been sitting on back with startling force. His ears perk and eyes grow wide. “She’s back!” He mutters under his breath excitedly. 

Lyna watches, piecing the evidence before her together until finally it clicks. “Oh, I see. You love her.”

He makes indescribable noises as he sputters at her claim, mouth opening and closing like a gaping fish out of water. She quirks an eyebrow at his antics, letting him struggle for a short time before continuing. “Does she make you happy?”

Looking to the ground, he purses his lips. “More than anything.”

“Do you make her happy?”

She watches as he releases a long sigh. “I know I used to.”

“You don’t now?”

He finally looks up to her, holding her gaze. “I truly don’t know. A lot has happened since…”

Lyna walks closer, standing right in front of him with hands on her hips. “Have you given up?”

“What? I could never give up on her.”

“Then go to her and prove that you still love her, that you will do all you must to ensure her happiness. Love is worth fighting for. Do not let it slip through your fingers.” She smiles. “Or are you not the same man that told me to face my own fears when I was a youngling.” She watches with amusement as he stares at her in shock, once more lost for words. “Weren’t you listening? I said go!”

He shuffles at her order and heads to the door but stops to give her a smile over his shoulder. “Thanks, Lyna. You always were a smart one.” Her only response is to shake her head and give a pointed look to the exit. When he finally leaves the room, she huffs out a laugh.

“For one so smart, you really don’t understand many things.”

* * *

It had been an interesting few days to say the least. Q’wynn had worried there was actual trouble going on in Eulmore but it appears that it was mostly a miscommunication between Dulia and Chai-Nuzz. The state of affairs in that region of Eulmore seems to have greatly improved though under the leadership of their new mayor. 

That didn’t make the mini-adventure any less tiring. She had to travel all over Kholusia to ensure the safety of Chai-Nuzz and figure out just what he had been doing, but all’s well that ends well, so they say. She shakes her head bemusedly at the memory. The people of Norvrandt are in good hands now that the threat is gone. Their cultures will flourish without the ever-present threat of sin-eaters outside their settlements.

As much as it is nice to travel without a world-saving mission guiding her, she’s excited to go back to her home away from home in the Crystarium. She’s quickly learning that home is less a place, though, and more of a person. When her teleport ends and she arrives in the aetheryte plaza, she spends no time deciding where to go first, her feet have already decided. 

She hears people greet her as she makes her way towards the Dossal Gate and she responds in kind with a subtle nod and smile. The tower looms before her and unlike when she first arrived, angry and closed off, it brings her a sense of peace. The last few weeks have helped soothe her soul in regards to the events surrounding it. Now, with confidence she strides through its gates.

The gentle hum of the power the tower stores fills her ears as she begins her climb up the many steps. Soon though, the slap of sandals breaks up the smooth sounds and as she turns one of the many corners in the stairwell, she suddenly finds herself in G’raha’s arms. Stunned at first, her arms hang limply at her side before her mind catches up and she returns the embrace with a tight hug. 

“What’s brought this warm welcome on?”

“I missed you is all.” He breathes in deeply, taking in her scent. “I feel as though a part of me is missing when you’re not around.”

Q’wynn chuckles softly. “Well, hopefully we can prevent that from being a common occurance soon. Are you sure there’s nothing wrong?”

He leans back to look her in the eyes and cups her cheek. “I’m sure. All is well now that you’re by my side again.”

“You’re sentimental today.”

“Someone reminded me that I need to be more bold and take action to acquire that which I desire.”

“Oh?” With a teasing grin, she leans into his touch. “And what is it that you desire.”

“Is it not clear?” He leans in lips nearly touching hers. “You.” Closing the gap, he kisses her deeply, using the hand that was on her cheek to pull her in as close as possible. “Gods, Wynn, I’ll do whatever it takes to convince you to stay with me. To be mine.”

Smiling gently, she kisses him softly before responding. “Raha, I don’t think I could choose anyone else. I’m already yours. I was since we stood beneath the shadow of this very tower all those years ago. Few for me, many for you.”

“Even after…”

She hushes him before he can finish his sentence. “Even after everything. There is nothing worth doing that doesn’t require work. You… us… we are worth the effort. Now come on, don’t you want to hear the latest tales of adventure from your favorite hero in all the realm?” She grabs his hand and leads him back up the stairs from where he came. “You have to provide the tea though.”

He laughs as he follows behind her. “I’ll gladly hear your stories. Tea included. Please, vaunted hero, regale me of your escapades.”

“Of course,” she smiles back at him, “and soon perhaps, you’ll have your own to tell as well.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to screech at me over here in the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! I promise it's filled with wonderful and kind people who will enable you and all your fanfiction needs / desires <3


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Q'wynn is plagued with nightmares after Elidibus arrives on the First. G'raha learns some things that Wynn has been holding in.

A troubling turn of events have revealed themselves. After much work to convince the people of Norvrandt that the Warriors of Light that had been cursed for nearly a century for plunging the First into unending primordial light were in fact party to its salvation, Ardbert himself appeared. Or rather, the Ascian Elidibus using Ardbert’s form appeared. 

He’s not sure why, but G’raha can tell that this bothers Q’wynn. Bothers her much more than he expected it to. Her shock was plainly apparent when the warrior strode in revealing his nigh impossible presence but that feeling turned to horror when the Emissary revealed himself. To be honest, they’re all horrified. They had just removed one Ascian threat and near immediately another arrived. 

There was a difference to Wynn’s feelings on it though, a deeper sense of loss, of mourning. It was as if she were seeing a friend reappear after they had most certainly died. Quiet for much of the rest of the day, she didn’t leave his side as he talked with the Scions on their next steps. She only offered a subtle nod or shake of the head in response to questions aimed directly at her and he attempted to shield her from  _ whatever is going on _ by preventing such questions in the first place.

Now though, they lie in bed, her head on his chest breathing softly, gently in calm sleep. All the while, he tries to sort through his thoughts, to piece the information he has together to figure out just what is on her mind. He needs to know, has to figure it out. How else could he offer assistance without knowing the full picture?

The quandary before him is quite troubling. Q’wynn cares with her whole being but for her to have so deeply cared for a hero of the past would require more than to have heard tales of their exploits and revealing the truth to the masses. Or so he would think. He’s startled out of his thoughts though when Wynn begins to thrash about, quietly crying out someone’s name between apologies. 

“I’m so sorry. I killed you. I didn’t want to.”

He gently shakes her to no avail. “Wynn, wake up. You’re fine. No one is here.”

“I’ve killed so many. I didn’t want you to go too. Please,” She sobs, voice breaking in her nightmare-induced fervor. “Ardbert, don’t go.”

His hand recoils from her skin at mention of the Warrior of Light’s name and his heart clenches. What is going on? He watches for a moment as she continues to reach and fumble about for a hand that isn’t there. One that isn’t his. Soon his sense returns though and he continues his efforts to rouse her from the nightmare she’s been plunged into. _ Get a grip, you’re jealous over a century-dead man. _ He tries to ignore the echo of,  _ You’re also a centuries-old man _ .

With more vigor, he shakes Q’wynn, desperate, pleading, worry rushing over him, threatening to consume. “Wynn, wake up, please. You didn’t do anything. You couldn’t have done that to him. All that happened before your time.” She fights him, her strong arms pushing against his chest as he does all he can to wake her.

When that appears to not be possible, he changes tactics and pulls her into a tight embrace. Holding her in his lap as she cries, he strokes the back of her head whispering in her ear promises of better futures and the safety of those she cares for as he sways her back and forth. He’ll try anything to at least calm her state. 

He’s not sure if minutes or hours pass but eventually her cries quiet down and her movements slow to a stop. Sniffling, her eyes flutter open and search the room in confusion mixed with a hint of desperation. Finally though, she closes them and mutters under her breath. “Just a dream then.”

“Quite a vivid one, it would seem.” He allows his observation to hang in the air unanswered hoping she would elaborate without prompting. When it becomes apparent she will not by her silence and avoidant gaze, he asks directly. “Wynn, why were you calling out for Ardbert?”

She’s silent, staring at her hands as if seeing something not there. “I killed him, Raha. He’s gone never to return. Not even is he in the lifestream, I’ve erased him thoroughly, utterly, completely.” She brings her hands to her chest, clawing at it. 

“He’s here and I’m sure he’d be telling me about how it’s worth to see me saved, to see this world and the Source saved. But it feels so wrong to use someone’s life force, their very essence to achieve an end. Sure, mathematically it makes sense but what is the true value of a soul?

“And now he’s gone? Or is he? I don’t know. I don’t feel him anymore. He said we’d go together, we’d fight as one and I had hoped, prayed that it meant he’d still be here after…  _ Hades _ .” Tears fall wetting the sheets they fall on. “His blood is on my hands. I selfishly used him to save my own life when I should have been strong enough on my own.”

“Wynn, I don’t understand.”

“How could you?” Her hands clench into fists. “I’m no less sundered than the rest of you as Emet-Selch was so kind to remind us frequently. The difference? Another piece of my soul was here, watching and observing, trapped for a century. No one else has been confronted with another version of themselves, not like I have.

“Y’shtola wondered how I controlled the light? Ardbert saved me. His soul and mine shine,  _ shone _ , with the same color, hue, brightness. Hythlodaeus said as much, two shards of the same ancient being. I owe my life to him and yet, he is not here for me to repay my debt. He is gone as if dust on the wind, scattered never to be found again.”

“You saw him?”

“I had seen him since the first night I arrived.” Sighing, she hugs her legs to her chest as she moves out of G’raha’s lap. “His spirit was in my room at the pendants when I first settled in. He was as startled as I was having been wandering for a century without any interaction. But I could see him, I could hear him.”

“So, a ghost.”

“More than that. Minfilia, the first one… she told him he had a purpose yet and so when he died, his soul and essence were left behind to wander the First until he found it. He had lost hope, much like many of the people here and he was so skeptical of our plan the entire time.” Wynn chuckles lightly. 

“But then, at some point, he began to hope that even if he didn’t figure out his purpose, that perhaps the accursed light could be diminished, purged from the realm. Although, he did find his purpose.

“He stood beside me as I struggled against the thrashing aether tearing my soul apart. Watched as I persevered as I could and when he realized that only he could ensure our victory he lent his hand and I took it.

“G’raha, I absorbed him. He is in me. I am no longer just seven shards reunited but eight. More complete than I had been when I arrived. But in doing so, I’ve erased him. One more person that I’ve eliminated from the world.”

He sits in stunned silence at her explanation. Throughout her entire journey she had hidden this presence, Ardbert’s, the Warrior of Light of the first. Additionally she had concealed that she had found another fragment of her sundered soul.  _ She doesn’t trust me yet _ . He shakes his head in an attempt to push away the unhelpful thought. This is about her trauma though, not his insecurities.

“I might not have personally known Ardbert, but was there any moment during your travels and conversations with him that made you believe he desired anything beyond the safety of the First and its people?” He began an attempt to reason. “Everything I’ve heard about him and his comrades since we’ve learned their true tale is that they were selfless heroes that did all they could for others.

“As such, I think he’d be proud of the part he played even if that means you cannot see him anymore. Also, this existence of his you describe sounds like a half-life. I think perhaps, the portion of him that lives on through you is much happier being able to see the world as you do now.”

She bites her lower lip, gaze fixated on her open palms once more. “I still feel as though his blood is on my hands, along with the many before him.”

“Survivor’s guilt.” Finally, she meets his gaze, silently questioning him. He offers a gentle smile. “Wynn, there is no blood on your hands. Everything you’ve done is with everyone’s best interests at heart. You feel this way because you want,  _ need _ , to save everyone, but unfortunately that cannot happen all the time. Trust me, I’ve seen my fair share of comrades fall and it never gets easier.

“Let me help you wash your hands clean. You’ve done all you can and I know Ardbert and everyone else you still harbor guilt over knows this.” Sliding over to her side, he pulls her into his side. “Every action you have ever made that I have witnessed has been selfless in consideration of others. You are an inspiration Q’wynn and you are strong.”

He pauses a bit and she finally accepts the embrace leaning into him and rests her head on his shoulder. “This is why I love you so much, Wynn. You care with your entire being and that’s why these things are so hard for you. That’s why seeing your friend used to further a scheme he would be opposed to hurts so much. But, the best way to repay him is to ensure his efforts were not futile. To fight for those he loved. And you know what?”

She hums quietly, prompting him to continue. He squeezes her gently. “I’ll be here to fight with you along the way. We are strong together and you do not have to fight alone. Not anymore. I’m not that naive young man you met anymore.”

Laughing gently, she sniffs. “Nah, you’re a wise old man now. Isn’t that what you’re always telling me?”

A more genuine smile spreads on his face and he chuckles. “Definitely old, wise is a stretch though.”

She laughs harder now, shaking a bit in his embrace. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Being my strength when I have none.”

“Even the strongest of people need a reprieve from their burdens Wynn. I’ll always help you lighten the load.”

She surprises him when she turns to face him and cups his cheek with her right hand. “I love you, Raha. Thank you for being patient with me.”

“You are worth the wait. Have always been worth the wait.”

Staring into his sanguine eyes, her lips curve into a smile before capturing his with enthusiasm that pushes him onto his back. It’s short, yet sweet, perfect for the moment but a promise of a shared future. Afterwards she lies draped across him, her head on his chest once more like prior to the nightmares.

“You are worth it all as well. Please, never leave me.”

“Never, Wynn, you’re stuck with me.”

She laughs a bit. “You’re stuck with me as well.” Yawning, she curls up a bit and wraps her arm across him, holding him in a loose embrace. He lies in the dark, enjoying her presence and listens to her breathing as it once more slows to a steady sleepy pace. Once he’s sure she’s asleep, he strokes her hair and whispers into the dark.

“Never stuck with you, Wynn. You bless me with your presence and I love you for it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to screech at me over here in the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! I promise it's filled with wonderful and kind people who will enable you and all your fanfiction needs / desires <3


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Scions travel to Anamnesis Anyder. Wynn makes a new friend then has nightmares.
> 
> Nothing new for the Warrior of Light

Their paths keep leading them apart and Q’wynn dislikes it. She rests against one of the many rocks that reside on this shard’s Bismarck as he ferries them to the deep. The Scions that accompany her send concerned glances in her direction that she attempts to fend off with a disingenuous smile. It’s easier to pretend that it doesn’t pang her to be away from the Crystarium, the tower, him. A sense of foreboding has piqued her separation anxiety. Too many close calls have occurred, she cannot bear for his presence to be removed from her life permanently this time.

It truly does not help that his immense guilt over the status of the Scions has led to him believing that it’d be simpler to reverse the summons by simply removing him from the picture. A kinder way to state that he feels as though it is better that he dies for his perceived sins. Wynn felt a brief sense of pride when it was Alisaie that berated him for such thoughts. The Scions, it seems, have developed a soft spot for the man to which she is grateful. If she has her way, when this is all said and done, he’ll be a permanent fixture in her life and as such theirs.

The beast they ride on quakes as it slows for arrival and she pushes herself up from her resting spot. Before them lies an ancient facility slowly being devoured by the deep. Coral struts jut out from it while other ocean plant life have also taken root. Unsurprising, she supposes, considering just how long ago this building was created; a time before time by the people before all people. Taking a deep breath, she steels herself for whatever is inside as they search for clues as to Elidibus’ intentions.

Anamnesis Anyder is a much more run down building than the Akademia in Amaurot’s recreation. To be expected really considering it’s much more ancient and corporeal status. Q’wynn can’t help but admire the architecture the ancients favored with its intricate gilded designs inlaid in the flooring and large arched doors. The sheer scale of the building though is most likely in part to the size of the prehistoric beings that would have inhabited it if the shades of Amaurot are anything to go by. 

As expected, the building itself is not empty of foes attempting to bar their way. They give no quarter and Q’wynn returns the favor incapacitating them quickly. G’raha’s bow, despite its age and wear, serves her well and the assistance of the Scions is no small boon in this endeavor. Their skills gained while awaiting her arrival on the First are a blessing in such missions and their journey across Norvrandt has helped to remedy their fragile relationship with their Warrior of Light, finally building trust.

This can especially be seen in the faith she has in Alphinaud and Urianger to clear poisons and maladies that are inflicted upon her, in how she trusts Thancred to maintain the attention of the enemy as she, Alisaie, and Y’shtola rain their fury upon them. It feels more as if they are all working as a team now than during their escapades prior. Rather than she being sent in to deal with things alone, they go in together, stronger for it.

Truthfully though, their presence does not make up for the one missing and her heart yearns for. It’s a guilty feeling, really, as the Scions have begun to feel like a family to her now, but she cannot help what her heart wants. Burying such feelings deep, she looks forward as they progress until finally after multiple trials, they reach the archives and what they have come for.

However, this leads to a concerning discovery:  _ Elidibus is Zodiark’s heart. _

As was pointed out by her fellow Scions, their mission has become all the much more complicated. What are they dealing with? Elidibus is not a mere Ascian as they had anticipated. Her concern is only expounded by just how familiar the building felt; as if she had been there before.  _ Two concerning discoveries _ , she thinks,  _ Probably related to that shade recognizing Ardbert and I from… then. _

In a way, she can understand where the Ascians are coming from. They lost their home and are desperate to get it back at all costs. Wouldn’t she do the same? But now? There are so many lives at stake. Those that have yet to have a chance to make the most of it. Who are they to decide that those lives are meaningless in comparison? 

She grapples these notions on the way back from the Anyder, so heavily distracted by them that she doesn’t realize that she has walked her way from the Aetheryte plaza to the Dossal gate without a second thought. She’s about to stride right in when she hesitates and turns away, instead heading in the direction of the Pendants and her personal suite. She misses the questioning looks the guards send her way as she changes destination.

It’s a wonder she still has a personal quarters, if she’s honest. She hasn’t spent the night in it for a few weeks now instead opting to share quarters with the Exarch. But for now, she feels like she just needs a little bit of time to herself, to just attempt to relax and let these thoughts settle before allowing them to sully their time together.  _ He’s probably busy trying to determine how to get the Scions back to the Source anyhow. _

She opens the large door to her suite upon arriving and is greeted with the stare of a…

_ Shoebill? _

The large bird sits perched on the kitchenette table in her room, staring at her unblinkingly. She takes this as a challenge and stares right back, eyes wide open as long as she can until her eyes water and she’s forced to blink. The bird blinks slowly as soon as she does as if to rub it in that it has greater control over such reflexes.

She squints at it before walking until she stands right in front of it. Waving her arms, she attempts to spook it out but it is to no avail. The bird remains stoic, unmoving.

“Fine, you can stay. I respect you. But I’m always watching.” She points at the bird in warning before heading over to the wardrobe where she undresses and grabs one of the robes that are stored inside and slipping it on, the crisp air causing goose bumps on her now exposed skin. 

Moving to the washroom, she begins to fill the large tub she’s been supplied with adding her favorite scents; a combination of lavender and mint. Once satisfied with the water temperature, she slides in, takes a deep breath, and closes her eyes. Her mind is a fog that she tries to sift through, too many thoughts and worries surrounding the most recent incident. 

If Elidibus is truly the heart of Zodiark, it’s entirely possible that he will truly be too strong for her to overcome. She could very well fail all those that rely on her. Those she can ill afford to lose may very well be lost. Sinking deeper into the tub until her nose hovers just above the surface, she exhales sharply causing ripples across the water. 

_ There’s no sense thinking like this. You will do all you can, you must.  _

Finding a comfortable position, she reclines and attempts to relax her body and mind by repeatedly clenching and relaxing her hands until the tension is relieved. Soon, she sings an old song that used to bring comfort quietly, under her breath until she falls asleep in the tub and darkness takes her.

Her dreams are filled with fire and death. Much like the hell that Emet-Selch put them through before his final stand, a city crumbles and burns as citizens attempt to escape. All she can do is watch, horrified at what she witnesses as she is not truly there. She was never there. Was she? People needed her and she was not there for them and now…

Now?

They are gone.

Lost.

She falls to her knees, hands clenching and fingers digging into the rubble mixed with dirt. Her home is destroyed, now part of the dust beneath her feet. A sob is torn from her throat as it all hits her dream self and a sense of grief completely takes over. Her cries cause her body to shake violently and no one is around to hear them, to help her, to do anything to drown out the sorrow and so she succumbs to it.

That is until she hears a voice.

“Wynn?”

The concerned voice pierces through the veil of dreams and for a brief moment, she’s confused. That’s not her name. 

_ Is it? _

“Wynn, wake up!”

_ I’m not Wynn, I’m… _

“Please, Wynn. It’s just a nightmare.”

_ Who am I? _

“Wynn,” She feels her body shake, but this time not from the tears, “you’re okay. Please, you have to wake up.”

_ Wynn. Is that...? _

“Gods, this is not normal.” A sensation of being suspended in the air takes over now yet she cannot fully come to consciousness. “Wynn, what is going on? Please, answer me.”

_ Who… who is this? Whose voice? _

_ Don’t you know? _

_ How could I? _

_ You must remember. _

_ I must remember. I am… _

_ I am… _

_ Q’wynn _

_ Warrior of Light _

_ Warrior of Darkness _

_ I am… _

_ More than the sum of my titles. _

_ The stars are my guide as I walk my path. _

_ I am Q’wynn Behn, a simple bard, traveler, dreamer of dreams.  _

With a gasp, she sits up suddenly alert, the darkness fading. She touches her cheek only to feel the dampness left behind by tears. Confused, she looks at the tips of her fingers, staring incredulously at the moisture, confused by its presence. Her body lurches though when she’s suddenly tightly embraced, nearly pushing her over on the bed she’s sat upon.

“Gods, Wynn, I was so scared.”

It takes her a moment to completely determine who has wrapped their arms around her; still dazed from whatever had just happened. But soon it is apparent, if not by the scent but the shock of fading red hair that obscures her vision.

“I’m fine Raha. I just…” She pauses to wrap her arms around him in turn. “I’m not sure what happened to be honest. Last I remember I was taking a bath to relax after today.”

“Yes, I saw.” He pulls back from the embrace to shift her into his lap before wrapping his arms around her once more protectively, almost possessively. From this new position she can see that the shoebill has moved from the table to the window sill but continues to watch her in constant vigil. “The guards at the gate alerted me that you had arrived but then immediately left without entering the tower. I was concerned something happened so as soon as they told me, I came to check on you.”

He pauses, squeezing her tight before continuing. “I found you thrashing in the tub, screaming out for names I do not know, making the most heartbreaking cries I’ve ever heard.” 

His hand reaches for hers and his thumb strokes her palm gently. “I couldn’t get you to wake. No matter what I did. I moved you from the tub so you wouldn’t hurt yourself and all I could do is watch as you suffered. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt powerless, Wynn. But here I was, completely so.”

“I’m sorry to cause you concern.” Sheepishly, she turns her hand to stroke his instead, providing comfort in a small way. “I wish I could recall what the dream was. I’ve never experienced something like this. At least with the last nightmare I could remember…”

“Do not apologize for things that are not your fault.” He rests his head on top of hers as he pulls her more firmly against his chest. “However, if you will permit, I think I’d feel better if I stayed the night here with you.”

She exhales a short laugh, pressing her own thumb into his palm and tracing the lines of his skin. “I think I’d like that too.”

He gives her a gentle squeeze before releasing her so she can get up once more. “Want me to do something about the bird?”

Looking over to the window sill, she considers the shoebill briefly, her gaze meeting its own. Once more, it stares unblinkingly but something seems  _ familiar _ about it.

“No, I find I quite like its company.”

G’raha laughs a bit before making his way to a basket that he must have brought with him. “Come let’s eat dinner and then a certain woman deserves a long night’s rest.”

She hums, “That sounds wonderful, if a certain man who is also deserving of such things rests as well.”

He smiles, setting her portion on a plate. “As you wish. We go together, into the future our destinies await.”

It’s her turn to laugh. “We’re just sleeping you dramatic fool.”

“You love it.”

“I do.” She hugs him from behind. “Thank you for being there, Raha.”

“I always will be. For as long as I am able, Wynn. Come, let’s eat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna apologize for the slight drought you guys had to wait through for me to update this. I had trouble getting into a groove on this chapter and quite frankly, I don't have a proper outline for this fic at all so I'm just flying by the seat of my pants. As such, I rely on my not-so-hot improv skills to come up with each chapter's content lmao
> 
> Anyway, thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoyed!! :D
> 
> Please feel free to screech at me over here in the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! I promise it's filled with wonderful and kind people who will enable you and all your fanfiction needs / desires <3


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning sex and some minor feels. Not much plot but there is some nice development at the end <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Smut, pretty vanilla stuff tho

Morning light filters in through the shutters of the large window of her suite waking Q’wynn up as the angle of the sun causes the rays to meet her eyes. Groaning, she rolls over and masks her vision in the chest of her bedmate who in turn mumbles a bit sleepily before wrapping his arms around her, pulling her in tight. Wynn nuzzles into the embrace and breathes in his scent sighing contentedly while the Crystal Exarch, or in such quiet moments more simply G’raha, opens his eyes and smiles.

“What a beautiful sight to awaken to.” He purrs, voice still husky from their long rest. “One could get used to this.”

Smiling against his chest, she hums quietly. “Is that so?”

“Absolutely. I’ve only been dreaming of such things for nigh on a century. To be honest, such dreams haunted me before even the Ironworks crew woke me up from my slumber.” He bends so his mouth is near her ear and whispers an addendum. “However, there was always a second part that haunted my dreams as well.” As if to illustrate, he presses his body against her causing his already stiff arousal to press against her.

“Oh? Do tell about such imagery that has haunted the esteemed Exarch for so long.”

“Well, as I mentioned before, the dream would start with waking. Not true waking but the sensation thereof and in my arms would be the loveliest woman I have ever encountered; one that I had missed dearly.” His embrace tightens as he continues. “She’d greet me with a smile on her succulent lips. Oh, those lips would tease me and cause a throbbing at my core. A simple touch of her hand against my cheek and I’d fall to her whims, her desires.

“Soon enough though, the tender touch would shift and reach with less than pure intent. Featherlight, her fingers would tease me, make me hunger for more than just her hand.” Wynn finds herself performing the actions as if his words are instructions. Reaching into his smalls while staring into his sanguine eyes as he tells his tale, she stays silent to allow him to speak freely. Besides for a small gasp as she took him in hand, he continues unabated. 

“The sensation would be too much and I’d fall victim to baser needs, my own hands reaching towards her, grazing across the surface of her skin until they reach their quarry.” This time his movements mirror his story. Hands move her panties out of the way, bringing them down past her waist allowing his fingers to access her completely. “I’d know I found it when she’d…” Here she gasps as his fingers gently massage her clit and he smiles in response. “Ah, yes that, perfect timing my dear. But perhaps this tale is best experienced rather than told, hmm?”

Her breath hitches as his ministrations quicken and his other hand pulls her up to him, soft lips firmly taking hers. The hand on his arousal matches his pace eliciting a groan from him that rumbles against her mouth accented with a quick thrust of his hips into her own. The kiss grows more needy, messy. Lips spread allowing tongues to taste the other as desire drives them towards delirium.

The time for clothes has passed and in unison, they undress clumsily, reluctant to leave the warmth of the bed. When both are bare, hands roam once more. Wynn brushes hers down his chest, spoken and crystal alike and he brings his to her breasts, kneading gently, stoking the fire in her core. This time her hips press against him, silently begging for more.

He hums in pleasure at her show of hunger for him. “I wonder: am I simply dreaming once more? Perfect pleasure such as this could hardly be more than fantasy.”

“You flatter me. If this is a dream, I hardly wish to wake up.”

“Then let us succumb to it.”

Guiding his arousal to her slit, he glides amongst her slick folds. The sensation causes them both to quiver. Wynn’s hands roam until they rest upon his ass, pressing him against her, needing to close the gap, to grind against him. There is an intense itch that must be scratched.

“Gods, Raha.” She speaks breathily, voice distorted by desire. “I need you. Now.”

“You dare demand things from your Exarch?” A teasing smile dances on sinful lips. “Such impudence.” He whispers in her ear. “And what would I get in return? Would you offer yourself? Be mine? Never to look at someone else as you do myself right now?”

“Always and forever. Whatever you wish. Please…”

“Ah! She has manners.” This time he rests the tip of his cock against her entrance. “As you wish, my dear. From henceforth, you are mine.” As if to punctuate his statement, he presses into her as deep as he comfortably can before falling back to repeat the motion. She hisses in response to the sudden sensation, not in pain but pleasure and once he's fully sheathed, together they moan. He due to the feeling of her core enveloping him and she due to the satisfaction being filled. Foreheads lean against each other as they relish in the feeling before slowly, taking great care, G'raha sets a pace. 

An ancient dance begins, one never lost in time. That of a joining of two people in a most intimate way. Perhaps not always out of love, but quite frequently in desire or need. This time though, two souls meet and caress, ebb and flow as if they truly were one. They take their time, allowing themselves the selfish desire to simply enjoy the other’s presence. 

Wynn’s hands reach for his silken locks, twining her fingers through them as she pulls his mouth to hers. At the same time his own reach behind her, pressing her into him, allowing him to press deeper while maintaining their steady rhythm. 

“You’re a dream come true, Wynn.” G’raha purrs as he continues to thrust into her, movements gaining speed. “Gods, I love you so much.”

Her hand moves from the back of his head to his crystalline cheek where he thumb rubs his cheekbone. “And I you. Forever and always.”

Sanguine eyes open and he smiles brilliantly before leaning his forehead against hers again. “Thank you. For everything.”

The coil in her core tightens as his fingers trail around to her front and brush against her sex, rubbing gentle circles around it. She’s so close, the pressure building, threatening to snap.  _ Just a little more. _

“Raha, please, I’m…” She doesn’t get to complete her sentence though before release floods through her being transforming her next word into a moan of ecstasy that echoes on the walls of her suite. Her head is swimming as he whispers his own pleads and prayers into her collarbone. 

She knows he’s spent when suddenly his mouth bites into her skin and he groans with a final thrust. Quivering, the grip he has on her loosens and he leans away breathing heavily. They lay in comfortable silence for a few minutes before G’raha pulls Q’wynn in for another embrace as he slides out. As done earlier, she nuzzles her face into his chest.

“How was this recreation of your dream?” She quietly asks, exhaustion setting in despite having just woke up.

“I’m still not convinced I am not simply dreaming.”

Wynn hums gently. “Would you like me to pinch you? That perhaps could prove whether this is reality or not.”

“Let’s not ruin such a perfect moment with such childish games.” He laughs before sitting up, bringing her with him. “Now, my inspiration, shall we face the day? I do think we both could use some cleaning up.”

Sighing, she allows him to pick her up and carry her to the wash area where after setting her down gently on the counter, he fills the tub and grabs a washcloth to wipe her down before attending to himself. Listening to the cascading water as she waits, her eyes are closed and she begins to quietly sing beneath her breath. A simple song really, one that she hasn’t thought about in many years; one that speaks of hope and rekindled love. For the first time in many moons, she sings from the heart. It takes a moment for her to realize that G’raha has stopped all motion but when she opens her eyes, she sees him standing completely still, observing her with a gentle smile.

“What?”

“You don’t sing as much anymore. I haven’t heard you sing since that night after we brought the night back to Lakeland.”

Blushing, she looks down and stares at her hands where fingers pick at each other. “Well, like I said then, I haven’t felt much reason to sing until recently.”

“And now?” A spark of hope flares within, one he dares not dwell upon for fear of being let down.

This time she smiles more genuinely, her gaze meeting his. “I find the songs may be returning to my soul.” She pauses for a brief moment before continuing. “Perhaps, my heart is opening ever so slightly once more.”

She watches as he bites his lip and tries to busy himself with the bath, anything to distract him from his insecurities before he inquires, “And that is good?”

It’s her turn to bite her lip. She thinks over how things have changed since arriving on the first, how trust that had been fractured, while not completely whole, is so much closer to resembling what it had been beneath the shadow of the twin of the tower the Crystarium is built around. 

“I think so. It certainly feels good.”

Whatever G’raha had been focused on with the tub must be complete as he turns around and walks to her until he stands in front of her. Gently, he caresses her cheek, cautiously optimistic eyes look into her own. 

“I’m glad. You deserve all the happiness in the world. I will do all I can to ensure you get it.”

“I’d say you’re doing a good job now.” She smiles up at him. “Now, about that bath.”

He chuckles. “Of course, milady, whatever you wish for, you will get if it's within my power, forever and always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I struggled with this chapter just a smidge so hopefully it turned out okay! <3 If you're looking for a fun community centered around FFXIV and fanfic of it, writing or otherwise, do consider joining the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! It's a very kind and wholesome community and I honestly made so many wonderful friends since joining it.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! <3 :D


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forewarning, this chapter does pull heavily from MSQ but I think it is still important to read because this helps to set up the theme of memory that will begin to be introduced shortly. I hope you enjoy Q'wynn's introspection! Thank you in advance for reading <3

All good things must come to an end; or at least a pause. This is the nature of the cycle of life, a constant rotation of dichotomies. For what once brings shadow, may also bring light much as the sun sheds its rays upon the star, it also brings about the birth of shadows behind those that face it. Despite this, it’s also common, expected to fight such cycles; rarely does a soul wish to experience the less desirable segments of life. However, what is joy without the experience of sorrow? How does one properly experience happiness without knowing the deep burden of sadness? The highs and lows each have their merits and such is life.

The same is true for Q’wynn and G’raha. Whilst G’raha continues to refine their method of returning the Scions to the Source, Q’wynn is entrenched in the mystery behind Elidibus and his desire to bring about a new generation of “Warriors of Light”. She wishes she could remember the dreams she’s been having, she wishes she understood why when she awakens she’s left with an incredible sense of loss. The answers come soon enough, even if they themselves bring more questions.

Beckoned to Amaurot, or the recreation thereof, by the sole Unsundered remaining, Q’wynn was faced with a truth. Or at least, what she has been told is one. As though leading her on a path, a course set in starlight, she follows colored stones that lead her away from the capital.

What appears to be relatively harmless stones at first, speak. They share their memories. For much like events are imprinted upon the soul, the people of the past imprinted their memories upon these stones. Each one brings flashes of images, feelings of sorrow and loss. 

> **_...day forth… bring honor to the seat of…_ **

A day of merriment, another worthy soul being ascended to the position of…

_What was it again?_ _  
__Why can’t I remember?_

Q’wynn shakes her head and the vision clears. The intrusive voice, hers but not, echoes uselessly. Looking forward, she sees the glitter of more and follows it.

> **_Behold, my friends. Embraced by the earth and caressed by the wind, vibrant life flourishes. All is right in creation._ **
> 
> **_There can be no greater joy than to use our wisdom for the good of our people. No greater pride._ **
> 
> **_May all know happiness, now and forevermore._ **

Again the image returns. The city, tall and proud whose spires pierce the heavens in their coiled path is on the horizon. A sense of contentment, that all is right in the world fills her. The night sky is filled with stars and she can sense another behind her, relishing in the view. One that perhaps differs from the one she sees.

_You did a wonderful job, love. It is no wonder they called upon the genius of… ...the esteemed Em…_

_I sense sarcasm from my dearest._

_I would never!_

_That voice._ Q’wynn frowns. _I know that voice._

_Of course you do._

_How?_

_Souls rarely forget those they had bonded to._

The cryptic answer from the not-her causes Wynn to furrow her brow. The voice of Emet-Selch, now gone, haunts her to this day and now? Now, she hears him once more. She glares at the stones for providing such non-answers, for adding further confusion to an already alarming situation. But she must move forward and so, she takes the next step. 

> **_The heavens are ablaze and the land rent asunder. What will become of the world? Is life itself to be denied?_ **
> 
> **_Come what may, we must not surrender to despair. If we hold fast to hope, we may yet find a path to salvation._ **

The skyline that had been admired in her previous vision is now aflame. The city that once slept peacefully is under alarm and her heart aches.

_I had hoped to return to a home still whole, Ha…_

_Much has happened in your absence…_

_What can be done?_

The voice of Emet-Selch does not respond. Or at least not before the vision gives way to the recreation once more. Tears slid down Wynn’s cheeks and it’s all she can do to keep from wiping them dry. It feels wrong to so simply erase such deep sorrow. Especially when soon she may be the only one left to remember it. Her feet move of their own volition knowing what must be done.

> **_Everything burns. Crumbles. Decays. I hear the lamentations of my brethren. And soon there will only be silence._ **
> 
> **_We will deliver our star from its doom, this we swear. So please, dry your tears._ **

This time, instead of the skyline, she’s greeted with a meeting room. Hooded shades with masks of varying shapes and sizes surround a table, muttering to each other in their melodic speech. She sits on the skinny side across from the one she recognizes must be Elidibus, Emet-Selch to her right recognizable from the mask he bore the day she…

_There is much destruction, maybe I can…_

_Leaving our city now is not an option._ _  
__You cannot leave our people behind while you galavant across the star._

_But I could seek answers, there are others out there too, I could he…_

_I could lose you._

_You could if I stay as well._

Wynn’s heart clenches as the phantom touch of a hand squeezes hers. One that despite its tenderness feels scandalous in the setting of the memory; as if it broke all societal norms. The eyes through which she experiences the vision turn to Emet-Selch and she sees a gentle, pleading look in his eyes so very hard to see through the formal mask of his position on the Convocation. Soon though, this vision clears and she’s left in the streets of Amaurot again with a fading warmth of someone else’s hand left behind on hers.

She looks at her hand palm-side up and bites her lip. It’s becoming clear that the not-her and him were… Clenching her hand into a fist, she stops the thought. There is no way any version of her would be into _him_ ; would allow him to be so close to her heart. 

_But you trusted his words before? Back when he planted doubt into your perceptions._

_It wasn’t him, it was the logic of his words._

_If you didn’t trust him at all, you would have scoffed at the notion._ _  
__Your soul recognized his; even if you didn’t realize it._

_Enough!_

Silencing the voice, she closes her eyes tight and takes a few deep breaths. She never felt anything for the Ascian, nothing more than annoyance and suspicion. 

_It could have been more if you had allowed him to._

_I didn’t need more. I don’t want more…_ _  
__It’s too late regardless._

The next stones are further down the street, continuing to lead her from the capital, this time a group of three again.

> **_The time is come. We shall rewrite the laws of creation. And we shall save our star._ **
> 
> **_From this life, our savior is born… May I be worthy of the honor._ **
> 
> **_I feel my soul turning. Slowly but irrevocably. And the power I wield begins to seem terrible… But this is right. It is right._ **

She’s not at Amaurot when word reaches the not-her about the summoning of a greater being, one to return life and order to the Star. The missive she receives brings great trepidation and sorrow. The loss of one of their own, a sacrifice in a vain attempt to right what is wrong. They placed the burden on the youngest of their own. It feels as though they took advantage of his eagerness to prove his value, his worth. It should never have come to this.

Q’wynn gasps this time when the vision ends, hands positioned as if they were still holding the letter from the memory. Her eyes stare at the void where the paper should have been. 

_We were close._

_We all were. We had to be._

Pursing her lips, she continues. The next stone is alone on the pavement, it’s aura is sad, longing.

> **_Though salvation is ours, it came at great sacrifice. All that remains is to pray… To pray that we will one day meet again, beneath a blue sky._ **

An anger-fueled memory spikes through her, she’s shouting at another.

_I never would have agreed to this. This is not salvation, this is ruin._

_We must do this in order to satiate Him. He who has brought order to the Star._

_And if he requires another sacrifice? What then?_

_We’ll do what we must._

_And if he requires my own soul?_

_It will not come to that._

_You cannot know. We-- You should have never allowed this._ _  
__The Convocation knew I wouldn’t agree, that’s why you did this while I was away._

_We did what we had to!_ _  
__We took the steps to save our people!_ _  
__...what else could you ask of me?_

_To find a different way._ _  
__I cannot continue to stand amongst those that would so willingly allow Him to consume our people._

_What are you saying?_

_I’m stepping down._

_You forsake us in our time of need?_

_No. I’ll find my own answers unburdened by the duties of the 14th seat._ _  
__I leave this evening._

_You forsake me?_

_You had forsaken me when you consented to this plan, H--_ _  
__You are not the man I knew, He has changed you. All of you!_

_He has saved us!_

_Time will tell._

Q’wynn closes her fist around the stone and clenches her teeth. They knew what they were doing and still they sacrificed so much. He knew what they were doing. 

_He allowed this to happen._

_He thought he did what was best._

_Killing people is never the answer._

_Yet you, I, we have killed._

Ignoring that comment, Wynn stomps forward towards another stone; familiar yet strange. Unknown yet known. It’s warm to the touch, as if it had been expecting her and when she touches it the voice is unmistakable.

> **_Gone is the brilliant radiance of life, replaced by the sickly glow of malformed creatures._ **
> 
> **_  
> _****_Is this to be how it ends? For we who loved the star with all our being?_ **
> 
> **_  
> _****_No. I will not suffer it to be so._ **

There is no memory with this one. There is only black and emptiness. Deep sorrow and loss. The feeling of being cast adrift within an endless void. She loses herself to the sensation, drowning in it. The other-her yearning for something no longer there. Her soul weeps and it's all she can do to remain cognizant of what is happening until she hears a voice singing its melodic language.

“Well, well. We meet again, my new old friend.”

Emerald eyes snap open and before her stands the friendly shade who assisted her before her fight with… _him._ “Hythlodaeus.”

The smile is evident in his voice. “How good of you to remember.”

Something within stirs at his presence, joyful almost. She pushes the not-her intrusion down though. “I could never forget one that offered assistance in a time of need.”

He gently nods before looking at what she holds in her hand. “I see you have been collecting stars.”

“I did notice they all had constellations on them. The patterns that even on the Source we have traced in our night sky.”

“Just as now those stars shine their guiding light down upon the lives below from the heavens, they are a perfect symbol for the Convocation of the Fourteen. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“I suppose. At least a perfect symbol for the intended purpose of the Convocation.”

“The Convocation was well-respected and put into a very difficult position. Do not judge the past too harshly, my friend.” He chides her softly before continuing. “As you have gathered, most surely, each crystal bears the account of a member of the Convocation as remembered by the unsundered.”

“So, he… they… made these?”

“The ones you knew as Lahabrea, Elidibus, and Emet-Selch? Yes. Although, Elidibus probably had a lesser hand in it.”

Wynn looks back down at the stone in her hand, biting her lip as she processes this new information but Hythlodaeus has more to say. “Lest you worry, they aren’t concepts; they are far too incomplete to be so. They do suffice, however, in imbuing memories within sundered souls, that they might be restored to their office.”

She looks up to meet his gaze. “Like Nabriales or Igeyorhm, then. It was clear they weren’t as powerful as the others when I confronted them.”

Again he nods, confirming her suspicions. “I think you should keep them. I’m sure Emet-Selch wouldn’t mind. Regardless, how are you as of late? It is Elidibus that you feud with this time, correct?”

“He is scheming but I’m not entirely sure how. He has brought about a new generation of heroes, new Warriors of Light. Those who walk their Star without the blessing but intend to do good with their actions.” She sighs. “It is bizarre to see people so willingly take up the helm after I spent and continue to spend the years resenting such a title.

“I fear he intends an attempt to rewrite history and turn the people against me. I fear he will succeed and if he does what does it mean for the millions of souls, however partial, that still live? I cannot allow such things to continue. I’m sorry, friend, I know they meant a lot to you.”

Hythlodaeus contemplates her words resting his chin on his curled fingers. “Hmm… I shall refrain from passing comment on your struggle. It is not my place to do so, long departed as I am. I appreciate your consolation, my new old friend. It shows a sense of empathy I have not been a recipient of in many years.

“However, despite your concerns and if I may voice a personal desire… I would rather you lived. For if you do not, how could you keep your promise to Emet-Selch? The promise to remember? _Remember us, remember that we once lived_. Wasn’t that his final request? It is a noble thing to accept, not something to be taken lightly.

“Such memories must be a burden, weight heavy on a soul such as yours. One that has such intense empathy for those they encounter, the ability to see from others’ perspectives.

“To one who has lived a life such as yours, I can well imagine how Elidibus’ existence might seem hollow--how empty his single-minded pursuit of a half-forgotten cause must appear-- But, please, bear in mind that his devotion is not without reason even if he can no longer remember what that reason is.”

“We all have our reasons. It is foolish to believe otherwise.”

“You always were able to consider other’s views, but that is quite enough about Elidibus. I would see if you can reunite the wayward stars.” With a deliberate point of his fingers, another stone spawns in a flash of blinding light; orange in color bearing a sigil resembling the sun. “I mentioned before that there was a member of the Convocation who opposed Zodiark’s summoning and defected. One whose office was left vacant…”

Wynn stares at the stone and something within recognizes the symbol. _My symbol, our symbol._ Reaching out, she lets it fall into her hand as Hythlodaeus explains. His words are muffled though as a ringing in her ears begins.

> **_From this day forth, you will be bestowed with a great responsibility, bring honor to the Fourteenth seat. ....we ascend you to the chair of Azem, the Traveler_ ** **.**

_Azem._

_Azem?_

_I am._ _  
__You are._ _  
__Together, we are Azem, Traveller. Shepherd to the Stars._

_What does that even mean?_

_We were charged with helping to guide, set a course for our people._ _  
__We would go where no one else dared and bring back the knowledge necessary for advancement._ _  
__We would find the answers others could not seek._

_What does that have to do with me?_

_I am you._ _  
__You are I._ _  
__The shards that comprise your soul were once mine._

_I am my own._ _  
__I never belonged to you._

The not-her, Azem, laughs.

_You are much like me. Strong and independent._ _  
__You’re right though, you are your own person. I am a relic._ _  
__No longer of this star and never to return as I was._

“...Or shouldn’t exist, at any rate--” Wynn’s attention is directed back to the kindly shade. “--and wouldn’t, had a friend not created one in secret.”

“This was Azem’s”

Surprise is evident in the shade’s tone. “You know of Azem?”

“She… they… I think…”

“She’s that strong then? Her soul would be, I suppose, based on what I remember.” He chuckles. “Yes, this is the crystal bearing the forgotten name of her office, or at least, what had been previously thought as forgotten. It also has the magicks of her own conceiving, an incantation embodying her spirit.”

“She said she was a traveller. One that sought out knowledge for the good of her people.”

“Azem would know and she is correct. She was charged with gaining knowledge of the wider world. Hence the title, Traveller. Much like you have done in your lifetime, she traveled the length and breadth of every land, befriending countless folk.

“There were troubles of course though. Matters she could have referred to the greater Convocation for assistance but that was not her way. Stubborn as she was.” He laughs more loudly at the thought. “Nay, more often than not, she would call upon her comrades, and together resolve matters themselves. Such is the magick sealed within that crystal--the magick to summon the stars to your side.”

Looking back to the stone, she feels the magick, the aether stored flicker ever so slightly and she curls her fingers around it. “It’s warm. I can feel the power that resides within.”

“As you should, it aligns with her magicks from then. In your time of greatest need, should you wish upon it with all your heart, it will surely answer your call and now it is where it belongs.”

“Thank--”

“Oh, there is no need for thanks. But nor will I hear any complaints about it either. After all, I cannot say whether I act of my own volition or by the will of my recreator!”

Smiling up at him, she closes her eyes.

_It’s been a long time, old friend._

_He’s been a good, new friend._

He’s gone when she reopens her emerald orbs at the prompting of a familiar voice behind her.

“I was wondering where you had disappeared to. Is something troubling you?”

Turning to her companion, she looks back to the stone in her hand. “No, I think I’m fine.”

“...No? Very well. I have everything I desire. I think it’s time to resurface.”

Taking one last look around, Q’wynn admired the city, that which had been her home a lifetime ago.

_It’s not as if this is goodbye forever._

_Doesn’t stop it from feeling that way._ _  
__We go together?_

_I am with you._ _  
__Always._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you liked this. Q'wynn has had a struggle ever since Elidibus triggered the memories of Amaurot in her dreams, the Amaurot that her past self tried to save in vain. We now see it more clearly manifest in additional memories and the semi-sentient Azem of that time. This is a reconciliation of it. Wynn accepting this side of her but also acknowledging that she is the one in charge. I hope this makes sense?
> 
> Do let me know what you think in the comments, but be kind and respectful please. Thank you all for reading! :D It means a lot<3
> 
> Please feel free to screech at me over here in the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! I promise it's filled with wonderful and kind people who will enable you and all your fanfiction needs / desires <3


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, we end the story on the First.

**> > G’raha Tia, the Crystal Exarch of the First <<**

Events move far too quickly. Just when he and Beq Lugg think they have succeeded, would have a moment to celebrate, the Ascian appears under the guise of Ardbert once more. Prattling on about how he must call upon denizens of light to ward off the darkness, those that would assist him in his quest to cast out shadow, Elidibus makes it clear his goal.

“Here lies darkness. It must be destroyed.”

It does not take a smart man to understand what-- _who, he thinks_ \--the Ascian refers to. His heart clenches at the thought of her light being extinguished and he takes what he hopes looks like a strong stance. For this is his domain and he rules it.

“You expect me to cooperate?”

“I do not require your cooperation. Your death will suffice. The magick, I shall have from your corpse.”

Muscles contract, ready to move if necessary but before he can decide on a course of action, Beq Lugg attacks. Her fire elemental strikes quickly commanding the attention of Elidibus. She implores him to flee, that they must go but it's too late. Elidibus has overpowered the familiar casting it aside and rendering it powerless. Similarly, in the blast of the fallen fire elemental, Beq Lugg falls.

It is here that G’raha makes a choice. _By the twelve, I hope it’s the right one._

Ignoring Elidibus’ attention on his memory vessel, he grabs Beq Lugg and flees. She is barely conscious and as they move, together they attempt to ward off the Ascian to slow his progress. When they’ve done all they could he calls upon Aether, far too much for his weary state and teleports away. It’s haphazard at best, a desperate attempt to save a friend but it works for the moment. Gone are the bright azure floors of the tower, instead replaced with lavender foliage of the greater Lakeland area.

His chest is heaving from the strain, soon the pain as well when he feels the toll the tower takes on his body begin to spread even further. _I have little time._ He thinks. _So little time to ensure we, she makes it through this._ As if purely thinking of her summoned her to his side, he hears the pounding of feet crunching the dead foliage scattered on the ground and looks up to see her; his hero, his inspiration, the beacon of light that kept him going for all these years.

“Wynn, how did you..?” He breathes deeply attempting to regain composure. 

_This is not the time to worry her_ , he thinks as he notices her gaze sweep across his body, focusing on the spreading crystal. “No matter… Elidibus… He took us unawares.” He looks over to Beq Lugg but it is at this most inopportune time that the tower exacts its toll once more. Pain shoots through his arms as he further crystalizes, the stiffening of muscles and skin once flesh forces a cry from his lips. 

He knows she’s watching in horror. He knows they do not have the time to worry about this. He wants to console, to reassure her that this is necessary, this is the price he paid so long ago; one he would gladly pay again but before he can speak. Their fae friend regains consciousness.

“It was all we could do… to raise a ward to hinder his steps… And so we fled.” Beq Lugg struggles for breath, shakily exhaling before continuing. “But he took it… the vessel with the Exarch’s memories. Forgive me… forgive me…”

“The vessel bears not only my memories, but also my blood--Wynn, you know what this means.”

He holds her gaze as she processes the information before resolutely nodding. “Then I must do what is necessary. I will stop him.”

“It’s not just the tower though. Wynn, he’s summoned so many heroes to his side, pulled them from across the rift. And as you can see… the tower.. It…”

He’s looking at his hands once more unable to hold them still. The situation is dire but he must stay strong, he will stay strong. _I can be strong._

He feels a hand on his shoulder and he looks up. “Raha, I’m glad you’re okay. Let me take care of this.”

“You cannot go alone, I cannot ask you to. Not again.”

“You’re not in a state to help! Rest, stay here with Beq Lugg.”

“You need me to regain entrance, Wynn. I’m not arguing. I’m coming with.”

Grunting in frustration she tears her hand from the comforting grip on his shoulder. “You’re just as stubborn as you were then! Insisting that you must go with me and it’s even worse this time. You appear as though you can barely stand, Raha. I _can_ do this alone, what I _cannot do_ is lose you.” Her words hang in the air for a moment before she utters two more quietly, just under her breath. “Not again.”

G’raha stands up with great effort, his joints that just turned to crystal creaking under the change in position. “There is no time to argue, Wynn. After all, isn’t it you that reminded me of my own words when you first arrived here? _We are stronger together._ Allow me to grant you my strength. Please, the time has come to bring my strongest card to bear.”

Her verdant eyes look into his as she bites her lip considering his words. “As you wish, we must hurry.” As if preventing herself the chance to argue, she sprints and he follows.

Just like all those years ago, together they climb the many stairs of the tower but this time his sense of awe and wonder is replaced by urgency and desperation. Attempting to maintain pace with Wynn he runs as fast as he can until his body fails him. The pain spears through his body, radiating from the leg as once more the tower claims him. Staff clattering to the floor, he falls.

_Not now!_ His anger spikes and it’s all he can do to hold back tears of frustration. He sees Wynn turn in concern and at this most inopportune time more heroes from beyond the rift are summoned. Grimacing through the pain, he stands up.

“Wynn, you have to keep moving. I’ll hold these ones off.” He looks to her attempting to show a brave face, one that is unconcerned of what is so clearly happening to him. She looks back in terror. “I’ll be fine. I can’t imagine using my trump card without your presence.” He sees her tells of nervousness; a bite of her lip, flick of her tail, ears pressed against her head. But soon, she nods and sprints up the next set of stairs only giving one look back as she rounds the corner. Turning back to the summoned entities, he takes a stance and whispers one word. 

“Break.”

Immobilizing them makes the rest of it short work and he breathes heavily from the strain of further relying on the tower to assist him in his duty to truly, finally save the First. He allows his legs to collapse under his weight and takes a moment.

_It was only a matter of time,_ he laments. The crystal has only continued to spread from his efforts to buy Wynn time, to allow her to do what must be done. He looks to the ceiling of the tower, so far from where he rests. _I must move forward. This is no time to stop._ Forcing his body to move, he makes the ascent. 

He hears her fight and the cries of the Ascian as he approaches the throne room where she fought another powerful enemy a lifetime ago. He passes the threshold just in time to see Elidibus crouched before his hero, Warrior of Light and Darkness alike.

“Fool! You have achieved nothing! I am immortal, and I will never surrender!”

G’raha, the Crystal Exarch, continues his path. This is not the time to stop and wait. This is the moment for action and he sees his time has come. The Ascian stands and attempts to take a step, but the Exarch calls upon the tower once more and halts the man before he can make any further movements.

“Elidibus. So fixated were you on my memories of the future, you failed to heed the lessons of the past.” Taking a wide stance, he holds his staff out. “Your obsession has blinded you to the true nature of this tower--this beacon of hope for mankind.” Activating the spell, he raises his weapon and a pillar of light consumes the Ascian’s form. “This tower was created to serve as a reservoir for the limitless energy of the heavens! To harness and bind the boundless--not unlike white auracite! Your ill-begotten power, obtained by exploiting that which is best in us… I shall have it, your soul and all.” 

Slamming the pointed end of the staff to the ground, the tower shines in response with a blinding light. He feels the aether coursing through him, overwhelming power and once more the tower claims his flesh with a sharp crack. He stumbles but before he can completely lose himself to the pain, Wynn arrives at his side grasping his staff just above where his own grip lies. 

She smiles at him. “We are stronger together, are we not?”

He allows himself a quiet chuckle before smiling. “We are.”

Together, they raise the weapon once more and with a flash of light, the Ascian’s form is banished, leaving behind nothing more than what appears to be a child. Wynn walks up to the child and G’raha can hear discussion but not comprehend over the pounding in his ears. The pain is too much to bear and he releases his grip on his staff causing Wynn to run over.

“Raha, are you okay? What’s happening? We can… we can fix this.”

He shakes his head, forcing himself to look at her. “I concede, I may have overexerted myself. Steady now, and listen. I told you before that I had a plan, and that when all was said and done, I would ask a favor of you. We have averted the Eighth Umbral Calamity. Found a way for everyone to return to the Source, and… last but not least, we have secured the future of all the people of Norvrandt. We have won.” Breathing in deeply, he continues. “Remember what I told you, Wynn? The crystal you hold, it contains my memories. 

“Return to the Source and revive the Scions. Then, please, find this young man, I think you know him, goes by G’raha Tia, a student of Baldesion. He should be in this very tower taking a very long nap and I think it’s time he wakes up. He has an entire life before him after all.”

Tears are forming in her eyes. “This feels like a goodbye, Raha. I asked you to stay, please don’t leave me. Not again.”

He musters the strength to sit up properly and caress her cheek. “I will always be with you, love. I’m sorry I couldn’t be better for you. You deserve so much more. Please though, it’s a selfish request, do wake me up. If not for me, for yourself.

“And… promise me you’ll take me on your next adventure. A journey. Together. That’s all I ask.”

She smiles through her sobs. “A journey? That’s all? I’d give you my life, Raha. I’ll do it. For you, for us.”

A quiet laugh escapes him. “Your life? Then I suppose it’s only fair I admit I’d give you mine in return. We will meet again, Wynn, please trust me on this.” Moving his hand from her cheek to the back of her head, he pulls her in for one more kiss, gentle, soft, an attempt to reassure. He feels his time is short and he leans back to stand up. Pulling the hood back over his eyes with one hand, he walks to stand in front of the throne.

“Remember Wynn, there is always hope and I will always be there for you, no matter my form.” Looking to the memory vessel one last time, he imbues it with the most recent events. For the last time on this shard, crimson meets emerald eyes and with a smile, the crystal consumes all. He has found peace. Peace in knowing he has helped save two worlds, but most importantly, he has saved _her._

**> > Awakenings <<**

Q’wynn has never been so impatient to tie up loose ends in her life. She willingly obliged to the Scions’ request to return to where they’ve spent much of their time on the First respectively but she does so with a tightness in her chest. One that reminds her just how anxious she is to bring the vessel in her pouch to the Crystal Tower on the Source.

Soon enough though, the time has come and the Scions have said their goodbyes. Soon the single vessel in her bag has become many, labelled carefully by their owners. With one last look at Beq Lugg, she steps through the portal between worlds. Her right foot that had lifted off from crystal flooring lands upon the Mor Dhona dirt and she breathes in Eorzean air.

_I am home._

Rather than take the time to walk back up to the toll, she teleports and bursts in through the doors of the Rising Stones. Tataru looks at her in surprise and all she does is smile and nod. 

_We are home._

Together, she and the secretary enter Dawn’s Respite where the Scions’ bodies sleep. Wynn reaches into her bag and carefully places each vessel next to its owner. 

“Now, we wait.”

It doesn’t take long, just moments really. Soon, one by one they each wake up with a stretch of their muscles, testing the feeling of their souls being in their body once more. Wynn is antsy though, pacing around the room, wanting to be there for them but at the same time _needing_ to be somewhere else. All it takes is that subtle nod from Alphinaud for Q’wynn to run off. As happy as she is that the Scions are well and safe, her anxiety about the last person that needed to be revived was palpable.

And so she sprints ignoring the odd looks of the folk of Revenant’s Toll. Her feet pound against the ground, each step taking her closer to her heart’s desire. _To him_. Unlike when she arrived on the first, her heart flutters in excitement upon reaching the Dossal gate. She reaches into her pouch and grabs the auracite that contains his memories and blood. Holding it up to the gate, she implores it to open for her and to her surprise, it heeds her wishes. Heart pounding, she hesitates.

_Calm yourself, all will be well._

_How can you know?_

_You cannot, but worrying does nothing._   
_We face what life grants us and we make it our own._ _  
Have heart, together we will succeed._

The ascent up the tower to where she suspects he rests feels as though it takes an eternity. The steps are endless and the silence except for the hum of the tower is a void. But finally, she reaches her destination; the room they shared on the First many nights, some for passion and pleasure, some for comfort and care. Opening the door she peers in.

He sleeps on a makeshift bed of various fabrics he must have found around the place. Dressed in the same clothes as he was the day she was left behind, it causes her breath to hitch at the reminder but she must persevere. Fingering the memory stone in her pocket that Hythlodaeus gave her, she steps forward.

_All will be well, right Azem?_

_Yes, together we will make it so._

He looks at peace when she finally makes it to his side and carefully, she grabs the final vessel from her bag. Gingerly, she places it next to him and it glows ever so slightly at the proximity to its owner. Just like before, she says aloud to no one in particular.

“And so we wait.”

Q’wynn’s not sure how long it took but it felt like an eternity of her waiting in the tower for her love to wake up. Staring over the tops of her knees as she sits on the crystal floor with her legs pressed against her chest, the silence is deafening. But the silence breaks eventually, as all things tend to. Ears perk at a single noise that interrupts the gentle hum of the tower; a startled gasp as eyes open after a long rest.

She’s quick to get on her feet, rush to his side, and grasp his hand. For the first time in many years on the Source, eyes lock and ruby meets emerald.

**> > G’raha Tia, Student of Baldesion of the Source <<**

It’s a startling feeling being woken up from a long rest; especially one he didn’t anticipate being woken from if he’s to be honest. But the implausible has happened and his eyes snap open to the dimly lit room within the tower. His joints creak from underuse as he goes to sit up placing a hand on his forehead. Suddenly, another hand reaches for his own that holds his weight up and he jumps in surprise. He turns to the intruder and gasps in surprise.

“Q’wynn? What…”

“Did it work? Are you okay?” She’s reaching for him, touching him as if she’s not sure he’s really there. “I mean, I trusted that you’d find a way but I worried nonetheless.”

“What are you talking about, Wynn?”

She stops her fretting and looks back into his eyes. “What do you mean? You asked me to come here.”

“I asked you to stay out. How did you get in? What is going on?”

Her eyes avert their gaze and she bites her lip. “G’raha, you don’t remember do you?”

He feels as though he’s done something horribly wrong, as if he’s hurt her more than when he first began his slumber. Tears are forming in her eyes and the lip she had been worrying with her teeth begins to tremble. “Q’wynn, I’m so sorry, but what am I supposed to remember?”

She exhales a breath and shaking hands reach for something that he hadn’t noticed beside him. It’s a crystalline vessel of sorts, mostly blue like the tower with a tip of blood-red. “Do you know what this is? Please tell me you know what this is.”

He studies it more closely as if suddenly he’d understand, as if suddenly he’d know and all would be right in the world but it is futile. After many tense moments, he finally gives in and shakes his head. “Forgive me,” he wrings his hands, “I don’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have plans! There will still be a happy ending but I hope you like the direction I'm taking with this!
> 
> If you're enjoying this story or even just looking for a great fanfiction community, please do consider joining me over at [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! The community there has helped me so so much and without their encouragement I would have never started writing fanfic at all.
> 
> Thank you all so so much for reading! <3


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> G'raha struggles with what he's learned and is still learning. Q'wynn struggles with loss.

Much as the seasons change, so does life. A lesson that G’raha Tia is learning all over again. One he thought he had learned the night he had made his decision to lock himself in the Crystal Tower. But here he is confronted with yet another major change. Truthfully, personally, it feels as nothing much has changed but then every so often, the  _ other him _ speaks and reminds him of just how much everything has.

He’d be lying of course if he said he hadn’t been dreaming, hoping that he would be awoken by Q’wynn. It had been an implausible imagining of his design that against all odds came true. And now? Now, when faced with his heart’s desire he peers into her eyes and sees longing for someone he is not; someone he could have been. 

_ Someone you still can be. _ Not-quite-his-voice fills his mind much like the intrusive visions he keeps seeing. So far they’ve been strangely scattered, impossible to piece together but Q’wynn continues to reassure him that surely it must take time for a memory transfer to occur.

He’s not sure he wants it to.

Out of place and out of time, he sits in the Rising Stones pondering the situation taking his chance alone to be with just his thoughts. Well, his thoughts and  _ the Exarch _ . Q’wynn is gone, returned to the first for a time having left this morning, unsure how long due to the distortion between here and there. He knows she’s mourning or at least struggling. He knows she returns there to seek this other him that she connected,  _ reconnected? _ , with. He shakes his head. 

_ This is all so much. _

_ Not just for you. _

_ You think I don’t realize that? _

_ I think you’re focusing on the details and not the big picture. _ _   
_ _ She suffers as you do. _

He grunts in frustration at the never-ending chastising he’s been receiving; this imprint of another person left upon his mind from the accursed vessel created by a version of him that by all rights should no longer have existed. He exhales, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

_ You’re right. _

Standing, he exits his room. He requested his own. Sharing one with her didn’t feel right. Not when she so clearly desires another.

_ We are the same. _ _   
_ _ What I have done, you are capable of. _ _   
_ _ What I have felt, you can feel. _

_ I have felt it! _ _   
_ _ I felt it first! _

Leaving the Rising Stones, the weight in his pouch grows heavier. It’s ever-present at Q’wynn’s request and he still cannot deny her. Not such a simple plea. And so, the vessel he resents so much is with him always in hope that it will expedite the process. 

On his back is a new bow as he makes his way out of Revenant’s Toll to the makeshift training ground that he set up. He needed to get used to the differences between the one he has now and the one he had then. Something he noticed immediately after leaving the tower was Q’wynn’s reluctance to part with the one he gifted her. Not that he expected her to return the gift, but rather it was strange to have a new weapon when the one he’s accustomed to was so near. 

Regardless, he would have had to train anyway. His muscles ache like they never have before after such a long rest and he must rebuild his strength. Even if he were to decline the offer from the Scions. One he doesn’t really feel is meant for him, but rather  _ him. _

Frustrated, he nocks an arrow and takes aim and fires. To his chagrin, it flies just right of the target and he growls before grabbing another arrow from his quiver. The next shot is even further off course causing him to yell in frustration this time, his voice echoing off the scattered crystal that mars the Mor Dhona earth.

_ Calm yourself. _

“Go away!”

“G’raha?”

He stops when he hears her voice, quiet and concerned behind him. 

“Q’wynn.” He doesn’t trust himself to say more. He doesn’t trust himself to turn around. 

“The others told me they saw you leave when I had returned so I thought…” 

He can hear her insecurity settle in. Just like that first night under the stars. His heart clenches at the thought that this time he’s the cause. Taking a deep breath to control his emotions, he turns to face her.

“I just wanted to practice is all. Turns out I need it.” The first thing he sees is her eyes, puffy and red as if she’d been crying recently. The second is a bundle of fabric and a letter that she holds in her arms, hugged against her chest.

“Ah, I see. Well, if you want I could…” She pauses, breath trembling. “I’m always willing to help.”

The tension between them is palpable. He wants to close the gap, hold her in his arms. Make her forget this other him that is so deeply seared into her mind, but he resists. “I think that’d be nice.”

She nods and takes a few steps forward. “I stopped by to check on Lyna. I worry for her, you know?”

He doesn’t but he dares not say it. The name rings a bell, he feels a deep sadness at the mention of her as if he should but he cannot place a person to it. “You’re a good person Q’wynn.”

“That’s what you’ve always told me.”

“You are.”

“Hmph, not good enough, I think.” Before he can argue, she continues. “I grabbed a few things from the First. Just in case. I mean… no pressure but… I just thought. Maybe? I don’t know…” She holds out the bundle of fabric. “This is what you wore while there. It’s kind of silly really, you did such a poor job hiding yourself. I knew who you were immediately.” She laughs at the memory.

A vague sense that he knows what she’s talking about occurs, as if a tickle in his mind but he dares not follow it. If he allows the memories to manifest, what happens to him? Does he get replaced?

Does she want him to be?

“Anyway, like I said, you don’t have to wear them or anything. Just a thought to bring a set back.” She looks down. “Oh! I also brought a letter from Lyna and I made her sit down for a quick portrait so we have a picture to remember her by since right now I’m the only one who can visit. You were like a father to her after all.”

“He was, you mean.”

The tiniest of gasps escape her lips and she looks down. Immediately he feels shame for pointing it out but before he can apologize she does. “I’m sorry. You’re right…” She exhales. “He was.”

“No, I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

“But you’re right though.” She looks up. “I need to remember that he’s not around anymore. Even if you do get his memories. You are not him and that’s perfectly fine. All he ever really wanted of me was to bring you on an adventure. That was his last request.”

That surprises him. “Really?”

She smiles. “Yeah, he bid me to wake you up. Said you’ve had enough rest and have plenty of life before you. I think he didn’t want you to make his mistakes, even if his mistakes led to him saving my life and this world.” Pausing she thinks for a moment. “He was a man with many regrets. Despite it though… I lo…” Her voice breaks before she can finish the sentence.

“I know. He knew. I’m sure of it.”

“Thank you. That means a lot. I...” She hugs the clothing to her chest again. “A lot happened on the First. Personally and between us. That said” She looks up at him. “I know you’re different. I loved you then and I meant it. Please, just give me time to mourn. That is. If you still want me. I’m even more broken now than before.”

He’s heard enough. Taking a few steps closer he pulls her into his arms. “I’ll pick up the pieces. You are worth the effort. We both just need time. We are stronger together.”

“You remember that?”

“Of course.”

“I’m glad. Really.” She pauses and looks over at the target. “Want some help?”

“I think I need it.”

Q’wynn laughs. “Alright, let me set this stuff down.” She gently places the bundle in her arms on a nearby rock and then grabs her own bow from her back. “Obviously you know the basics. Or at least, I hope you still recall them.”

“I do believe I remember how to nock an arrow.”

“Good! My pupil has a basic understanding of his weapon.” She smiles teasing before walking past him, bumping him with her hip as she does. Taking her stance, she readies her bow and takes aim releasing the arrow and hitting the target squarely in the center.

“Well, now you’re just showing off.”

“Show me what you’ve got! Or are you scared?”

“Of you? Never. I know better.” He smirks before taking a stance next to her. Exhaling slowly, releases the arrow and while this time it hits the target, it’s shy of the center.

“Not bad for an amateur. Here, let me correct your stance.” She walks over and shifts his legs a bit before turning her attention to his arms, guiding them gently as he goes to draw the weapon once more. “Shift, just like this and don’t hold your breath. You’ll quiver if you do. Release the tension as you exhale.”

He follows her directions as she speaks them and when ready, he fires. The arrow flies and finds its mark next to her own causing him to grin in pride. 

“See? You had this the whole time. Just needed my expertise to push you just a bit.” 

Q’wynn grins looking up at him and he looks back at her. It’s just like before during the expedition, he doesn’t know what’s overcome him but he leans in taking her lips in his. He feels her shock as he kisses her but soon she reciprocates, arms wrapping around his middle. The contact is short and sweet and ends all too soon but she pulls back and so does he.

“All I ever need is you, Q’wynn.” He hugs her tight. “You’re all I ever wanted.”

* * *

That night G’raha dreams of a world covered in ash and a harsh and deep pain he never before could have imagined. It starts with a shaking feeling and someone calling his name. Being awoken much like Q’wynn had recently, but this time the world is dark, plumes of smoke visible everywhere. Whoever woke him, helps him up and out of the tower as they explain the situation to him on the way down the many glowing blue crystal steps. The words that set ice in his heart would soon fall from their lips, unaware of the impact they would have on him.

_ The Warrior of Light perished. We must correct this error in the fabric of time. _

He attempts to conceal his feelings and resist the urge to outwardly scream.  _ It cannot be. She cannot be… gone. _

Here he wakes up in a cold sweat, heart pounding and hands shaking. Here, he finds that perhaps after all. He doesn’t want to sleep alone anymore. 

_ All is well. She is alive. _

_ It felt so real. _

_ In a different world, it was. _

He brings his hands to the sheets, clenching them into fists and balling the fabric within them. The memory sears itself into his mind and tears fall with the feelings that follow.

_ I am my own person. _

_ You are. _ _   
_ _ You will be. _ __   
_ But, you must understand. _ _   
_ __ Not for me, for her.

He wants to respond to the voice but has no words, his thoughts interrupted by another voice coming from the doorway.

“Are you alright?” Q’wynn stands, worrying her hands, in the entrance to his room. “I heard some noises and I was concerned.”

“I just.” He sighs. “I had a nightmare. But I think… I think it was a memory.”

“I feared they would manifest as such. A lot of what he experienced was not good. I’m sorry you’ve been burdened with it. Perhaps I shouldn’t have…”

“No, it’s okay. If my having these memories will help you. I’ll do it. I’ll do anything.”

“You’re too selfless. Always have been. Do you need anything from me? Or should I...” She motions to the door, silently asking if she should leave.

“No, I don’t think I need anything, but…” He sighs looking back at his hands. “Do you think you could stay?”

She smiles gently. “For you? Anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to screech at me over here in the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! I promise it's filled with wonderful and kind people who will enable you and all your fanfiction needs / desires <3


	30. Chapter 30

G’raha Tia wakes up with his love in his arms. It feels good, almost right as if his arms were meant to keep her safe and warm. He holds onto the feeling, attempting to let go of the memories gained last night. Memories not quite his but are. Memories of a world where she wasn’t; a world that no longer exists. 

_Thank you, Exarch._ _  
_ _Thank you for saving her._

_I had to._ _  
_ _If not for me, you, us…_ _  
_ _The world._ _  
_ _She is too important to many._

He hums quietly, _she is._

The morning light filters through the dust particles that descend in the air casting a warm glow around the room. He grabs the blanket and pulls it to his shoulders trapping their body heat and closes his eyes. Hugging her close to his chest, he sings quietly under his breath. It’s a song he doesn’t truly recall the origins of; just one he knows is right for this soft moment. 

_In days to come,_ _  
_ _When your heart feels undone;_ _  
_ _May you always find an open hand_ _  
_ _And take comfort wherever you can, you can, you can._

Q’wynn mumbles in her sleep and he smiles but continues his song rubbing her arm gently. She deserves her sleep after all. It’s been a difficult time for both of them.

_So cry, why not?_ _  
_ _We all do._ _  
_ _Then turn to the one you love._ _  
_ _And smile a smile that lights up all the room._ _  
_ _And follow your dreams,_ _  
_ _In through every out door…_ _  
_ _It seems that's what we're here for._ _  
_ _And when you can't remember_ _  
_ _A better time,_ _  
_ _You can have mine_

She stirs once more, this time her mumbling more coherent and he realizes she’s singing along. Doing his best to maintain the rhythm and not give away his surprise, he finishes the song. In unison, their voices ring out gently until they finally dissipate. Her lips curve up and she rolls over to press her face into his chest.

“You remember that song?”

“To be honest, I don’t know where it is from.”

She hums in thought. “As loathe as I am to leave the comfort of the bed, I can answer that for you but that requires an item I do not have with me.”

“Could it wait?”

“It can, if you wish.”

“I do.”

“Very well, as you wish.”

She tucks her head under his chin and wraps her arms around his middle, humming the tune they just finished singing. The vibrations in her chest tickle his own as they transition from song to purr. His hands move from her back to the base of her ears, rubbing gently just where he knows she likes it. He chuckles when he hears the sound of her tail swishing beneath the sheets.

“Glad to see you still like that.”

“It feels so good.” She shifts her head so his hands press harder against the perfect spot for her pleasure. “I’ll never dislike that. Besides, I’m pretty sure you were always affected quite differently than I by such ministrations.”

He blushes at the implication. “I can’t help that!”

She smiles against his chest. “I don’t want you to change it. I love it.”

His blush deepens, cheeks beginning to match his hair and he nuzzles his face into hers. “I’m glad.”

They lie like this for a while, basking in the other’s presence. The body heat shared between them makes the bed cozy and enticing causing neither to want to get up and greet the day. Outside the room, they can hear the shuffle of feet as the Scions wake up one by one which slowly turns to quiet chatter. Still, they lie together in the bed unperturbed. That is until they hear a commotion as Alisaie searches for the Warrior of Light.

“Alphinaud, have you seen Q’wynn yet this morning?” The young elezen’s voice is muffled by the thick door to G’raha’s room. “We just got a report…” Her voice fades as she walks further away from them.

Groaning, Q’wynn goes to sit up. “That’s my cue. Time to put on my hero mask.”

“Can’t you stay?” He hates that he sounds like a child but he does not wish to be without her by his side. Her presence is comforting after the previous night’s visions.

She reaches down to caress his cheek. “A hero’s duty is never done. I must go.” She smiles softly. “But, perhaps you could join me? Go on a brief adventure? I cannot imagine it’d be too dangerous.”

His heart leaps. “You want me to?”

“Always will. Get your stuff. I’ll see what’s going on.” With one last encouraging look, she leaves his room. He’s staring at the vacant space she had occupied before he shakes himself out of his stupor. Quickly, he grabs his bow and quiver after sloppily getting dressed. Steeling his nerves, he follows his inspiration out of the room to find out where they’re going. On the way though, he hears the hint of conversation between Q’wynn and the rest of the Scions.

“Are you sure? He hasn’t exactly been himself since we’ve gotten back.”

“He’s more like himself than you’ll ever know.”

Sounds of disgruntled disbelief escape a few of the Scions before the one he believes is Thancred speaks. “The man hasn’t touched the staff the Tataru carefully crafted for him. All he does is play with that bow. Are you sure you don’t require more back-up?”

Whatever excitement he had been feeling becomes dense and settles like lead in his stomach bringing the emotional high to a low. He _knew_ they didn’t want him, they wanted...

“Do not question me on this.” Q’wynn practically snarls.

His thoughts are interrupted by Q’wynn’s outburst. The protective edge to her voice giving him hope. Hope that, perhaps, she wasn’t just trying to say the right thing but meant it when she said that she still loved him, still wanted the person he is right now. He hears more indistinct arguing before Q’wynn’s voice bursts out once more filled with anger.

“I do not need your permission to do this. I will be going and he will accompany me. It will be fine and good and you _all_ will respect it.”

Voices overlap in protest as he hears the stomping of hard leather boots against the floor of the Rising Stones. Pressing himself against the wall of the hall to clear the way for the clearly upset person, he attempts to be as small and unnoticeable as possible. However, to his surprise, it is Q’wynn herself who rounds the corner.

“You ready?” She asks gruffly, eyes dark. He merely nods, the weight in the pit of his stomach sinking deeper. “Good, we’re going.”

He follows quietly, hand gripping his bow a bit tighter than necessary. Together they walk through the Rising Stones and out into the bar before entering the Aetheryte Plaza. Once he knows he’s out of earshot of the rest of the Scions, he gathers the courage to ask. “Is something wrong?”

She hums in question briefly before responding. “You’re good.” She sighs. “I swear they don’t listen to me sometimes though. It’s endlessly frustrating. No matter. They mean well I suppose.”

He accepts it at face value, fearing what her answer may be if he asks her thoughts on his lack of skill and desire to learn combat magic. So instead, he chooses to look forward to their adventure. “So…” He trails off as he takes a few long strides to catch up. “What’s going on that they need you for?”

“Oh, they don’t really need me for this. It’s just easier if I do it myself regardless. My echo’s manifestation is rather useful for combat and getting through it mostly unharmed. As such, they like me to go on these kinds of missions. The others can handle diplomacy and information gathering better than I, I suppose.” She looks to the ground, kicking a few rocks as they walk. “I don’t really have a proper education unlike most of them anyway.

“I’m rambling though, aren’t I? You asked what we’re doing? There’s just some pests outside the walls of Mor Dhona. Didn’t really listen to what kind if I’ll be honest. It’s usually nothing to worry about. How’re you feeling this morning? You seemed… upset last night.”

“I just… I remembered the eight umbral calamity. Or… at least the Ironworks crew waking me up after it.”

She’s silent for a bit, taking in his words. “He told me about that.” She looks up to the sky briefly before turning her head to face him. “Are you okay? From what I know that time was not exactly pleasant.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I’ve burdened you with pain in exchange for my hope. It wasn’t fair of me. It still isn’t. I can take the vessel back if you...”

“No!” She jumps at his exclamation and he looks away, eyes set on the horizon. “I mean… no, this is something I must do.”

She stops in her tracks. “No, it’s not. You have your own life to live. One you do not have to burden with the memories of another man. I’ll respect your decision if you choose to continue what I’ve started but truly…” She exhales. “Only do so if you have taken great care and thought beforehand. I know he is dead and your having his memories will not bring him back… not really.”

“Do you want him back?” Even as the question slips out, he’s not sure if he wants the answer.

“Not if the cost is you.” She sighs. “He wouldn’t want that either. He never lost that trait. The intense desire to help others even at risk to himself. It… drove me nuts sometimes.” She smiles a sad smile. “Anyway. My point is: there’s a lot of baggage in those memories. Plenty of knowledge too, but so so much baggage. He knew this of course and I think he also figured you’d take the baggage if it meant gaining centuries of information, but I want to emphasize that it is _your choice. Yours and yours alone._ ”

It seems Q’wynn said all she intends to because she falls silent now and in the quiet, he turns inward. The Scions expect him to though, right? If he wants to do what’s best for the world, for everyone--for her--he’d accept it, this other him.

“Oh, that reminds me.” Q’wynn interrupts his thoughts and reaches into her pouch. “You didn’t know where you knew that song from earlier, right?” 

He nods in affirmation, silently waiting for her to continue. She pulls out a piece of paper with a drawing on it. He can’t quite make out what it is but she speaks as she walks closer to his side so he can see it better. “I forced Lyna to sit still long enough for a painter to draw this sketch real quick. But, about that song, the Exarch told me he would sing it to Lyna when she was a child. That’s where you know it from. Just more memories leaking through I suppose.”

“A happier one this time then.”

She smiles. “Yes, I would say so.”

He takes a closer look at the image. A Viera woman stands with her arms crossed in what looks like a uniform…

_The Crystarium Guard._ _  
_ _She was always so proud._

“She’s a guard?”

“Oh, yeah, her passion is in protecting her home and those she loves. She’s a wonderful person.”

“She sounds like it. You mentioned he raised her?”

She hums an affirmative. “I don’t know the details of how Lyna came into his care but that’s my understanding. She misses him dearly but continues his work and caring for the people of the Crystarium. She worries for you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, I mentioned this was difficult and she asked how you were handling it. A compassionate one, she is.”

He’s touched by this. A person he never met and who has never met him caring about how he feels. “I wish I could meet her.”

“Perhaps we can figure out cross-world travel and you can. I think she’d like that.” She goes to pocket the image but stops. “Do you want this? You seem to remember more than you had let on and if it brings good memories..?”

His gut says no at first but then another side of him nods his head and reaches for the piece of paper. “Thank you.”

“No worries. I can at least go visit still.” She pauses, looking forward once more. “Come on, we’ve got beasts to slay and civilians to keep safe. Ready for an adventure?”

He grins, the excitement from before slowly returning and his tail flicking in time with his heart. “Always.”

* * *

Filthy and tired, G’raha enters his quarters ready to bathe after his day out with Q’wynn. He would have considered it an overall success except for one event...

_I should have been able to protect her or even do more after!_ _  
_ _I was there and I couldn’t do more than be a shoulder for her to lean on!_

_Calm._ _  
_ _She’s been through such things._ _  
_ _And she will go through them again._ _  
_ _Such is the life of the Warrior of Light._

He snarls at the attempts of the Exarch to calm his raging mind. Q’wynn took a hit for him today. Not just a hit, a slash that cut into her right shoulder and pushed her into him causing them both to tumble, limbs tangling and somewhere in the chaos her ankle got twisted. All he could do was watch as she hissed and muttered under her breath to perform slap-dash conjuration on the gash before felling the final foe. He acted as her crutch on the way back to the Rising Stones where the Scions fussed over her and he left for his room in shame.

_If I had your memories, would she have been safe?_

_There’s no way to tell._

_Answer the question!_ _  
_ _Would you have been able to help?_

_I had centuries to learn new skills._ _  
_ _This is_ **_not_ ** _your fault._

_Answer the damn question._

_...possibly._

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation trying to calm himself down. He hates seeing her get hurt. She’s experienced enough of that for a lifetime; for many lifetimes. He must stop being so stubborn, especially when the benefits outweigh the cons. Even if he were to lose himself a little to this _Exarch_.

_What must I do to learn all you know?_

_Simply accept me._ _  
_ _Accept us._ _  
_ _You are who I had been after all._ _  
_ _We are one._

_And what will become of me?_

_You remain the same._ _  
_ _I am merely a memory._ _  
_ _A collection of moments._ _  
_ _A shadow of who I once was that only you can bring to light._

_Then I will do it._ _  
_ _I accept you._ _  
_ _I accept who I can be._ _  
_ _Who I was in another lifetime._ _  
_ _Share your knowledge with me._ _  
_ _Please. For her._

_It’s always been for her._

* * *

Despite how the Scions had acted earlier in the day, Q’wynn thought it had been an overall success. The short adventure with G’raha was a nice way to reconnect and while magic, healing or otherwise, would have been beneficial, the lack of such skills is a hurdle she has long since become accustomed to overcoming. Injuries are nothing new to her after all. She has concerns though. G’raha has been quiet and at first she chalked it up to the tension between them, the tension she has been attempting to release. She knows she misstepped when she acted as though she needed him to be the Exarch, G’raha of the First.

But that man has died and the world goes on.

No, she fears he overheard the complaints of the Scions. The complaints that he is not the man they were expecting. The usually poised and calm G’raha they met on the First. Only she truly knew the G’raha of the Source. This G’raha has not been broken by the effects of time and worn by the loss of those he called friends. He is still the scholar she got to know under the glittering night sky of deep blue velvet. A man who revelled in pranks and the scent of fresh books; he who was so eager to help and seek out adventure. The man that the G’raha of the First started as; an extraordinary young man whose brilliance is only just starting to shine.

_I’ll just check on him. Make sure he’s alright._

Making her way through the halls of the sleeping quarters, she finds herself standing outside his room. Knocking, she hears a quiet but indiscernible reply.

“It’s me, Q’wynn. May I come in?”

There’s a bit of shuffling of items before he replies, “Yes.” The word comes out shakily causing her concern.

Slowly she opens the door to see the lamp turned low, darkness shrouding most of the room. Taking a step in, she closes the door behind her as carefully as possible. He sits on his bed, facing away from her leaning on the window sill, forehead resting on his arms.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m so sorry.”

“What are you..?”

“I didn’t know… I had no idea…”

“G’raha, what’s wrong?”

He turns to face her and she sees red rimmed eyes with tears falling down his cheeks. “I remember.” He chokes back a sob. “I remember and I’m so so sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearing the end! I'm hoping you're enjoying this last mini-arc <3 Thank you all for sticking with this story! :D
> 
> Please feel free to screech at me over here in the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)! I promise it's filled with wonderful and kind people who will enable you and all your fanfiction needs / desires <3


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